I have Manic depression, Psychosis and Scizophrenia. I have recently been diagnosed with a MASSIVE RUPTURED DISK AND "many degenerating disks" in my lower back. I take Paxil CR, Xanax and I WAS taking geodon. I had to quit taking that because it made me urinate myself and my bed every single night.
I have become more and more depressed each and every day. I have lost my job, my car is being repossessed and I am being forced to move out of my house and into my grandmothers apartment. I am 35. The only time that I am happy or something close to or resembling happy or when I dont feelk suicidal is when I am with my girlfriend or asleep. However, I feel as though all of my conditions are driving or pushing her away! I dont know what to do. I want to die all the time and yet I cant do it! If I lose her, I will lose everything!! What can I do? I have NEVER felt this depressed or alone, yet this is the first time in my life when I have been in a relationship like trhis, with someone that I TRULY and DEEPLY LOVE!!
Does she know about your problems? How does she react to it?
A lot of times, I make assumptions (and yes, even crazy conspiracy thaughts) of what others are thinking/saying about me. These are usually just my mind playing tricks on me.
Talk to her and find out what her feelings are. She might feel just as helpless as you do and would just want you to get better.
I truely hope you and your girlfriend wil remain happy together. It's hard not having someone who understands and supports you.
This is a life long "problem" and medication can only do so much...It takes a strong person not to act on one's urge to kill one self...it takes even a stronger one to understand and be supportive of you through thick and thin.
Let her know how much she means to you and how much you appreciate her support and understanding. Love is the only thing in this life worth living for...