I am 29 years old and suffered much the way you seem to be sufffering. My doctor prescribed lexapro about a year ago and it has brought me substantial relief. The side effects were minimal for me, but that may not be so for everyone. Perhaps when you go to the doctor on friday you could ask him/her if lexapro might help you with your manic depression. I have found that I can actually get out of bed over the past year and have stopped watching my life pass me by while others enjoy theirs. I wish you peace and happiness, though I know those things seem unattainable right now..........

You are not a thing, you are a person & the dr is merely a mechanic paid to care for you. So if you don't want shock therapy, tell the dr to go have shock therapy herself first!! since your family are also opposed to shock therapy take one of them with you if you feel unable to stand up to your dr alone.

Just remember a dr is only a mechanic, so you are the one in charge!! There are plenty of other meds that could be tried, including natural ones (homeopathy, naturopathy, chinese herbal, minerals & vitamins!! - you could go check these areas out via a search engine & maybe see someone other than a regular dr, someone who is more intelligent & can look beyond a presciption book or a referral to someone else for shock therapy!!).

Dont give up I have gone from med to meds so many times and finally
have a good mix. Topomax, prozac, klonopin, and xanax only for panic attacks. I now live in fl. Which helped me alot. But my bio family all has
mental problems. Ive just been diagnosed with celiac sprue disease which
i would rather just be bippolar. Good luck

I think that some of these medications actually cause people to become stagnant.
I have no scientific evidence to back this theory up. Only personal experience.
I've tried a few of these meds recreationally. Such as xanax (bars and footballs), and also klonopin. And they put me in an almost catatonic state!
Where at the time that I was intoxicated on them, which was only a few days, I had no ambition to do anything and was content with lying there watching the boob tube.
I think the answer to problems like this is to develop your own motives for wellness.
If a person actually has a chem imbalance, then certain medications will help.
But too many times, doctors just throw meds at people. And it keeps the people in a state of limbo, and develops a dependance on the doctor or the meds.
While, doctors own stocks in med companies, and they write those prescriptions with this in mind alot.
To me, the world is comprised of peoples personal motives. And if you can't identify or understand a persons motives, you have no business putting trust in that person to help you with yours.
Surely you have desires of your own, you have wants and needs. But in the confusion of your life, you may not pursue those, or you may not even see the possibility to pursue those.
What I do is try and maintain the minimal amount of responsibility, and put my focus and resources into my own personal desires.
Things don't always work out. And when things go badly, I detach myself from the situation so the stress doesn't cripple me.
I know it's hard, but life isn't meant to be taken seriously because nobody wins anyway. Everyone dies sometime, so what's important is how much you enjoyed yourself while still alive.

Also, don't put any stock into being normal, or like others you percieve as being normal. Because that's all an act. Nobody is normal!
Everyone is a freak of nature in some way! The trick is to enjoy being a nuerotic mess! I know I do much of the time!