Sorry if this is in the wrong place, wasn't sure where to put it. I don't even know what I'm expecting from this, but here goes.
This has been plaguing on my mind for the last year and a bit, and I can't understand why. There's this guy I met in September 2006, he was 28 and worked in a computer shop near my house. Anyway he came over a couple times for my PC and stuff and I got his msn and we spoke loads and kinda flirted over the internet and when he came to my house things would start to happen. It started off gradually, just a kiss, bit of foreplay etc and eventually led to sex in the back of his shop, and on occasion after that we'd have sex at my house or his. It didn't happen loads, maybe 10 times in total, I dunno, the lst time being last April.
So my problem is this: for a while, I haven't been able to get him out of my head! To be honest I hardly know him, I jjust sort of felt a connection even when I first met him. It's hard to explain. I just always think of the great times we had, and he has a girlfriend and has been with her for a long time and it makes me sad to think of them together. They're living together now, and he;s moved away and I haven't seen him since last June and I know I shold let go and I really want to i just dunno how. I went with another guy a few weeks ago and I forgot about him slightly then, but now it's back and I find that when I'm with another guy it's not so bad. I just don't understand why I'm so obsessed with him!! It annoys me so much. There's so many reasons why it can never be. The age gap, the girlfriend, the fact that he lives about 100 miles away now, and I know we can't ever have a relationship or anything, I just can't get him out of my head. What can I do???? Do you think I should tell him all this?
No, don't tell him. Some things are better left to die a natural death in the back of your mind. It *will* go, eventually but not before you go through a phase of perhaps feeling angry with him for being so casual with your feelings, moving away, being with his girlfriend when he could be with you etc.
Perhaps your life is a little devoid of romance and excitement at the moment and that is why you are dwelling on him. Go out and join a gym or whatever takes your fancy, but get your life back.
I won't do that if I am you what good does it makes? But if you think that it is 'burdening you' and you need to let it out and willing to bare all that comes with it like his girlfriend were to find out about it and they break-up then it's entirely up to you besides did he find you? It only shows that he didn't think of you, hope I don't sound so harsh on you and believe me I don't have any intention to it's just my humble opinion but the decision is in your hand, good luck and take care - Hart74
My name is Jenna and I am eighteen years old. There's this guy that I am madly in love with, literally to the point of obsession. We're not together, but we used to date; we were together for about seven months. We were each other's first everything. We shared so many things, and I think of that point in my life as the brightest time I've ever experienced. I have had other boyfriends, but as I'm sure is obvious, none of them were like Kale. We were completely inseparable. But, as every couple does, we started having arguments, about little petty things that don't even matter. And I, being the way I am with my terrible temper, made a rash decision one night to break up with Kale. That was ten months ago, and I still feel the heartbreak as if it happened yesterday. And now I just absolutely cannot get over him. Since the day we broke up, I have obsessively called/texted him, cried, begged, pleaded, done everything I can. He won't take me back now and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel like there's a huge hole in my chest that I just can't fulfill. I know he still cares about me, still loves me even, but he won't take me back and he always keeps me at a safe distance. I have literally tried everything I can think of to try and get over him: I've been to multiple psychiatrists, tried multiple different prescription drugs, I've tried moving on and dating other people, I've even tried moving two hours away just to get away from him. Nothing works. I always, always come crawling back. I'm absolutely miserable. And through an odd turn of events, I am now living with him. Sometimes it makes me happy, but sometimes he really does treat me like total crap and yet, it never seems to be enough to make my head click and realize I don't need him. I know I deserve better. I know I could get other guys if I wanted them, I just don't want them. Many times I have threatened to leave, many times I have left, but I always end up right back where I started. I keep so much obligation to him, where he keeps none for me. He does whatever he pleases, whereas my life revolves around him. I've pushed all my friends away, and most of my family, all because of Kale. I am so unhappy but then again when I leave all I can do is think about Kale, Kale, Kale, so much that I can't even concentrate on anything else. I have never encountered a situation where someone has been so obsessive about someone else the way I am to him. It has gotten so bad that I have tried to commit suicide more than once. I don't know where else to turn. I don't know what else to do. No matter what I do, I always end up coming back to him. I need help.
I can tell you that I have been in the exact same position that you are in right now. It says that you wrote it in February so I hope things have gotten better. If not, let me be clear, what I am about to say comes from the heart, from a person who went through exactly what you went through & if I had someone tell me this things I could've saved myself a ton of trouble. You need, need, need to move away from Kale, & cut all communication. Yes, all you'll do is think about him. Yes, you'll probably see him in everything and everywhere. But the only way to move on is by literally moving away & trying your very hardest to forget him. IT WILL NOT BE EASY, at all!!!! but it is POSSIBLE!!!! i am not sure if you are a believer, and if you are not please know i am not trying to shove this down your throat, but once i broke up with my "obsession" I gave my life solemnly to God. He became my obsession and He is the right person to be obsessed about. He will always love you and will always be there for you. I also recommend become a member of a strong youth group were you can speak to youth leaders who can direct you & guide you the right way to go. Get involved in school, activities, get a job or two (that really helped me!), meet new friends and i PROMISE you, you'll move on, forget him, enjoy life and be free! please know that this is harming your health, mental and spiritual and you need to do what's best for you!!! i dont even know you but i love you because i know the pain you are in but please know there is hope!
DO not conntact him. Leave it be. If he wanted you he would of made that happen. Sounds like you were nothing but a booty call!!! All girls have to go through it,so we can see who the best man is for us in the end.