Ok, first you need to know some background information for anything to even make sense. Dottie is my ex-bestfriend. I hate her. She's a prostitute...Seriously. She really gets around. Anyway...She dated nick a while back. She talked to other guys while they were dating and health forum at him all the time about stupid caca. I constantly used to ask her why she was even with him if she wasn't happy. Then, after they broke up, she started dating nick's best friend chipper. They dated for a few weeks and then she met one of chipper's friends, charles. Then, she started dating charles. Now, charles has been in jail several times and every time he goes to jail, dottie cheats on him with like 5 different guys. Charles just got out of jail again a couple weeks ago. As some of you guys know, me and nick have had some history.




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The other night my brother had some of his friends over because they had bought a bunch of fireworks and were setting them off in the street out front of the house. Nick was here too. After they got done setting of the fireworks it was pretty boring, so I asked nick if he wanted to go to the movie place and rent a movie. He said yeah, so we went. We got there right as they had closed though. So, I decided to try to ask around and see if anyone had any good dvds. Even though I don't get along with dottie too well, her mom and I are cool and talk all the time. I decided to go to my friend sherry's house (which is right across the street from dottie's mom's house) and ask her if I could borrow a dvd. Nick waited in the car though. Well, she couldn't find them, cuz she said she only had a couple and her husband must have put them somewhere. So, I decided to go across the street to dottie's mom's house and ask. Nick waited in the car again there. But dottie's mom only had disney movies. Then, we went back to my house and just decided to watch scary movie 3 over at his house. We invited my little brother over to watch it with us. While we were watching the movie, justin had gone to my house and my dad told him I wasn't home and that I was over at nicks. So, justin knocked on nick's door and I went out on the porch to talk to him. He asked what we were going and I said that we were watching a movie and then he asked what movie and I told him scary movie 3. He was like, "oh cool". Then, he asked me what dottie was doing and I told him she was probably having sex with charles (cuz that's what she truly is usually doing). Justin was really high and drunk though. He had just came from a party at the college. I told him to go home and go to sleep because he wasn't in any condition to be driving. He didn't listen though, and he went to dottie's apartment and even though me and nick had done absolutely nothing and I told justin we were just watching a movie...He told dottie that I was having sex with nick. Yeah, to say the least...That didn't go too swell. Anyway, back to the movie...




So we were watching the movie on his couch together and he started rubbing my arm and then he put his arm around me. I scooted closer to him and we cuddled up together under a blanket. It was sweet. We watched another movie after scary movie 3 was over and my brother had fallen asleep across the room on the other couch. During the end of the second movie, we started making out and then things started heating up and there was touching and groping...Anyways, we ended up on his bed together and we had sex. So, even though I hadn't had sex with him before justin came over, I did after he had left. That kind of put me in an weird position the next day when dottie called me up health forum at me and telling me how messed up it was that I was "messing" with her ex. She's like really pissed off and she told her boyfriend, charles, about it and he said she was jealous. That kind of made him mad because he got the impression that dottie still liked nick. So, today, charles decided to walk to nick's house (and remember, nick lives one house down from me) to "beat his a$$". My parents get home from the store and pull in our driveway and see justin and dottie driving up and down the road and charles over at nick's. They come in and ask why charles is over at nick's and ask why dottie and justin keep driving by the house. I flip out and get pissed and go over to nick's and tell charles off and then i'm like, "dottie better watch the f*ck out, cuz i'm sick ok her caca". I was so pissed I started shaking, so I drove over to sherry's (that's where dottie and justin were) and I was planning on beating the caca out of dottie, but dottie's mom and sherry and the little 5 year old girl that she babysits were all out on the porch with her and justin...So I couldn't. I asked justin what they were doing and why charles decided to make a scene at nick's in front of all his friends. Justin claims he had nothing to do with it, but none of this would have happened if he wouldn't have went back and told dottie. They said that charles was pissed off at nick. That's when I was like, "for what? I'm not his doing it girlfriend, why should he care?" and then I left. I got home and the phone kept ringing and it was dottie, so I didn't answer it. Then, justin started calling too. I finally got sick of it and answered the phone and it was justin. He was like, "i heard something about you." I asked him what he heard and he said he had heard that I touched charles's dick. Which is .caca!!! He's nasty and I wouldn't mess with him if he was the last guy on earth!!! So now dottie thinks I messed with her boyfriend. The only reason I can think of that he would tell her that, is to make her jealous of him since she's jealous of nick and he's pissed about it. I'm really sick of this crap though. There has been nothing but bad caca and drama in my life. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. I honestly felt so unstable today, I thought about checking myself into mental health hospital. I know that sounds stupid, but i'm serious. I'm so stressed and i'm sooo soo tired. I have depression, axiety and now chronic fatigue syndrom. I really don't feel like dealing with all the extra added stress and crap. Then, there's the situation you guys already know about with my mom talking about me behind my back and about her pretending ethan is hers. Everyone thinks i'm this horrible person, and i'm really not. I have .N.O. Friends left whatsoever. Just when you think someone is your friend, they stab you in the back. I tried to call my friend steven and talk to him, because he's usually really understanding and helps me out, but he just lectured me and told me that i'm "going down the wrong path". I'm really not doing anything bad. I stay in my house all day like a loser. Occasionally, I do go out hang out, but not very often. He told me that I need to get my life together. He doesn't understand, no one understands. They just go by what everyone else has told them or what they've heard. I am seriously so lost. I have no one. I have no friends. I have no one to talk to about anything. I feel like i'm going crazy. I can't talk to my parents, I have no friends and i'm getting to the point where I feel like giving up and that everything is hopeless. There is so much more to say, but I just can't do it. I'm sorry...I just need to rest for a while. I'm so so very tired.





Crystal