How Anorexia Has Taken a Toll On My Life Posted: 07-01-04 03:04am
I'm not going to tell you my name, where I
live, or why i'm even writing this. Quite
honestly, I don't know. I just do know
that others feel exactly the same I do.
As for the others who are reading and
glimpsing into the struggling lives of
people with eating disorders, here is my
life in a nutshell. I wake up every
morning, go into the bathroom. I step on
the scale, 105. Still. My low being 88
and my highest being 114, i've been stuck
at 105 for 2 days. I've been anorexic for
2 years. Although I used to not look at
it as a disease, I do have anorexia, and I
am in fact, anorexic. As much as I hate
food, I love it. It's a love hate
relationship that I can't really describe.
While i'm eating food, i'm always
thinking "do I really need to eat this?
Think of the calories." I try to stay at
500 calories a day. Of course sometimes I
go overboard by 100, feel guilty, but I
promise myself I won't throw up. I have
thrown up my food twice in my life, and I
cannot deal with 2 eating disorders, mind
you one. Food controls my life. Last
summer, I weighed in at 88 towards the
end. I isolated myself from my friends,
as i'm doing now. Although my friends
aren't home this summer, i'm depressed. I
started cutting myself. It started with
my wrist, which now has 6 prominent scars
which are easy to see. It's not like
anyone is going to say anything, or maybe
nobody cares. So I moved to where no one
can see. My right hip is my new target,
where there are now scars and newly made
cuts. As I said before, food controls my
life. Everytime I eat something, I feel
guilty. I can't go on living like this.
I hope one day, I can be happy, and not
cut myself and not worry about what I put
into my mouth. As I continue to lose
weight, I just think of myself slowly
dying. And I am, because I wish I would.
And that is my life.
And once again, no one cares.
|
elka
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jul 2004 Posts: 3 Location: uk
Posted: 07-04-04 16:04pm
Hey I relate to your story. Im 14, I cut,
I try to go for 5 days without eating and
I burn sometimes. Yeah, no one cares
about me too. My friends ditched me when
they found out what I did
|
X3babydawl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2004 Posts: 3
Posted: 07-08-04 19:04pm
If you ever need anyone to talk to, i'm
here to listen. Let me know if you have
msn or aim or something.
|
>?¿_BaByGuRL_?¿<
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 07-08-04 21:55pm
That is terrible you both think that way.
Not that u feel this way, but that you
actually believe no one cares about you.
I dont even know you both and im nearly in
tears writing this! I am a pretty
emotional person
but I do understand, and im worried and I
really do hope you both can seek some help
and start to live your lives. Im sure a
lot of people care about you and would
definitly care if they knew that ur
hurting yourself and would miss u very
much, if you ever left them.
Babydawl, I also hope that one day you
will be happy, happy with your looks, your
life, and most importantly, yourself, as a
person. I hope you will come to realise
that your beautiful, no matter the number
on the scales.
If anyone needs to talk about anything I
am here.
Peace
xoxoxoxo
|
X3babydawl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jul 2004 Posts: 3
Posted: 07-08-04 23:06pm
Thats very sweet of you to say that. I
only wish I could think the same. I'm
sitting here, cutting, because im doing it
fat.
|
2004Samantha
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jul 2004 Posts: 1
500 Calories a Day Posted: 07-26-04 23:19pm
I
am trying to loose weight and want to know
what some people consume for an intake of
around 500 calories, also if I am just
starting this does anyone have an idea of
how quickly I will drop weight?? Average
lbs per week. Any help and that would be
great. Everyone have a wonderful day!
Thank you
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 07-27-04 00:07am
I agree 199&9/9% with babygurl! You
have made the 1st step of healing, people
do care, let them in! Just try to get
some proffessional help, it is out there
for you! There is nothing to be ashamed
of, we all need a little help sometime!
Their are hotlines to call, er rooms,
doctors, they will help, don't be afraid!
Get help! It is not too late!
Sincerely,
sandy
|
mistherd13
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 52 Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posted: 10-10-04 00:32am
Samantha, you're an fool. Sorry, but it
really seems that way. You don't know
what you're talking about. You shouldn't
drop that low in calorie consumption.
Initially you may lose a lot of weight,
but then that'll just slow down and you'll
plateau. Start a healthy diet of about
1500 calories and that'll be the best.
Elka, trying to not eat for 5 days is not
anorexic. Anorexic is when you're 15% or
more below what your weight should be.
