Actually, if he does that, he'll look more like a girl, will stop growing a beard and will never want to have sex again. What he might want to do is a vasectomy, which can be reversed. Anyway, imo, there's no point in doing that when you can do birth control with condoms and pills. If he's having sex regularly, the woman (you) can take pills and you'll never worry about kids. If he isn't steady and will have casual sex, using a condom is absolutely necessary to prevent stds (not only aids), and then he won't have to worry about kids.

Anyway, it's more up to him. I just think it's smarter to do that when he's married and decided not to have kids.

Snowangel, you say you're 15 and he's 18? Off topic, but I suggest you be careful, because you are a minor. The two of you probably don't want to encounter any legal troubles.

Ummm first of all, you shouldn't have to be the one to go on pills. I mean, more power to you if you want to, but even if you do that does not mean that you do not have to worry.
Anyway, he can get a vysectomy (i am sure I spelled that wrong) and he can get it done so that it can be reversed. He can get it done right in the doctor's office. That way if he ever does want kids then he can just get it reversed.

It can be possible to reverse a vasectomy, I think there are different ways of doing them and some are more reversible than others, but it's not always guaranteed. What he should do is freeze some sperm as well, just in case. I read today how someone has successfully used sperm that was frozen for 21 years!

In a weird way, your bf is being very responsible about having a vasectomy, if he is sure he never wants to be a father -- a lot of blokes end up making babies they had no intention of having. But he does need to understand that he is still just as susceptible to stds, and that using a condom is still a very good idea.

As I said all he has to do is get a reversible vysectomy ( and I am sure I spelled that wrong.)
if it is a reversible one then there would be no problem getting a doctor to do it. It is actually a very intelligent move if you ask me. I wish more men would be that responsible.

Well basically, has he approached a surgeon regarding this technique?
As I would be amased if they would let him have the operation.
They wil do a psychological examination on him to assess his mental state,
and at the age of 18 I doubt they would pass this, as it may be what he wants now but int he future I doubt it will stil be.
Is he scared of gettin sum1 pregnant? Because he should maybe see a counceller about this.
And get sum advice on contraception.
U should maybe find him sum help lines, or phone one yourself for advice.
And as someone else said you are a minor, be carefl in how far u go, its easy to fall in love then have sex with sum1 but u r stil very young
hope I helped

Please forgive me if I make you feel like i'm not respecting you. But I feel I have to say this. You are a 15 year old girl and even though you are physically ready to have sex and probably can perform better than other women it is not time for you to be spending your time in a bed with a guy that is not old enough to support himself. I don't want to sound like your mother but focus your energy on yourself. Sex will come and you'll be more mature to even enjoy it better. Right now there a big gap in your life that you need to concentrate on. Please wait, if you talk this over with your boyfriend and he understands, that would be a sign that he is worth it. Besides, then he wouldn't have to worry about getting you pregnant.

He probably doesn't even really realize what it is he is going to do, you can't really try to change his mind though. Talk to him about it and he'll probably reconcider what it is he is thinking of doing, he can do permenant damage and depending on shat he does may not be able to have children. He seroiosly needs to think more about the future. I'm 18 and I would never think about doing what your b/f is thinking. This is my honest thought, he just wants to have sex, lots and lots of sex, with out haveing to worry about getting anybody pregnant.

What's the big deal with this? Psychologically and physically girls mature from 1 1/2 to 3 years faster than boys, until much later in life, where they catch up and women stop altogether. There's a number of theories of this, the most common one being menstration. And like your parents knew what you were doing when you were his or her age...

Personally i've always felt as if I grew up faster mentally, then the people around me, and ironically, in school and such, i've always been the youngest in my grade. As my years have passed me by, I knew, recently, that I already hold all the answers to my life, I just need to grow with them.

I don't like to be judged by my age, but for the sake of argument, I am 15 years old. I am 5'8" and can pass for being 20. My boyfriend of 10 months is 18, and I will be 16 this august, making him a whole 2 years and 8 months older than me, and it not illegal anymore.

