Hey hun my real dad used to do that w/ myself and my sisters call and come around whenever he wanted...U need to set boundaries and rules w/ him tell him if he wants to take him out of town w/ him he has to come over like 3 days be4 the day he wants to take him or tell him he in order for him to do those things w/ his son he has to come around 4 out of the 7 days of the week for longer than just a few min set limitations and stuff b/c he sounds like a real a$$!

Just wanted to let you know I care. I don't know enough about your situation to form a more intelligent reply, but I do care.

*sighs* part of my situation is--alexander was admitted..Blah blah blah..*sighs again* I need to go now....Im sick of sitting on my fat butt on the comp...Later..

Nikki hun I totally care!!! I think ur such a great person and a mother!! If he really wants to see alex than he should seem him like once every 2 weeks or something I dunno...But its up to you...

I agree with the above post, I don't remember which one. You tell him that if he wants to take your baby for a weekend that he needs to be there all of the time. Tell him he is not going to be one of those convenience dads. Ya know the kind that come around every once in a blue moon just to take the baby to show him off. Or the kind that wait until they are older and then he is just the child's friend. I know so many "dad's" like that. It makes me soooooo mad!
Put your foot down. He does sound like a real butt head.

Ok no offense but y do u always post stuff like this saying u doubt we care? And then if someone doesnt know about ure situation u get all upset and offended and I know uve done it many times... There are alot of girls on the forum.. Its hard to remember everyones exact situations.. I dont know why u get so offended. . It doesnt mean people dont care. I care and I know many others here do too.....We all post things about our lives and I dont think anybody just doesnt care. When I tell a story or say something, I always start out by telling the situation over again for those that dont know it even if I had already told it

Did I say something about getting offended?

Not to be rude but how old are you, the father and your son? How much time has this guy spent with his son? I have a 6 year old son, a 2 year old son and a 5 month old daughter. My husband works out of town for 2 to 3 months at a time. When he comes home all the kids act fine. None of them forget who he is (granted our daughter will have no recollection of him but she doesn't fuss in the slightest around him). He rarely feeds, bathes, changes diapers, etc but just because he doesn't do it often doesn't mean he can't if he has to. I think this is more you trying to control the situation, even to the detriment of your son. Why would you even want to keep the two of them apart? Sooner or later the father is going to completely walk out and then you will be complaining about an absentee father when in reality you played a large part in him walking out of your son's life.

You need to set up days and times when this guy can come get his child. Yes, get his child. He doesn't need to hang out at the house with you just to see his son. Set the schedule firmly and advise him that if there are to be any changes you will 24 hour notice. Otherwise, have his diaper bag packed and have your son dressed and ready to go. You might as well wise up to the fact that this is how it has to be because I assure you if he goes to court over visitation he will win. The courts recognize a father's right to unsupervised visitation (barring him being convicted of child abuse, neglect or endangerment) and overnight or weekend visitation. I suggest you stop thinking of yourself and start thinking about what is best for your son.

I have to disagree with that. Your situation is completely different from a father her wants to be there but works out of town. Then you have a dead beat who shows up when he feels like it. That is two totally different things. My sister went through the same thing with her daughters father. And no its not just when he feels like coming around once a month. They are either there or they are not. That will only confuse the baby. How would you say "oh sorry, daddy doesnt want to see you this month" I dont think so. No woman should have to shift her schedule around when the dead beat wants to show up whenever he feels like it and take the baby. Especially since he is sick. If he wants to be a good father hed be there more often. And yes he should stick around for a while so the baby can get used to him, because are far as we know, hes a stranger.
My sister had supervised visitation and when he didnt show up when supposed to, it was his loss, not only that...His child support gets raised. The less the dead beat is there, the more he pays.

So nikki, if he wants to see him, you can give him a time and date on a weekend and see if he will show up. Other than that, let him get mad. And dont say we dont care, when no one has ever said they dont.

No u didnt flat out say "im offended" but quite a few times uve made comments like 'doubt anyone cares' and seem to get upset and annoyed if we dont remember something about u.. So it seems like it.

Yeah, nikki is right. It is completely different to have children who have a father who works out of town for two or three months at a time, and to have a father who just wants to come around when he feels like it.
Huge difference. If he wants to get his child at certain times on a continuous basis, alright , but if he is going to be a dad only when it is convenient for him the screw that. He doesn't deserve that and neither does her child. The child would be better of being raised just by the mother.