|no place to start, but from the beginning...
I have recently been in a relationship with a bipolar girl. I knew her for four years in highschool before we started going out. I was actually going to a different college than her all of fall term and we didn't start dating until christmas break. I didn't go back to my other college. We broke up and got back together I think 8 times in two months and eventually she just asked me to be friends. I agreed to this, but I wanted her to know how I felt about her. I had been telling her for the past 3 years how I felt and I told her that I would be her friend; that I would always be there, but that I would always be interested in more than friends.
We were friends for about two weeks in february and when valentine's day came I gave her a journal of my past thoughts and experiences for two months. Alot of it was about her. There was an ensuing conversation that lead up to me giving her the journal though. We had just gone for a walk and she had invited me up at 12:00 in the afternoon to do so. After the walk she asked me to leave and I asked her why because I had only been there for about a half hour and I thought we could get a bite to eat or get some people together and see a movie. She said she had school and other things (but she had told me yesterday she didn't have anything so I didn't say anything). I then asked her openly why she was pushing me away. She became defensive and then asked me why I was thinking that. I just looked in her in the eyes said happy valentine's and gave her the journal. I gave her the journal reluctanntly because she didn't like mentioning "us". We then said goodbye and I drove home.
Not but a half hour later I recieved a call saying she had read the journal and told me she never wanted to see me again. I knew this was an act of manipulation on her part, and I said giving you the journal was a stupid idea I knew you didn't want me talking about our relationship it gives you stress and hung up. She called me back telling me not to do anything stupid and I told her she already had. I never should have written that journal in the first place.
The next day I tried to get a hold of her and found out she was at her work so I drove over there to fix things. I didn't know what I was gonna do. It ended with her asking me to leave and me walking off solemnly. I went back to her dorm room and sat outside her door all day till she got back from work. I then handed her a love letter she had sent to me when I was in colorado, said I was sorry and that we'll always have paris =).
It has since been three months. I have called her twice since then, once to ask her if she had seen something of mine, and a second time to ask for her forgiveness and to see if we would do something this summer. The second call was a month ago, I have since sent two emails. I haven't heard from her or seen her.
I know that bipolar relationships are hard, and that I have to give more. I'm not bipolar. I am willing to do anything for her. I swore to myself that no matter what is happening in my life if I heard her name I would drop my life right there to find her and help her.
I have to ask what do I do? Why?
(this isn't the whole story just most of it)
"the sweet can only get sweeter till it's sour."