By the way, I don't mean to be cocky, but I bet I know more than half the people twice my age on this forum.

Oh, and to the person that made this topic, have you talked to him about marriage between you two? If you didn't, then you should. And when you do, if you want kids and he doesn't, he should respect you if you're serious about this and reconsider it when he's older.

Maybe you should wait it out and see if he eventually loses interest or if he wasn't as serious as you thought. It's easier to say you're going to do it than actually go under the knife.

first of all, the notion that girls mature faster than guys does not necessarily mean that girls are mentally/emotionally mature enough to handle having sexual relations with an older guy. When I was your age (just a few years ago), several of my girlfriends went for older guys, and were horribly misled/taken advantage of, and badly hurt as a result of it. (not to say that you personally are too immature to handle a relationship with an older guy)

girls may seem more mature, but I don't think that anyone is emotionally prepared for having sex at such a young age.




look, I know where you're coming from. I was also pretty precocious at your age (and was also one of the youngest in my grade level). I guarantee you, you will have experiences that will humble you, and will make you realize that you do not, in fact, hold all of the answers to your life, and if you are a strong, goal-oriented individual, you are going to continue to create and reinvent those answers for yourself as you move along.
Oh, and honey, when you say that you bet you know more than most people here do, i'll guarantee you that you don't. I've come to learn this myself because I used to hold the same attitude that you currently have. No amount of reading can substitute actual experience.

Something I just don't get: it's wrong for an 18 y/o boy and 15 y/o girl to be together, but not a 25 and 28 y/o? That makes absoloutly no sense. And guys don't care. They never mature. They act like 10 y/o all their life. And for the record, I am 15 and my baby's father is 18 and we don't get along because he is too .I.M.M.A.T.U.R.E!!! Hun I think your b/f is a little goofy in the head though...Lol. You don't have your "baby-making parts" taken out. Like someone else said, if the did that, he would stop growing a beard and hisvoice would probably become high pitched....Lol. I don't think he really knows what he wants and I doubt that they would ok the operation. If he is so afraid of getting someone pregnant, then he shouldn't be having sex. I know this might sound a bit hypocritive seeing the fact that I have a baby at 15, but we used protection, and though it doesn't always work, I believe it is more mature that making some rash decision on something that will affect your entire life you know?

oh, I beg to differ. I'm not to prove who's right and who's wrong, especially because there is no way to tell. We can just leave it open and let me learn for myself.

As for saying 15 year old girls aren't emotionally ready to have sex, I kind of agree, half way. I really believe that it does not entirely depend on age, instead just what age you happen to be at the time. I entirely believe it has to do with your beliefs, views, etc. On the subject of having sex. If you think of it as doing it, then maybe you won't care who you do. Or maybe one day you'll come across someone you love and get attached even though it was meant to be casual. Or maybe your whole life you wait to make love to the perfect person and then realize it was nothing special. And so on.

Oh, how I hate the whole relationship example of the same age difference at a different time. It's the same damn thing. I am aware that later on the same people have more capability to handle the same responsibilities of being in that relationship. The way I look at it is older people think teenagers are in relationships for fun and we don't know how to handle things or work them out. But sometimes you just have to be thrown into life and just see what happens.

One more thing, you think something in our ( me and the two other posters') relationships will happen because of age difference? Well, maybe something will happen, no one can guarantee eternal happiness. The same heartbreak can happen with races or far away locations or anything. And why stay away from someone just because of 3 years? Not experiencing anything because you're scare of 3 years? And so what is your heart gets broken? You should have thought of that in the first place with any relationship. Besides, pain is the beauty of knowing that you're alive.

