I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been anorexic for almost a year and then I became stuck in between anorexia and bulimia to just plain bulimia for a year and 6 months. I went all the way down to 108 pounds and then I found that I ate so much I couldn't throw up all my food anymore. It was so tiring and I ended up gaining weight, 145 pounds. Now I just don't know what to do because I tell myself that i'm going to be healthy, blah blah, this and that. Even when i'm so committed I fail. I try my hardest to eat small portions, but not until i've finished eating I realize that I just binged. I feel terrible and I have no self-esteem the next day if I don't throw it up. Nobody knows about what I am going through. They think that I got over it a long time ago. I don't know I guess I just felt like I had to say something. I had to get it out. The point is that I eat soo much and I don't even realize it until it's happened! Why is this happening?? Pls help.