If you're uncomfortable with sex and don't want to have it, tell him. If he loves you he will understand and listen to you and you can work it out together. If he thinks you need to provide sex for him he's not worth it, or if he thinks that this isn't something that he needs to work out with you, then he's not worth it either.

A bad sexual experience can set the tone for future sex, so make sure you look out for your own needs. No one can do it for you, and no one should have sex if they don't want to... It only colors it with negativity.

I'm a guy and let me tell you, sex is not the main thing on all of our minds. My guess is that you don't want to upset him by saying "look I don't want to have sex for a while" he'll probably understand. If you know he loves you he can deny himself something. Sex really isn't the most important thing in the world, but it does matter for a relationship, I ould hope for your sake that it never becomes the thing that your relationship is centered around because then it could become empty. One last thing, if your boyfriend does truly love you he'd give up sex entirely to make you happy. I know I would for my girlfriend. Hope this helps.

Patrick

I talked to my boyfriend today and we didn't really get anywhere with it but at least he knows kind of how I feel(i don't even really know how I feel) he said that it was important to him but not as much as my happiness. Now that I have that off my chest it'll be easier to figure out what it is I really want. Thanks for the advise guys.
<3 samantha

This really is an interesting topic. To some people sex is a very important part of a relationship. But, to others it is just not.
As long as you are both happy with yourselves and each other, then I guess it really doesn't matter whether you have sex three times a day or three times a year.
It is great that you two can talk about it though, and that neither of you pushes the other.
If you or he do come to a point where it becomes more important, maybe you should try experimenting. You know, more or different foreplay, different positions and such. Maybe if you find out what it is that you want sexually then you will want to have it more often.
I know before I figured out what it is that I liked and didn't I dreaded having to have sex.
But, some people just really don't care for it and there is nothing wrong with that. It sounds like you two have a pretty good relationship, and that is a great thing. Just don't let him push you, and if he tries explain to him that he just cannot do that.
Good luck, dear.

That is good that you are able to talk to your boyfriend openly. I know that I really enjoy sex with a monagomous partner. The only thing that get's in the way for me is sometimes I feel guilty because I am not married. Not because I want to marry the particular person, but that I was raised in a christian family and christian schools that taught me it was not ok and it is a bad thing to do. If I was not raised this way I would probably entirely love sex. Also my older sister always tells me that guys have no motivation to get married if you sleep witht them before marriage. I know that that is not always the truth. I know many people that are married that did not wait for their wedding night and they are married.

I am happy that you have morals. That is a very rare thing nowadays. Well, not to have morals, but to really try to commit to them.
I am a christian, but am not married and have had sex. I know that it is a sin, and I am not condoning my actions, but there is not a one of us who has never or will never sin.
Maybe after you are married, the guilt will go away and you will be able to enjoy sex. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you feeling that way. Nothing wrong with it at all.

I see your sister's point, but each person is different. And the truth is, a man (or woman for that matter) will not marry if not in love. (well, in general) so if a man loves you and wants to be with you, then he will marry you whether or not you had sex with him before or after marriage.
If he does not love you and you don't have sex with you then he will just go and get it somewhere else. But, it is better to know ahead of time.
Just follow your feelings no matter what you decide. If your love for each other is strong enough then it shouldn't matter if you never have sex again until after marriage. Good for you.

There are a lot of tough times in a marriage. We just celebrated our 40th anniversary and every year has been a real challenge in one way or another. Until my husband went through his mid-life crisis and the impotency and depression associated with blood pressure medication, I never realized the enormity of the meaning of sex in a marriage. It is the absolute glue that keeps a husband and wife compatible together, loving each other, and able to overlook a million little things that otherwise would irritate beyond endurance. It is the gift that god gives at the altar when the priest says "henceforth, you shall belong entirely to one another."
we had dated for 4 1/2 years before our marriage and it was very hard to resist becoming one before we had the right. He loved me incredibly and yet he wanted to wait until our union was blessed. That was how I knew, during the awful time a few years ago when it seemed like he loathed me and all my friends said he was surely running around, that I never had to doubt his faithfulness. If he was virtuous in the past about waiting for sex with me whom he so deeply loved, I was confident that he would not be less virtuous with the girl in his office who so obviously desired him at that vulnerable time in his life when we were apart sexually and emotionally. That correct intuition and peace of soul was what got me through the hardest time in my life.
The marriage ceremony is so much more than a signature on a piece of paper. It is the blending of two lives until death with a promise before god that grants the right and privilege of living and sleeping together. It's a spiritual union that binds not only bodies, but souls. What was before marriage cheap and sinful, becomes after marriage something to impart grace; a blessed means of uniting the wills of two very different people, increasing the respect they have for one another, holding them together through difficult times, and creating a stable and loving home for the family they will be given.

They are waiting because they are not married, that is what the posts said.
As I said, sex is important to some people and unimportant to others. So, it just depends on the individuals.
Also, sad to say, but some people are just not good in bed. And no matter how hard you try to "teach" them what you like, it just doesn't click. In those circumstances sex isn't important because it isn't any good anyway. Hopefully none of you get stuck in that position. (no pun intended)
but for those who want sex in their lives and in their relationships I completely agree with the above post. When there is love involved sex is wonderful. (usually)