Oh no....I stand by my statement. Guys never mature. I know a 24 y/o guy....He acts as bad as my 11 y/o brother....And my step father....He is almost worse....And the 34 y/o guy next door quit his job b/c he hates italians and now he drinks all day and smokes all night and doesn't take car fo his kids. Now some guys are decent, like my boyfriend, but are still sometimes immature. And I didn't claim I was the most mature person in the world either.....I still like to have fun and act like a kid sometimes.....And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. When I go to the movies or something, my son comes with me, so I see no harm in sometimes still acting like a kid. And you're right. My father was immature. When my mom told him she was pregnant with me, he claimed he had a vasectomy and walked away.....He doesn't even know if i'm alive or if i'm a girl. He was 42 at the time! Now if that's not immature.....And i'm not looking for an older guy either......My boyfriend is only 16......I knew that my baby's father and I wouldn't get along.....But no one intended for the condom to break.....And we are not trying to make it work for our son....That would just wreak havoc on his life later down the road......I don't even speak to him because he isn't supporting his son finacially,physically, or emotionally. He is going to college so he can play football. And that's fine. Football is *obiously* more important. Which, once again, shows his immatuity.

And don't tell me growing up without a father is no way to live. I know that. But you know what? I was better off without my father. I don't think josh needs an fool teenaged boy who thinks casual sex, beer, football, and playstation are some of the finer things in life. He doesn't need that to grow up. I didn't hjave a father and I turned out just fine....And my step-father practically dis-owned me when I became pregnant....And i'm dealing with it just fine.....His loss.....Yeah i'm sure he will hurt later down the road because his father is an ass, but he'll come out of it a stronger person and hopefully more of a man than him. And i'm not going to look for a replacement as my mom did, my boyfriend loves josh but if it ever comes down to it, I will explain that he has a father and I am not looking for another. Although he does need a father *figure* in his life.

And trust me, I know being with an older guy does not make you more mature. So don't assume that you know me. Because you don't. Not at all. And don't bother responding to this because it was just to clarify, not rouse an argument. Thank you and good day.

So a 28 year old and a 25 year old have been through the same walks of life, huh? Well, wouldn't a 15 year old and an 18 year old been through these same walks but haven't gotten as far?

You know what makes me mad? The way you stereotype everyone! You said all 18 year old guys just want p*ssy and all 15 year old girls aren't ready for this kind of relationship... Well, how do you know that? That's like saying all black people like fried chicken. Haven't you thought that maybe, nothing to do with gender, some people mature faster/more than others? Maybe i, and kissybai and snowangel, are ready for a relationship with an older guy. Even though kissybai's boyfriend isn't around anymore, she seems to be handling it very well, just like any other relationship that could have been.

Just how you say you know plenty of people who have "baggage" of whatever, or bad relationships with older people, I know different stories. In fact, I know stories from both sides. I know guys who've broken girls' hearts and the other way too. Guys can get hurt also, mind you. I knew this guy that when he was 17, got with a 15 year old, and they stayed together for 4 years and he was still a virgin at the end of that relationship when she broke up with him. My best friend's grandparents met at the strange ages of her being 14 and him being...22. He waited for her not touching another girl until she was 18, and that's when they got married. We celebrated their 59th anniversary last week.

I don't need anyone telling me that I am not a woman and I am not mature enough to handle the relationship I am in. Maybe you're the one not ready for a relationship, maybe you're the one who wants p*ssy all the time, or maybe you should stop generalizing and stereotyping and mature yourself.

imo, the three year difference doesn't quite illustrate the point as well. There are plenty of people with a 4 or 5 year age gap in between them (my own parents are 7 yrs apart), so let's use that instead. So is it alright for a 14 year old to date an 18 year old? I've seen 20 year olds hook up with 14 and 15 year old girls--i'm curious to know if you'd approve of that.


