I don't think you are at a dead end, you know your body better than anyone else.
Mention this to your doctor, yes it may seem embarrassing but trust me they've heard much more plus that's why they are there to help you and listen to you.
Now I am going to ask you, as I have everyone else who's had a hernia repaired.
Did they put mesh in you?
If you are having another hernia operation research the complications with meshes before allowing them to put a mesh in you.
You can have the best surgeon in the world but it's the mesh that causes the problems.