I know how you feel men can be so cruel my boyfriend of 2 years left me when I was 10 weeks pregnant because he could no longer take it and didnt want to be tied to me forever.I lost our baby 2 days ago which I think was because of all the stress I was under from him.
I wasnt going to come back on here at all because I just cannot talk aout how I feel now but I wanted to agree with you about how you can have your heart broken so easily

Really sorry about losing your baby. I know all tooo well what that feels like. How far along were you? It takes awhile to work thru that. And peoples words can make the loss sting. It's sometimes better for people not to say anything at all, except acknowledging the loss. I had so called friends say "well....At least you didn't have yrs with them and lose them" like that is supposed to somehow make it better?
Feel free to share your painful thoughts regarding your miscarriage with me....Because I do know it's a difficult thing to go through.
Cor
oh, and thanks for replying...I'm in tremendous need of support in the being used area. It feels awful, just awful! And I want it to 'go away'

I was 10 weeks and I feel so guilty now because I had said that I didnt really want the baby so now ifeel like its my fault-like god made it happen I wasnt going to have an abortion but the baby hadnt come at the right time-i feel so raw inside and im in so much pain.Thanks for your message

Do you have family close by?? I do understand the guilt part....But surely there is a part of you that knows or is willing to believe that just because you may have had a thought of not wanting the baby, it isn't why you lost it. When I lost mine, I felt it was a punishment for my sexual activity prior to marriage. I was extremely conservative, and had bounderies set that I crossed out of desiring to keep my (now ex husband) in my life. He wasn't wanting marriage, and I made compromises in order to stay involved. But eventually, after talking with other women, and researching alot of info. I began to heal. And then I was pregnant with my first born daughter....Scared to death I would lose this baby too...So I didn't want to jinx myself by getting excited. I forced myself to stay as unattached as possible until I passed the 16 week mark...That is when I lost my little boy. Then and only then did I allow myself to make plans, fantacize, hope...Dream....Imagine. And had I not lost my little boy, he was due in sept. I wouldn't have been pregnant with first born daughter.
Girl....Alllow yourself time to grieve. It is a loss, just be cautious and in control of who you talk with...In order to spare yourself the ignorant statements like I was exposed to. It will take some time, and most definately feel free to send your crying notes my way. Ok???
It has been a rough couple days for me. At times I feel so 'in control' and on top of my emotions regarding having this person I gave my heart to, destroy a part of me. Then I flip to totally losing it, once while in a store...Just going about my business, when a song came on that stabbed me!! I had to leave, had to run out....Couldn't find the doors quick enough!! I'm a strong woman, really tiny, but have an internal strength that even amazed me some time ago....But I tell ya what, this has really affected me more than I care to admit. And I don't want him to know it!! I don't want him to have the satisfaction of thinking he was 'all that'.
I wake in the middle of the night, whether from a nightmre, or just to get some water, and feel like I need to shake my head to figure out if all this is real....I'm sure many of you understand that. It is a bit comparable to grief when someone dies...The sting of reality, know what I mean???
I sure am glad to be able to talk about it, I have no family here, besides my ex husband, and beautiful girls. I grew up back east, and have been out here for 22 yrs!! Gosh, i'm old!!!
Is there much activity with this site??? Or pretty quiet??
Please continue to write, I enjoy hearing from you, and validate your feelings!!! Only someone who has experienced something we are dealing with can understand....Does the babys dad know what happened?? He is the one who stomped your heart correct???
R u on the east coast, or west?? I am on the west coast.
Til next time,
cor

A lot of men are useless. A lot of men are incapable of commitment and love. But not all of them.
The fact is that the general population, men and women, are useless.

There is one out there. At least that is what keeps me going. Just don't settle. Don't date anyone until you really, really trust them. But even then, don't blind yourself. The problem is that there are too many people out there who setttle, put up with lies and cheating, and just generally act stupid that a lot of people feel that they do not have to be faithful or honest.
If everyone would wisen up and get some self esteem, then the world would be a much better place.

Hello,
i appreciate your post...I can honestly say I had nooo idea of being lied to and used. It wasn't ever part of my exposure....
Reading your sentence about self esteem at first made me a bit uncomfortable...But I thought about it, and at this point in time anyway, don't believe it is a problem of self esteem on my part, rather the gentle, kind, giving nature I have....Trusting peoples word, because my word is something I hold as being extremely important. Unfortunately I am seeing a side of society/people I didn't see.
Thanks for your post,
cor

I was not referring to your self esteem dear.
I was simply saying how there are a lot of women and men out there that let people walk all over them either because they lack self esteem, or just don't want to take the energy to find a good relationship. It is these people that make people not bother to change and become good, honest people.

It is sometimes so easy to give up on men. And sometimes it is very necessary. I just hang on because my father and my brother are great men. They would never, ever lie or cheat. I just hope there is a man out there like them (but of no relation obviously) for me.