Teen Pregnancy Forum - Re: Miscarry...or Abort?

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Q: Re: Miscarry...or Abort?

asked by: xgravitygirlx on June 8th, 2004

New User

Hey! I'm jessica. I'm 18 years old, and i've just entered my 2nd trimester, apparently. I've been doing research here and there.

Anyway, i've been bleeding...And I went to the doctor yesterday for the first time since I got pregnant [[ april 24th ]]. She told me that the baby was not going to live. My health is hell, and that the baby was endangered... And that it wouldn't make it to the 3rd trimester. She gave the baby a week, a few weeks...A month tops. But she told me I could either wait it out and miscarry or have an abortion.

Due to my religious beliefs, i'm not really considering having an abortion. I don't have a boyfriend [[ he and I got drunk the night we met at a party and woke up in bed together. ]] he and I still talk and are on good terms... But I really just can't imagine going to the clinic and terminating this pregnancy. I know I probably sound like a hypocrite. I got drunk and pregnant, but yet i'm too convicted about abortion. Sorry.

Can someone help me out here? Has anyone ever experienced this? Is this rare?

Thank you.

- jess.

Replies(28)

Darling

replied on June 8th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Im a little confused. Did you have an ultrasound? Why wouldn't you be in the hospital if your bleeding? Did they tell you whats wrong with your child? Why didnt you get pre-natal care before this? I don't think a doctor would send you away like that, in fact if your bleeding they would keep you under strict observation...Im quite confused in fact!

KariM1804

replied on June 9th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Ok ignore mary we dont know who this chic is so dont take her advice. Shes going around making stupid posts like that.

Anyhow.. Im with darling on that one. Can u answer all those questions???? I cant see a doc sending u away like that when ur bleeding and just telling you the baby isnt going to live.. Whats wrong the baby and your health?

insurancegirl

replied on June 9th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

smith8500

replied on June 9th, 2004

Especially eHealthy

Hey

My sis-in-law got pregnant with my niece and she was told: abort or himmorage to death and die. Tiffaney's utrus was 1/2 the size of a normal one and she was told there was no way her baby would live so abort it, or wait it out and they both die. Tiffaney said no way! She wouldn't ever kill her baby. End of this story: a 4-year-old running around, counting, smiling, and being bad! Lol. She had kaitlyn and both of them lived through it with little complications other than that kaitlyn was 2 months premature. I say wait it out; get another opinion.

lilmama2b_oct04

replied on June 9th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

My god it sounds like you have a crappy doctor. I say go to a different doctor, start takin some vitamins, and just wait it out... Your baby may be able to survive this. I would never be able to abort a baby, I wouldnt be able to live with myself. The doctor told me that my baby had a calcium deposit in the heart and there was a possibility that she could have down syndrome, and he asked if I wanted to get an amniocintesis (sp?) which is a very risky procedure that could lead to miscarrige and other complications, and my mom said I could get it and if she did have downsyndrome she asked if I wanted to abort her, I said no way, I wasnt even going to get the amniocintesis, and I would just live with whatever god gave me, he wont give me anything that I cant handle, he will just give me something that will make me a stronger person. Well it turns out that the deposit in the heart is gone now, and my baby is just fine, and I could have risked her life just gettin the amnio... Im so glad I didnt.

chrystinmarie

replied on June 9th, 2004

Experienced User

lilmama2b_oct04 wrote:

my god it sounds like you have a crappy doctor. I say go to a different doctor, start takin some vitamins, and just wait it out... Your baby may be able to survive this. I would never be able to abort a baby, I wouldnt be able to live with myself. The doctor told me that my baby had a calcium deposit in the heart and there was a possibility that she could have down syndrome, and he asked if I wanted to get an amniocintesis (sp?) which is a very risky procedure that could lead to miscarrige and other complications, and my mom said I could get it and if she did have downsyndrome she asked if I wanted to abort her, I said no way, I wasnt even going to get the amniocintesis, and I would just live with whatever god gave me, he wont give me anything that I cant handle, he will just give me something that will make me a stronger person. Well it turns out that the deposit in the heart is gone now, and my baby is just fine, and I could have risked her life just gettin the amnio... Im so glad I didnt.

you are a very amazing person and an excellent mother! I admire you for the decision you made and for keeping your head high and looking at things positively!

xgravitygirlx

replied on June 9th, 2004

New User

I'm not bleeding profusely, like a period flow or whatever... Just spotting. And the doctor does suck... But she's the ob/gyn i've always gone to. I can't feel any lump in my abdomen or anything... So I don't know what's going on.

