Kids that young (no matter how much we love them) are real pains, they do not talk (i mean you can not have a conversation with them) & they do not read books of interest, nor watch any decent tv shows & they can't even use the computer or play decent games. That doesn't mean you don't love them & care it just means that they are still developing into "people".
Having to be alone so much with kids that age would be hard on anyone, so stop beating yourself up for what are natural feelings. You do/give them all they need & I am sure that that includes cuddles etc. You say you don't drive (if you learnt would you be able to have the car & so able to go places??). Is there anywhere you can get to on foot (a park in good weather, or shopping centre or a playgroup?) where you & the kids could go & maybe meet people (adults!! As well) - you don't have to become great friends with everyone you meet, just have aquaintances that you meet at a park or playgroup where both you & the kids can have some time out of the house, sort of away from each other & maybe with the chance of meeting someone to chat (play) with.
Also I feel that you are making things harder for yourself, you choose to dismiss people too easily(it's interesting that the two friends you mention are really not available) - do you really try to look/make friends or is it easier to just say you can't find anyone!! (i often do this myself, so please think rather than just take offense & agnore.).
The baby may respond to soft music, soft talk & cuddles or tv, the 2 year old may respond to the same things. When I can stoip yelling in frustration at my 9 year old I find that I can often get through to him & not have my blood pressure go through the roof if the louder & faster he yells the softer & more slowly I speak (while being firm!!). That is the other thing with kids that (if you can realy stick to it for long enough - the long enough being the really hard part!!) if you are consistent & mean what you say no matter what & carry through with both good & bad (rewards & punishments) they do tend to respond eventually.
Is your 2 year old on any meds for add?? Sometimes add is wrongly diagnosed (it's the in thing) either because it's "in" or to shut us parents up!! Also some meds can make things worse or have no effect (every child is different). You might check via a search engine for some alternative, natural therapies/meds that might help him.
Good luck.
