sorrypots,
Please give the counseling some time. My best friend attempted suicide 3 times as a teenager and young woman. It took her many years to tell me her horrific ordeal with being molested by a close family friend. He was like a brother to her. This caused so much anguish and pain for her. Psychologically she was really damaged. She was but a small child but blamed herself. It took years of counseling for her to reconcile these events in her head and not blame herself. My point is that it does take time. You have been deeply injured by a person that is close to you and all this time has gone by and you have never dealt with the backlash.
Sometimes the first counselor you see is not the perfect fit. If you find you are unable to talk to this counselor try a new one. It does take time to build up a relationship with any counselor. I went to counseling for issue myself and the counselor did have to cut me off at the end of the session. This can leave you emotionally raw when you leave. Ask the counselor to give you a heads up that you only have 10-15 minutes left so you can have some time to wind down and get to a "better" place mentally before leaving. Explain this to the counselor and I am sure they will do this for you.
You have taken the boldest, bravest step to saving yourself, rebuilding yourself and loving yourself. Keep going. The path is often rough and filled with difficult memories but you will come out the other side of this a whole, healed person. To continue as you are now is cheating yourself out of happiness and the ability to live fully.
Please, let me know how you are doing. You sound so much like my friend. My heart breaks to know that you suffer with this. You don't have to anymore. You can do this! Keep in touch, luv. Hugs.