I'm completely new to this forum, and I have to admit I have a fear about things like these, but I have to talk to someone.
I'm 27 and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl 3 months ago. Her father, a man I trusted more than anyone in the world, abandoned us a month before she was born. His excuse.... "god told him he had sinned and it was his responsibility to make it right". I was devastated when he did it. Human beings have a tendency to do horrible things to each other, but this was more than I ever expected one to do. The most insane thing about this..... He's 43 and has been unable to have children before. He wanted this child more than anything, and so we decided to go ahead and do it. This was a planned pregnancy!!
This is more than I think any person should ever have to go through. It's something i'm not sure i'll ever be able to get over. I cry almost every day. I keep focusing on the fact that I had to give birth completely alone. Then I remember that my child, this true gift from god, will never have a father.
Will I ever be able to get through this? Some days I think I will, but others are so hard to bear that I wish I could be somewhere else. Do any of you have any ideas about what I may be able to do to help myself? Thanks in advance for taking the time to read
It's not your fault, don't blame yourself! Some times men have a lot of problems try not to figure it out, he may come back and then again, he may not! You have your child, you will have good times and bad times, we all do! Just do what you can! My thoughts and prayers are with you! You can get help, their is help out their for you and your baby, don't be afraid or ashamed to ask. Life is not easy with or without children. Feel free to talk to us anytime. I hope I have helped!
I have gone thru something very similar - my husband and I planned our daughter ...She was born and placed on life support and by a miracle god left her with us ...Today she is 6 and just fine . My husband one day three years ago decided he didnt want to be married anymore and up and walked out . I was devastated . He moved 5 states away to be with his high school sweetheart and now treats me as if I am diseased . Its been three years and I am now back among the living . Our daughter does not even remember her dad and I together and that breaks my heart . We had a great relationship and then poof . All thanks to the internet . The truth is ...Some people cant handle being parents ....Its not your fault ...Its there problem ...Thank god for your child and learn to accept that this is just yours for now ...In time when he sees that u are ok on your own and that this child is more important then his selfishness ...He may have a change of heart ...But dont bet the farm on it ...Take care of yourself and the baby and learn to love you ...U did nothing wrong ...Remember always its his problem ..Not yours ! And certainly not the babys
What is important is that your baby has one parent who loves her very much. You will be able to tell your daughter how much she was wanted, and maybe one day she will get to know her father, but that he couldn't be there for her just now.
Some people just can't handle the responsibility, and it sounds like your man may have some serious "issues" generally. You can't be sure that if he had stuck around that he would have been a good father -- and it certainly isn't true that any father is better than none at all! Just consider yourself lucky that you got something good from him, and maybe that was what his role in your life was intended to be. Good luck.
My ex-husband did the same thing to me. I was so crushed. He may have said and acted that he wanted a baby. The bit about the sin...
Like someothers have said...Be greatful for your baby..She has one loving parent. My two have me, it's so difficult at times. Also be greatful that you didn't marry this jerk. Men can be real worthless. Please take care of you and your little one. Enjoy her while she is young. Hang tight. I am sorry I don't have many words of wisdom for you but just thank your lucky stars you have a beautiful baby and she is all yours.
your daughter is the lucky one:she has a mother there for her.I think the father just thought of himself.But don't worry,you're gonna have so many fun times watching her grow.It may hurt because you might want the father to be there for her at her time of need but it's your wonderful time with her.Spend as much time with her as you can.She will look up to you for support.Be advised though:these kinds of fathers are the ones who will come back years later after all the hard work you've put into raising her by yourself and try to be the "daddy" he missed out on.We all make choices that work for us.He's made a choice he thinks works for him.I think he's losing so much of life! You and your daughter are the lucky ones! Have a nice day.Hug and kiss the baby:)