Where do I begin. I use to be a happy person in life and enjoyed every moment of it, that was until my life took a turn towards anxiety. My ex girlfriend who was my first true love back in 1999. I thought I was going to marry this girl. After highschool I went on to play college basketball and was away and on the road a lot. She ended up cheating on me with another guy, who she claimed they were just friends in the begining; it was so bad that I would call her the next day and ask her what she did, and she would say she went out with her friend and spent the night over there, but don't worry she slept on the couch, yeah right. Anyways I didn't want to lose her so I let it pass. Well we finally broke up cause I couldn't take it anymore. This is when it all started. Everytime I would see her after the break up I would get really naseous and I would say that for about 4 months I would get so nauseous from seeing her that I would throw up. As time went on it got better but I would still get nauseous around her. Not only that but the panic attacks spread to everyday things, I think I might have developed a little social anxiety. Anyways 3 years past and I thought I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. One day I started hanging out with my neighbor and eventually we started dating, but everytime I would have a panic attack I would get really nauseous. I never did throw up from it though. So as time went on the panic attacks went away and I was happy. Well just this past year we broke up, but it wasn't a bad break up no cheating or anything like that. Months went by before I saw her again, and when I would see her I would get really nauseous, and this summer is the first time I have seen her in a long time because she was living near me. And everytime she would come over I would start getting so nervous or when I first saw her, I would get so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. Now that I have seen her almost on a daily basis even though she has a boyfriend, I don't get sick anymore around her, allthough I avoid eating with her because I am afraid that if I start having a panic attack that the food sitting on my stomach will only make it worse. That was another thing, when I first started dating amy (my neighbor) we hardly went out to eat because I would feel a panic attack come on everytime she asked me to go, with time it was no problem of course we went out to eat all the time. I was never like that with sandra (ex that cheated). So in the relationship with amy I held back a lot because I felt panic attacks come on or I thought that if I do certain things I would have a panic attack and get really nauseous. This is the reason why I haven't been on any dates since me and amy broke up which has been about a year now, because I am afraid that I am going to have a panic attack. I don't know what to do anymore. This panic attacks or anxiety whatever it is is killing me and ruining my life. I just want to know what in the world is wrong with me? Does anyone have an idea? I am 23 years old and I don't want to waste my life away, I think sometimes I am just a big worrier and that cause me to get really naseous, because I think about things too much. Now at this point in my life I want nothing more than to be with amy again, because I held back a lot in our relationship I just want the panic attacks to stop so I can give her my all. I can't even fight for her now and show her how much I still love her and care for her because everytime I try to panic attacks come on. Please give me all the advice and help that you have for me; I would greatly appreciate it.