Relationships and Marriage Forum - feel like everythings deteriorating :(

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Q: feel like everythings deteriorating :(

asked by: CoolGlassofH2O on February 26th, 2008

Experienced User

so this is gonna be a little long but i would love to get feedback.

2weeks ago while watching tv with my guy i noticed his personal phone lit up and a screen popped up that showed it was locked. it didnt faze me at all at the time. the next day i was curious and asked my guy "i noticed you phone was locked baby" those were the exact words i said. he txt me back and said "i did that to test you to see if you were snooping around my phones. you seem to show too much interest in them so i assume that you are since you noticed it was locked."

Shocked

i was crushed at the fact that he FELT the need to test me to see if i was snooping through his stuff just because i noticed that it was locked. i noticed a few times but until now was when i brought it up. so many emotions ran through me. i used to be able to confide in him...i lost that that day. ever since then i havent felt or acted the same towards him. he'll ask me to get his phone or charge it and i say no. he just frowns.

im scared that if i confide in him he'll just blow it up and blame me for something. thats why i dont talk to him about anything anymore. it sucks cause i do love him. he'll ask me whats wrong and i just shake my head. theres really no time to talk to him when i feel the need to because his friend always comes over and sleeps over. or he goes out with his friends right after work and comes home around 12am while im fast asleep. thats another problem. i even asked him today if he felt scared being alone with me, that if he got home i was going to nag him. he didnt respond. Mad

funny thing is that happens everytime we have a serious conversation. he'll go and hang out with his friends or bring his friend over. its annoying.
like yesterday i finally had the courage to tell him that i no longer felt that i could confide in him or trust him ever since accusing me and telling me he was testing me. he never responded and you know what he did that night? he brought over his friend. totally inconsiderate...

any positive suggestions anybody? ladies and guys alike. i want to know why hes acting like this. i just want things to be like it was before...were i would wake up and feel like i was falling in love all over again, like i felt i could trust and confide in him.

Replies(3)

Willa Weintraub

replied on February 27th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Wow, sounds like he does have something to hide. If my bf would have done that to me, I would have said "well why would you lock it if you have nothing to hide?" have you even shown signs of wanting to snoop through his things or have you actually done it? If not he sounds like he is being pretty shady. . . .

CoolGlassofH2O

replied on February 27th, 2008

Experienced User

his phone is a palm treo hes had for a year, he bought it used so it already came with some glitches to its softwear. it turns on and off, vibrates, reboots, etc all by itself, i swear its possesed sometimes!! lol the times i noticed it was locked was when he would ask me to hook it up to charge, the screen would light up and show it was locked. or if it would turn on suddenly it would show it was locked. me being curious i nicely asked him about it cause it seemed odd to me. he never did it before why now?

thats the only time i noticed that it was locked. i never go through his buisness or personal phones.if he is harmlessly flirting with her or whatever and doesnt want me to know all i can do is laugh cause im probably doing the same thing. i actually talked to yesterday about it, we talked for a good while and i explained to him that i wasnt snooping thru his stuff, that the only reason i was upset was because he felt the need to test my trust. he did say maybe he was a little too harsh in jumping to conclusions like that but that i shouldnt have felt the need to confront him about it. god guys can be a real pain when you try to explain things in detail. but anyways this is something im not gonna forge, i actually learned from this. you can only
trust someone so little. i love him and he loves me, he flirts harmlessly and so do i, but that doesnt mean I will go out and actually persue it.

CoolGlassofH2O

replied on March 2nd, 2008

Experienced User

anybody been through this?

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