Alzheimer Disease Forum - parents and children

I live with my parents (myself...my husband and my children have moved back into the family home as my parents have aged) and I am starting to believe that my father has some kind of a problem.
We moved three thousand miles...left our own lives to come back and live here...I used to run websites...had a carreer...made money for my family and did very well for myself not only in business but on a personal level. I was happy and so was my family.
A couple of months after I moved home, I started to look for a job. I thought a little part-time thing would be great...more money in the coffers and I could get out of the house a few hours a day.
That's when the trouble started.
My father told me that I absolutely must not work while I live here...that I must only wash dishes...do laundry...cook the meals...
I thought there still might be an out though and so I applied and was accepted to an adult ed prog at a local University.
Then my father informed me that would cut too much into my "duties" and that I mustn't...that I would "regret it" if I did...so I declined the acceptance. I know what "regret"means.
So here I was...stagnant...no job or schooling...so I made friends with the neighbors...I held a couple of little parties...did all the work and cleanup...noone in the house...just barbeques...something to connect with the outside world...so then my father informed me that the house is in his name and that as long as it is, I may not have any visitors on his property.

My husband works all day...as does my mother...and my kids are school age. I am an adult woman as normal as any you could meet. I'm not a degenerate...or an "fool". I have and could still hold down a job...or at the Very Least maintain normal social interractions with my friends, neighbors and extended family.

Dad never asks me to do anything for him...though we are alone together all day every day. He stays in his room (except when he is on a tear)...even when I try to put on the sort of programs he enjoys and lure him to the living room for a snack. He tells me I'm not worth the effort.
I tell him it isn't about me...and then he just tells me all I am out for is myself and that he doesn't believe anything I say...it makes no sense at all...and I'd doubt my own memory but that it has happened So Many times.
I was never close to my father growing up...he was distant at best...but he was always a good provider...a decent man. Not abusive...that I know of...but lately (he's about 70) for the past five years...things have just been unreasonable.

Once I bumped a lampshade while leaving the den, carrying my then infant daugher...the shade wobbled a bit...and the next thing I knew...my mother's arm had been broken from the impact between my daughters skull and the wall...I was on the floor...we're all only lucky that we weren't hurt worse...but now, the family will not allow it to be spoken of...as though it never happened. Two weeks ago, he cried...actualy cried...telling my mother and my husband what an awful daughter I am...how miserable I make him...do you know what the infraction was? I'd gone outside.
I' m not "allowed" to open doors...it lets too much electricity out.
Just this morning, I have had to lock myself in my parlour...put a chair in front of the door...because I commited what he seems to treat as the cardinal sin...I allowed a half a ziplock baggy of canned soup to sit in the fridge without being eaten.

Its unreasonable. I am a grown woman trying to help my own parents enjoy their golden years and I am locked in my room in fear of a rage that no baggy of soup should cause.

I don't know if I am at the right place...but I hear that sometimes when people get older...they lose their faculties and it makes themact irrationally.

I tell my mother about him...but then she just looks at him...her husband...being sweet and acting like himself and she tells me there must be something wrong with me to make him act that way. I tell my own husband and he responds the same way. Dad never, ever acts this way when there is anyone else around. The only person who knows as well as I do what is really going on is my best friend...sometimes I call her and just let her listen to him bang cabinet doors (because I don't wash them every day) or empty all the flatware back into the sink and wash it again because I am "incapable of even washing a fork right"

I may be on the wrong track but I think that there must be something...something...Very Wrong with my father.

I am not perfect...but washing forks is washing forks...and adult women should be allowed to have friends and to leave the house..and I don't think rational people act the way my father is acting.

I am locked in my room even now...and I am afraid.

Is there anything that can be done when people do this sort of thing...anything short of calling the cops. I know his doctor...I can talk to him...ge thim to maybe talk to dad.
But I don't know what to say.

Any advice would be so appreciated.