Oh honey you will be just fine. No one ever said it was easy. You can promise yourself not to be like your mother all that you want, but in the way of depression and anxiety you cannot control that. It is out of your hands and is also hereditary in some instances. That is where I get mine.
I went homebound my sophmore year of high school and never went back. I did graduate, but missed so much. I hated school, I hated everyone and everything. My parents had me on depacode and then lithium and all I did was sleep all day. I gained weight and wanted even more to never leave the house again. I finally went off of meds and straightened up. I was fine for about three years and then my anxiety went through the roof. Ever since then I have been trying to find my way. I am not depressed because I am on zoloft and it keeps my depression completely away. It doesn't really help with anxiety though. I feel that I have wasted my whole life. Especially the last four years.
But you know what? It doesn't matter. What matters is what we do now. We cannot change the past. We can only better our futures. Go the doctor honey. There is absolutely no shame in that at all. And the sooner you get meds or counseling the sooner you can heal and live your life! Pm me if you need to talk.
But, just know there is hope and help! There are reasons to go on living! I promise you!

Iwillfearnoevil,

a very religious sounding "name" maybe there is something you believe in & maybe you know that if you work at it & help yourself you will find help.

What you posted about your mum could so apply to me that I almost cried for my own daughter(16) as I know that how you feel is how she feels & what she fears. But there is a difference between you & your mum - several in fact.

1) you are you not her.

2) you have so much more access to information & help than she or I had when your age - so you have a better chance of finding out what's wrong & getting the right (repeat right) help.

3) you can learn by her mistakes - & your father's (like you can choose not to become an alcoholic because you don't like what it's done to him & to you through him.

4) yes, you have some of your mum in you but you have some of all your ancestors so ok, you too may suffer depression but that doesn't mean you'll automatically become her.

Take hotasfricks advice too. Pm me if you want to chat.

You have already received a lot of good advice. I think the way you are thinking about things is skewed and causing you extra pain. See if you can find any cbt groups in your area and join one as they will teach you the tools that is applied will lead to a much better outlook for you and in turn a better future. You're gonna be the opposite of your mum :d

q