Anyways, what i'm saying is that the reason why it is less appropriate for an 18 year old to hook up with a younger teen is because that 18 year old is considered, by law, and by society as an adult. A 14 or 15 year old is still growing and developing (mentally, physically, emotionally), and is, in the eyes of society, still a child. I know that you said you don't wish to be judged by your age, but that's the way society works. At age 3, you're branded a child, at age 13, an official teenager, at age 18, an adult. We always want to be taken seriously, and we always wish we were older, so that people would respect us equally, but the thing is that they generalize us and judge us by age for a reason. As it turns out, for the most part, 15 year olds will have this mentality as opposed to that one, etc. You know, you might be the exception to the rule, but nevertheless, people have a reason for making the judgement calls they make. Why do you think they made the laws regarding statuatory rape??


No one said life is 100% fair. If you feel that you truly are a mature, capable young lady who has the misfortune of being attached to these silly generalizations people make about age--why are you fretting? If you believe otherwise, then believe it. And come on, you only have 3 more years to go before you too will be considered an adult, and taken more seriously then.




you beg to differ? You would know this because? I convinced myself that I could absorb just as much life knowledge from reading, but you know what? Book smarts are just different from street smarts--which are acquired from experience and experience alone.


By the way, i'm not too much older than you are. I'm 18 years old (and my boyfriend is 21 years old). I consider myself to be a wide-eyed kid trying to learn the ropes.

So I am not entitled to have fun because I am a mother? Is that what you are saying? Where in the hell does it say that? I don't see any harm in taking him with me....Or should I leave him home with a babysitter.....The longest I have ever been away from him was 6 hours....Because they took him after birth to moniter me.....And I would like to keep it that way. And when I say act like a kid, I still have a couple friends that come over, and we talk and laugh and dance around like idiots sometimes....Am I not allowed to do that? What you have to do is find a balance between being a teen and a mom. And I have my balance. When I act like a teen, I include him, he likes to watch movies and dance around. So I don't see the harm in it? Do you?

And as for the internet.....I use it when he is napping. What am I expected to do? Watch him while he sleeps?

And I know it would be havoc fr him not to know his father.....I want him to....But his father usn't around by choice, and I can't change that. I try to get along with him, if I didn't I would have taken him to court for child support. He won't sign the paternity papers because he is afraid I will take him to court to get child support and thjen he will have to get a job and won't be able to play football and keep his scholarship. Now that's immature. If he cared so much about college he should have thought about that before he climbed into the back of his truck with me shouldn't he? I am the one constantly trying and he doesn't do a thing, so that makes him the immature one. He is missing out.

So don't judge me. I'm not on welfare. And if I culd get a job I would, but a 15 y/o can't make much and it would basicaslly take my whole check to pay a sitter....Now what's the use in that? Nothing. So don't judge me because you don't know me.

Okay, you can't tell me what I know and what I don't know about 18 year old boys. You said all 18 year old guys are looking to get laid but you weren't. Oh! So maybe there are 18 year old guys that want something more... I'm sure there are also a lot that only want to use girls and they figure younger girls are more naive.

And I know what a stereotype is, otherwise I wouldn't talk about you stereotyping which will only make me look like an fool, which I am sure, as you are reading this think I already have. A stereotype, to clarify, is an oversimplified opinion of idea. I think you stereotyped 18 year old guys to always want some ass and stereotype young mothers to be not fit to raise a child. I would understand if you said something like, "you should watch out for older guys because I used to be a guy myself and they don't always want what you think blah blah blah." but you went right out and said it was wrong or bad like it's the unforgiven sin.

I know it's the first ammendment but you don't have to use it prove you can tell us we're wrong for loving the people that we do. I really don't know what to say about you telling kissybai that she's not a good or fit mother for acting like a child at times, atleast she admits that. She was mature enough to keep the baby, and not give it up for adoption. In my eyes, that's the biggest thing you could do. Maybe we are too young to have relations with socially considered adults but she took responsibility for it.

i've just read your posts, "help me", and sorry to say this mister, but i'm not exactly taking the exact same stance as you are. In fact, I disapprove of your personal attacking of these young ladies. Yes, you may be a guy, but you've never been a single mother. Implying that this girl isn't taking care of her baby isn't really fair, and does not prove anything, other than your willingness to viciously criticise the lifestyles of individuals who you have never met.