Maybe remind her more to use the bathroom and praise her when she doesn't have accidents.
I wouldn't make her wear a diaper, because that would be humiliating and hopefully that isn't what your trying to do.
Take her to the store and let her pick out some panties that she really likes and tell her she can have them when she doesn't have accidents.

My mother hit me on the bottom with a hairbrush because I wet the bed. Years later we found out I had a physiological problem and needed surgery to correct. How badly do you think my mother felt about hurting me over something I couldn't help?

I'd take her to the doctor first to be sure it's nothing medical.

Don't punish her for an accident whatever you do! That causes shame and humiliation. This could be her in need of attention. As the adult, you should take her to the doctor and rule out medical issues (urinary tract infection) and keep up on reminding her to use the bathroom. Perhaps asking her every once in awhile if she has to go potty.

Kids don't wet their pants on purpose. It is accidental. Humiliating them and degrading them by making a big deal about it causes more harm.

If you're certain it's because she's just too wrapped up in what she's doing to be bothered to go to the bathroom until it's too late, I'd make her get up and go sit on the toilet for 5 minutes every half hour. Since she's being inturrupted anyway, she'll probably go when she needs to.

Also, when she does have accidents don't make a big deal of it but make her help you clean it up. Just very matter of factly have her get changed and showered and then clean up the floor with a bucket and scrub brush. She'll see it's more of a hassle than just getting up to from whatever she's doing BEFORE she has to go.

I'm sorry you're goin through this, how frusterating!

May I ask, has anything big changed in her life recently? Sometimes kids regress a little when faced with major change.

Hey there. I have been crazy busy I haven't had time to catch up to this post.

Before posting this post, I made her wear a diaper for about an hr around the house. I felt like that was shameful on my part. I felt like it was demeaning. So I took her to the potty, and I had a little talk with her. I explained that no matter what she is doing, no matter where she is at, if she has to go potty she makes sure is what she does. That she is a big girl and thats what big girls do. Ever since then, we haven't had any problems with not using the potty.

She is 1 of my 2 step daughters. I love them dearly but to be honest, they need allot of work. They are the ages of 4 and 5. They have been mislead their entire life. So the term that I would best describe the situation I am is "teaching an old dog new tricks". Everything they know is wrong. They have never had any consistence in their life and I believe that I am in their life to give that to them. They may not be my "biological children" but they are my daughters in my eyes. I just want to raise them the best way that I can. I'm new at all of this though. So I thank you for your advices.

Those poor girls, it sounds like they've had a tough life.

They're very lucky to have a mother like you.

The only means of them having a "mother figure" in their life is by me. I am the one that tucks them in at night. I am the one that reads them a bed time story. I am the one that make sure they are brushing their teeth the proper way. I am the one that makes sure they are getting the right food inside their tummy. Its me. I am their mother. Yeah, they may not call me "mom" or "mama" but I am the closest thing to a mother that they will ever have.
They do not have a relationship with their mother. Their mother is a nut case. She runs hot and cold with these little girls. She will never give them stability, she will never give them a proper life. She is so wrapped up in her own life, she forgets about her two little girls' life. They have been through so much but they are finally, getting the stability that they truly deserve.

Why don't they call you mom? You and your husband have full custody, right? Maybe they will in time. How long have you had them? Do they know it is ok to call you mom?

How have they been misled in their upbringing? Who misled them? Where was their father when this was happening?

Was she correctly potty trained at any point (with no accidents)?

This sounds like a psychological problem. It sounds as if something possibly traumatic happened to her and she is reverting.

If this is NOT the case, I highly disagree with a poster who said not the "shame" your child. At 5 years old the child is old enough, and a bit of humiliation (and not in a severe way) can be a very useful tool. Making her wear pull ups or taking away "big girl" clothes (like pretty dresses or costumes) may be the correct amount of shame to snap her back to attention. If you tell her that she can only have these things (panties, pretty dresses, special toys etc) if she behaves like a big girl and uses the potty like a big girl, she'll understand how her actions are negatively affecting her. She'll be shamed, to be sure, but for most children it's the right amount to make a connection between negative behavior and negative consequences, without seriously upsetting them.

However, as I said above, if this is psychological in nature, and not just her losing her focus, then any form of shame is definitely not the way to go, as it will only compound the problem and force her deeper into her shell.

It may also be beneficial to find a local play place that requires her to be potty trained. We used this with our 3 year old daughter, who just REFUSED to use the potty. 3 weeks ago, we took her and her older sister to IKEA, which has a little kid's place. She couldn't go in because she was still in pull ups. After a bit of a tantrum when her sister could go in and she couldn't, she pulled out a steely determination most adults would be envious of. We told her if she could go 1 week wearing panties and using the potty with zero accidents during the day, we'd take her back.

Well, we got home, she took off her pull up, tossed it, put on a pair of panties and hasn't had an accident since.