a Guy Here, Self-diagnosed Bulimic, Help? Posted: 05-26-04 14:15pm
Ok so what started off as taking an
interest in the gym/ diet and exercise in
the fall of 2002 has become, I fear, an
eating distorder - mind you I was never
overweight, mesomorphic frame 5'8'', 165,
a lifetime of sports and vegetarianism
left me pretty healthy - fell to around
150 after a few months, then the 140s -
people commented on how thin I looked, and
this brought a sort of joy - I never
binged or fasted or anything like that, it
was just eliminating some less healthy
options, and spending time lifting/cardio
in addition to the usual sports and such.
During the summer however I think that
things started getting sinister - hours in
the gym, in addition to occasional morning
jogs, obsession with logging every bit of
food on fitday.Com, and as the weight kept
dropping (mid to upper 130s by now), I
thought I was so healthy. However, food
became dominating of all thoughts - id buy
things and hoard them, meticulously
measuring each portion - then the
occasional binging started in the fall,
maybe one episode a week. Id then
proceed to not eat for several hours and
exercise like a demon on an elliptical
trainer or some form of machine. Soon
the binges started happening with even
greater regularity, now its to the point
where as soon as I start eating its as if
I cant stop; and after sitting around
feeling bloated and sorry for myself, I
promise not to let it happen again, make
sure to exercise like a fiend at the next
available opportunity, as the cycle goes
on and on - I cant continue like this, as
the cycle has gotten even more vicious as
ive noticed the inevitable weight gain
from massive binges; it keeps me from
enjoying life - friends - socialising -
family (just graduated uni, now at home
and cant accomplish anything because
food/exercise dominate my thoughts) -
whats the best way to go about stepping in
the right direction and off this wheel of
pain?
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 06-01-04 01:12am
Hey hun! I think its wonderful to
actually hear from a guy for once. I
know their out there but I think guys are
typically more secretive and descrete
about it. Anyhow, how old r u? Im
18, ive been bulimic and struggled with
anorexia also for a little over 2 yrs now,
but as of now its still bulimia I have a
problem with. I am actually 32 weeks
pregnant too. Anyow, I understand your
pain. Its a viscious cycle. Once u
get into it. Its sooo hard to stop.
Have you considered seeing an eating
councler/therapist? Im starting to see
one again and it really does seem to help
me. It might help you too. We just
have to learn that we all deserve to eat
and enjoy food and just be healthy without
having to obsess. And theres more to
you then weight and looks. Im in the
process of trying to recover (which ive
cut back dramatically. Over the summer
I weighed 100 lbs and im 5'8.. Thats
when I got put in the hospital) I was down
to eating 400 calories a day, then when I
would get into my binge/purge cycles it
would happen at least 4-5 times a day.
After getting out of the hospital, I did
better, but not a whole lot. I gained
back some weight (i started out at 150lbs)
anyhow, I got up to my 'healthy weight' of
125lbs, even tho I wasnt eating healthy
still. I just stopped restricting, but
was continuing with bingeing and purging.
Anyhow, I got pregnant in oct. And
ever sence, ive cut way down. For
months I didnt purge barely at all for the
baby, now im still purging again but stil
not frequently like b4 and im trying to
quit, mostly for the baby, but im learning
to try to quit for myself. Im of
course heavier now, im about 150 but ive
gained 22 lbs from being pregnant and
hopefully will be back to 125 after the
baby. Lol sorry thats mostly
irrelevant, but I was giving u some
background of me. Anyhow, first off
maybe making a list of why you want to end
your eating disorder. How it makes u
unhappy etc. Then basically what u
have to try to do , is set up a healthy
meal plan. If u want to end bulimia,
you cant in any way restrict, which only
leads to binge/purging. I set up a
healthy meal plan of 1,800 cals a day
which I try to follow. But for guys,
its typically a little more. You can
still make it healthy choices, but u cant
cut back. Also.. If u do binge..
Whatever u do , u cant punish urself for
it..By purging, excersizing etc. I
know, thats the hard part. But it
keeps u in the cycle. If u do binge or
something...As hard as it may be, just try
to keep it in and do something
else..Eventually after eating normally for
a while, you wont have the urge to binge
anymore. Thers really no simple
answer. Its a destructive lifestyle
and so hard to put a stop to it. But
once u can , u will be such a stronger
person for it. Your soooo tiny!
Especially for a guy, remember of course
weights are supposed to be higher for
guys. Even if u can see it, your so
small! And definitly not in ur healthy
weight range. I hope u find the
strength that I know you have. You
deserve to be happy and free of this hell
hole. Do you have aol? My s/n is
skeaxryi629* o yes, and also, ive been a
vegetarian for 10 yrs* how long have u?