Babydawl, take your scale and smash it
against the wall and then pick up the
pieces into a trash bag and take it
immediately down to the street for the
trash people to pick up. You should
probably also throw whatever you're
cutting yourself with in the bag with the
pieces of your former scale. If you want
to talk, I have msn and yahoo messengers.
|
jellybabyjen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2004 Posts: 4 Location: shropshire
Posted: 10-19-04 10:52am
Im sorry, but ive studied eatign disorders
for 2 years, quite ironic I know, but
being anorexic is not just being
underweight, that comes from being
anorexic!
|
mistherd13
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 52 Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posted: 10-19-04 17:08pm
Perhaps you should study a little more.
One is not considered, classified as
being, anorexic until that person's weight
is 15% below what his/her normal body
weight is. You can look all over the
place and find this information. Until
then, you are just starving yourself or
however you wish to phrase that. What
you're saying is that, should one go a few
meals without eating, the person is
thereby considered anorexic. That is
truly, inarguably incorrect.
Also, I don't comprehend what you believe
is so ironic. If you're referring to
having studied anorexia for 2 years, then
I don't understand why you would think
that was ironic. If you are referring to
the consistency between anorexia and being
underweight, you are incorrect and
therefore I don't understand why you would
believe that either is ironic.
Ps and studying isn't living.
|
>?¿_BaByGuRL_?¿<
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 10-19-04 21:05pm
I think she was referring to the fact that
she is/was anorexic and she also studies
it so thats y its ironic? I dunno thats
the impression I got. Newayz being
anorexic is defined as having body weight
thats 15% below what his/her normal body
weight is. But that is not the only
component of it. Anorexia is a mental
disease and so I believe it doesnt matter
what ppl look like on the outside, its the
anorexic thoughts and wats goin on inside
their head that is the problem. Sure; one
has to be in pretty bad shape physically
to be ‘classified’ as an anorexic, but
what about those who are maybe just
underweight yet still have the ‘anorexic’
mindset? And furthermore; arnt these ppl
on a path to being ‘classified’ as
anorexic if they continue doing things
such as not eating for 5 days at a time?
|
adormer221
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Sep 2003 Posts: 309 Location: colorado
Posted: 10-19-04 21:27pm
X3babydawl I really hope you go and get
help, like now.......Thats all I can say
and dont think that people dont care about
you because they do. Pm me if you ever
need a friend to talk to.
Ash
|
ladymarmalade99
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2004 Posts: 42
Posted: 10-20-04 17:44pm
mistherd13
wrote:
one is not considered,
classified as being, anorexic until that
person's weight is 15% below what his/her
normal body weight
is.
i've heard that too but I know a girl who
is in treatment for anorexia but she is
just skinny from losing alot of weight,
not 15% below. I'm no expert on ed's but
I believe its true that if a person is of
normal weight but thinks and acts like an
anorexic wouldn't that mean ednos? And
they will eventually go below 15%...I
think.
|
mistherd13
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 52 Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posted: 10-20-04 18:42pm
At one point I didn't eat for a bit over a
month. Still then I wasn't technically
anorexic because I only dropped about 10%
of my body weight, which actually would
mostly be water weight that quickly comes
back after again commencing to eat and
drink. Yes, I believe in anorexic
mindsets, but the discussion isn't about
the mindset, but the actual being.
Without one of the components, you
wouldn't truly be anorexic. Treatment can
still be given before the technical
anorexia is attained since the person
would be well on the path to being so.
Theoretically the person could already be
considered anorexic, yeah.
|
>?¿_BaByGuRL_?¿<
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 10-20-04 21:36pm
ladymarmalade99
wrote:
i'm no expert on ed's but I
believe its true that if a person is of
normal weight but thinks and acts like an
anorexic wouldn't that mean ednos? And
they will eventually go below 15%...I
think.
thats basically wat I said..........
|
>?¿_BaByGuRL_?¿<
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 10-20-04 21:54pm
mistherd13
wrote:
without one of the
components, you wouldn't truly be
anorexic.
yes that is right. And (correct me if im
wrong) but purple333 (a member of this
board) has a daughter who was diagnosed
with anorexia nervosa but in fact had
irritable bowel syndrome. That shows that
although she looked anorexic she did not
have that mindset and therefore was not
endangering her health by refusing to eat.
So obviously it isn’t the body (or
weight) which needs to be treated, it’s
the thoughts and whats going on in the
mind.
So if you had the mindset and not the
physical look then u would need treatment.
And if u had the physical and not the
mindset then u would still need treatment
but it wouldn’t be in an anorexic ward,
would it?
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
but I do understand, and im worried and I
really do hope you both can seek some help
and start to live your lives. Im sure a
lot of people care about you and would
definitly care if they knew that ur
hurting yourself and would miss u very
much, if you ever left them.
I
am trying to loose weight and want to know
what some people consume for an intake of
around 500 calories, also if I am just
starting this does anyone have an idea of
how quickly I will drop weight?? Average
lbs per week. Any help and that would be
great. Everyone have a wonderful day!
Thank you
