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Please Please Help Me!!!!

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Okay heres the story the night be4 raven and I started going out this guy I had met here asked me if I wanted to go to the hotel his grandparents own w/ his brother and his g/f to hang out and party and that...Well I finished my second beer and I wasnt feeling right and started to feel sleepy so I layed but be4 I did I looked at the clock it was 1am...I didnt wake up till 6am and I was half way undressed and I kno I wasnt when I layed down I asked him wat happen he kept saying nothing he was being really mean to me yelling for me to get my clothes on and !**@! I havent seen or talk to him since and I kno something happened.........Well heres wat I need help on the other day when raven was over here I just told him we went to a hotel drank and had sex b/c I didnt want to get emotional or anything.....Well two nights ago I told him the whole story he got mad at me for lieing to him bout it he was like ur trying to justify it y cant u just admit u !**@! up y couldnt u tell me about this in the beginning I told him b/c I hadnt told anyone and I figuered if I just didnt talk about it would go away he was like well it didnt see...Well yesterday he told me that I hurt him and that u doesnt trust me and he is second guessing everything I have said in the past and that he wanted to break up....Well I did some talking and we r back together....But I talked too him last night and he isnt sure if he loves me the same way anymore he isnt sure if he wants to spend his life w/ me he isnt sure if I still mean something to him but he still does love me...... Wat do I do to get him to be sure of those things wat do I say to make him realize that im the same person he fell in love w/ in the beginning my heart feels like its in a million pieces please help me!!!
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replied June 18th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
I can't believe raven would react that way to you telling him something like that. I know most guys wouldn't be mad at .Y.O.U. They would want to break the other guy's legs. You do realize if that guy had sex with you then it .I.S. Rape and if raven doesn;t understand how serious and emotionally draining dealing with something like that is then....
I think you should be proud of yourself for getting up the courage to tell someoen about what happened and raven just seems to be beating around the bush (one day he loves you, the next he doesnt know, or he doesnt want to be with you). Does he understand what an emotional rollercoaster that creates for you? If anything he should trust you more and be supportive of you after telling him something like that not accusing you or telling you he wont trust you anymore. Sorry hun I don't know what to say only that if you ever need to talk im here (and as a sidenote I have been through a sexual assault before; I hate calling it rape). I'm so sorry he's acting like this but just know that its .S.O. Good you told someone.
Lots of love
tanya
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replied June 18th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
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replied June 18th, 2004
Experienced User
Jeni- try not to stress too much, hun. I have learned by now that guyz always need alittle time to cool off, then they can have a clear head to talk things over and forgive. The worst thing to do is push them when thier not ready to listen to reason. Sigh, they are just a diffrent species all together. They cant understand that we girlz need to talk things over and make it all better "right away"!!! I'm sure he'll come around, hun, just be patient, and in the mean time, talk to us about it!! We're here 4 ya!
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