I am so sorry you are struggling! My son wished he had friends. He is so lonely. Your friends should understand. Do you explain to them that you are just feeling out of sorts and need to be alone at times. I know this doesn't help much. Hope you feel better soon.

... how you feel. just the other day I was thinking about duct taping the door to my room closed. I love my roommates... but sometimes I need a good couple of days with no human contact.

... especially with my irretateability being through the roof at present.

My family used to get cross with me and think that I wasn't interested in spending time with them. Nowadays they just leave me be...not that they fully understand... They always feel like I am turning into an anti-social hermit, wrapped in his own world and caring for no one else. While in fact, it's totally the opposite. I tend to care waaay more about others than what I do my self and end up neglecting my self. Maybe that's why I sometimes need so much "alone time"...because I drain my self, being concerned over others the whole time.

I find it's helpful to give family and friends literature, either brochures (you can find some at the NIMH website) or books like "An unquiet mind"

just helps them to understand and know when to leave you alone.

My problem is that they won't take the time to read about what bp is, yet they seem to have plenty of time to play psychiatrist and diagnose me with something else, or minimalize the disorder, or just stand there with puzzled looks on their faces.

Ooh, that sucks.

If you are in therapy, sometimes bringing family in to a therapy session is helpful. But therapy is less common with bpd, so that doesn't really help I guess.

Well, my pdoc kind of started therapy during our last session but that's really not his specialty. Actually, all the "therapy" did was make me manic right there on the spot! It took me three bloody days to calm down. Maybe it was an experiment to find out if I needed a med adjustment--well, I got one. I hope he doesn't try therapy again because I don't think it will ever work for me.

As for bringing family, I don't think I could handle that much drama. There's already too much anxiety and drama by myself, which is one reason why I put off getting help for so long. Anyway, even though they're ignorant about bp, my family is patient with me most of the time. So, I guess it could be worse...

My family usually finds some way to blame EVERYTHING on me. They don't believe in the fact that my body is "out of whack". Even with my knees. They somehow seem to think that it is my fault that my knee caps sits too high up...

Everything has to be my fault...kind of thing.

hey pretty lady. i have been there and know how you feel. i still go there! over time, my life long friends stuck around without expectations. the other so called friends, forget them and stick with the one's who love you no matter how long you hibernate it takes time to recognize the good from the bad but don't tax yourself with that... remember, the good friends will always stick around. when u feel up to it give a call or two... try discussing what you are experiencing, if u feel comfortable w/that.

i lean way more toward the dark side, too. hang in there.

xoxo

hey guysss.
didn't get on for a while... reading all of these make me happyyy. can definitely relate to you all. feels good to have people who understand and care, i appreciate the responses!

Eh, that sucks. my family is pretty understanding for the most part, so i guess im lucky >.< hey atleast you have usss!?

Yes ... Plus, if I don't like what someone is saying, I can ignore them without them screaming "Don't you walk away from me!"

I know exactly how you feel. I just had a lay in bed all day kind of day yesterday. Generally, I feel guilty the whole time I'm doing it but I just "can't want to" when it comes to stuff like holding my own head up. Some things are just too much trouble when you've had enough and you crash and burn. Lucky me also hears voices so I try to stay physically active most of the time so I don't have to hear anything but I want to take one moment to brag/give advice. Doing this got me a free trip to happy land for 14 days between episodes of not wanting to get up. You might want to take up a new activity that is solitary. Painting, riding a bike, who knows. I wish you all the luck in the world though. This is hard and you'll need it.

oh yeah, I don't like people either. T

Hey dude,

Im really sorry your like this i just wish there was someway we could help you bro

Peace

Thanks alot. ktthefreak is right. It feels good for someone to understand and care. Yeah, Peace. Great sign off. I love that word.

totally understand. I also don't like people. never have, actually, and am a bad actress when I have to pretend.
yeah, exercise is great, but getting yourself to do it is hard when you don't want to get out of bed like I did before I started a low dose of medication.
we know how you feel and you don't have to pretend here. we want to hear it.

If I have received a blessing it's how to talk to people without actually having to meet anyone. I can totallly relate to being a bad actress, but have you ever thought to ask someone who was with you how you did? I have. I'm bold. Can't hurt, degrade, or embarrass any further than the things in your head choose to torment you with. My doctor recently put me on Xanax, but that doesn't exacxtly have me springing out of bed in the morning either. My point is that most of our problem is in our head and just to find out that you don't make the spectacle of yourself that you think you do could make alot of difference in your self-esteem. Let me go back to GOD DON'T MAKE NO JUNK! If you ever need that SHOT IN THE ARMand I can be of any assistance, I may not be on the top of alot of resume lists but I do know how to care for my fellowman without much coaching, and as strong as I think I am, there are just some things you can't pull off real smooth byourself. I pray that we all receive relief with Godspeed. I already said I liked this saying, I'm just a hippy at heart.

Peace

Hell Yeah. i am SOOOOO glad I found this site. I don't feel so......left out anymore.
I've been feeling pretty screwed up lately. My cycles have been speeding up really bad lately. (lot of downtime) I have pretty much just stopped talking to people for a couple weeks, but I'm so lonely. I seem to lose friends everytime I talk to someone. I always want to get in a fight at the drop of a pin.

This really makes me realize how much I hate my life, but it helps knowing someone will read this, and maybe even care.
You guys all rock.