Is this rare or what? I just don't understand, and I don't plan on telling my parents if the baby is just going to die anyway. And how am I supposed to have pre-natal care if I didn't know I was pregnant until like, two weeks ago?

The situation is awful. I have no idea what i'm doing anymore.

And i'm afraid this is not a joke...So please help me out and take me seriously.

Thank you again.

insurancegirl

replied on June 9th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

lilmama2b_oct04

replied on June 9th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

I think you should tell your parents about it, and you should see a diferent doctor as soon as possible... Spotting is normal in pregnancy, on the other hand, bleeding (like a period or worse) isnt, but in some cases that is normal too... How did your doctor predict your baby will die? I know this girl that is pregnant, and she has been pregnant 3 times before, and she miscarried all her other babies, but this one survived, even though they said it wouldnt. You really need to see a different doctor that will do something about it, they can keep you in the hospital and put you on meds and stuff to help the baby out til it is strong enough to survive. I just dont get how your doctor would just say, oh your baby is going to die and just send you home.

smith8500

replied on June 9th, 2004

Especially eHealthy

Hey

You need to see another doctor. Plain and simple. Tell your mother first of all and then see another doc.

xgravitygirlx

replied on June 9th, 2004

New User

Thanks jennifer. It really means a lot.

I'm going to take care of myself as much as I can...And the doctor rescheduled an appointment for me in a few weeks for a checkup and stuff.

Mesmerizeu15

replied on June 9th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

How do you feel abotu all of this now?? Does the baby move?? Are you gaining weight?? What type of insurance do you have ( I have a reason for asking this)!!

xgravitygirlx

replied on June 9th, 2004

New User

Okay. So I go get a second opinion. I guess insurance will cover it... Or i'll call him and get him to take care of it.

And I think I will tell my mother.

Cross your fingers.

<3

smith8500

replied on June 9th, 2004

Especially eHealthy

Hey

No, if you are bleeding and stuff like this you don't have an appt. In "a few weeks" go see another doc and go now.

xgravitygirlx

replied on June 9th, 2004

New User

I have blue cross blue shield...Federal.

How do I feel? I feel numb and overwhelmed. I'm not throwing up in the mornings anymore, but I feel weak and nauseated. I'm having the headaches, my boobs are pudgier, and i'm getting...Bloated, I guess... My face has gotten a little pudgier and my tummy and my thighs... But I don't have the little canteloupe thing going on.

lilmama2b_oct04

replied on June 9th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Yea, dont wait! You should do it asap! Tell your mom now. Dont be nervous, just tell her, im sure she will be more mad if you didnt tell her and then she finds out her grandchild has died. You shouldnt keep them kind of things from parents. I thought my mom would flip, but she didnt, shes happy about it! And shes expecting a 2nd within 3 years lol... Well I hope everything goes good, and your baby makes it.

P.S. My name is april, im 17 and 25 weeks pregnant with a baby girl.

KariM1804

replied on June 9th, 2004

Active User, very eHealthy

Im confused tho.. The doctor would tell u why you are going to lose the baby and whats wrong or going on.. Did they just say your miscarrying or what? Also..Did they have an u/s? This just doesnt make sence to me that they would say ur baby is going to die in a few weeks or a month..... And u gotta tell ur parents either way hun seriously!

Mesmerizeu15

replied on June 9th, 2004

Extremely eHealthy

Have you felt the baby move?? So you dont have state insurance... Well that that blows what I thought out of the water. How old are you? Are you sure that this doctor wasnt just so far against teen pregnancy that she said this. I think you need a second opinion. And ya know you can go to the er and just be like. "i have been worried sick, I am so frustrated and worried that I need to seee and doctor now to make sure my baby is ok. A doc told me that she wouldnt like and I just need to plain and simple.I know stress is not good for my baby so please see me now"

xgravitygirlx

replied on June 9th, 2004

New User

I just did this calculator thing online. It says i'm at 8 weeks and 3 days...

But anyway, I don't know crap about insurance. And I will go get a second opinion. I'll call first thing in the morning. And my mother isn't home right now, so i'll tell her tonight.

The response is overwhelming. Thank you all so much.

The doctor told me that my body is rejecting the baby...Something like that. I don't understand it. She was really set on selling me a contraceptive ring [[ ...? ]] anyway, yeah.

And i'm 18 years old. I graduated high school this year.

April, good luck with your beautiful girl.

Yes, they did an ultrasound and she said the heartbeat was weak. She said there is no way the baby will survive. My health is bad, and the baby's health is bad...So I could abort or wait for a miscarriage....

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