I take it you are a male and asking if you should get involved wiht the person who needsa friend. That is totally up to you, depending on the type of person you are. I could not live with myself knowing there was someone out there who needed a friend, yet, I was afraid they'd get attached to me. A simple phone call could start. You might tell her your folks were talking and you heard she felt she needed someone to talk too. You might also in that conversation let her know you are not looking for a relationship, just trying to make new friends. Maybe she'd like to hang out or just talk. Its not like you are asking her to the prom...............You do need to reassure her, that you are not looking for a girlfriend......that way she will understand form the get go....If yo ufeel she needs medical help, suggest the mental helath facility, there are counselors there who can talk to her andhelp as well. Its up to you............the ball is in your court. You cna either play ball and be a sport....or sit in the bleachers and wonder if you really could have made a difference and she might have turned out ot be a great friend. Just cause there are those of us with problems....depression etc, we still make wonderful friends......and stay unattached!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes I am a male and she does go to a metal health facility, I assume that its either not working out for her or the shrink has recommended her finding a friend.

She currently lives with her grandma. She does not have any friends and feels left out as well as that no one wants her.

You seeI don't want any repeats with what happend with the girl in grade 11. It was a very bad experience that I wish didn't happen or if it still did to have happend differnt.

Right now they want me to make her feel wanted and special. To make her stop thinking that she is a no body and that no one will ever want her. However, we are now dealing with someone who has real problems, mental problems, not these fake teen drama's. I don't know how she or anyone in general would take it, right? It would be nice to have another friend, especially one that I used to go to school with many many years ago. I don't remember many friends from more then 7 years ago.

The one thing that really really worries me is that she is going to end up in the end being some sort of psyco path. As well as saying something to her that could potentially get her in trouble from her astranged mother.

Now I'm not saying shes going to turn into a psycopath, I dunno what could happen. I don't know if she isnt one yet.

I have not seen this girl in years, I barely remember what she looks like.

Honestly, I'd like to help out this girl if I can. I just don't exactly what I will be involved with. I don't know what could happen. I don't know if I could make things better either because I can't or because she does fall for me and she ends up getting hurt in the end.

Like right now its not games or anything. Were talking about the human mind and being there for this person to realte to and be buds and help her get onto the road of recovery.

If we get reacquainted then I could try to help her out.

Now I could end up helping her out by being a friend to her. Now she see's a shrink, and the shrink is not really doing much for her. So by me being a friend I could probably help her out of that depressed mental state of mind. She feels that she's not wanted by anyone, only thatr her grandma cares about her. So maybe by being a friend to her I could make her feel accepted.

However, I could just end up getting involved in something that I wish I hadn't in the end. I don't know what she could tell me. She ran away for a while not too long ago. She could of been involved in prostitution and heavy drug abuse. Or she could have been involved in some sort of crime scene. I could also be telling her things, thinking I am helping her out, and in the end making things worse. All I could know in the end she could commit suicide, which he has said she might do. Like I don't want to let someone else's coffin rest on my conscience. Thats the last thing I want.

However, I have been through 2 situation with these 2 girls wating to hook up with. The 1st time it happend is what is some what realted. The chick had no friends what so ever. My teacher put her in my group and I was nice to her, she also helped me out in english class since I was having some hard time with that teacher, so me being a nice person I was to her. She got some sort of facination over me and was like stalking me. Everyone thought it was cute. She was a nice girl, easy to talk to and helped me out in english class which I appreciated. My group and I gave her our friendship; however, from me she wanted more.

So I don't want to end up in the same predicament. I don't want to try to help
someone out, thinking I am helping them by being a friend and there for them. And then in the end resulting in her having some sort of facination on me, just like the other girl did, and then not being able to say be with me have her go do something stupid like OD on something or try to kill herself because I don't want to date her.

You see what really worries me is the state of mind that she's in. I also don't know how she is going to take it.

Really the best thing I've found helps is listening to some music. Usually music by Eminem, D12, older 50 Cent, Obie Trice, some G-Unit, some Lloyd Banks, some Tony Yayo, Boddies by Drowning Pools, some Nickleback.

I'm comfortable to a certain extent. Knowing what I know right I'm comfortable. Its what I might find out that kinda scares me.

I would really like to help her out, her grandma is always trying to get my mom a job inside the police station where she works. So I would like to help her granddaughter out not only as a token of appreciation for trying but also because I did go through my own depression type phase. And if I really had someone there for me I could have been out of it way sooner. I had to finish high school get into college, pass my last portion of my drivers test (here in ontario, canada we do in 3 stages and I had difficulties passing the second stage but passing the last stage had a toll on me), finding a new stable part time job as well as having to worry about graduating or not.

So looking back at my experience, I would like to help someone else going through similar things out.

But I can't really be a shrink for her. I can only be a friend, and offer some advice and just talk about her problems.

She lives with her grandma. I believe she does go to school, and your rihgt it's possible that she does have friends and the grandma just doesn't really know much about her life outside of the home and the problems. However, the way there are talking about it, it seems that she doesn't have any friends at all from school. But no ones to say she doesn't have some friends that are like drug dealers or people of that nature.

I remember one of my friends turned to drugs alot when his parents were going threw a miserable divorce. He was hanging out with the wrong crowd and got himself mixed up with different kinds of drugs and alcohol. Now I'm not saying this girl is doing the same but tts possible that she could be doing the same

LIke I said before...............lay everything out on hte line when you first meet this girl.....tell her you ARE NOT LOOKING FOR A REALTIONSHIP...you only need a good friend. Its not gaonn hurt for you to talk to her. Just don't try to play shrink. Listen to waht she has to say. The past is what it is.....the past. What someone does in their past has nothing to do with how we are treated or how we will treat them.....at least not in my book. There is nothing wrong wiht people being friends. If you feel uncomfortable from the beginning, then you have legit excuses to shy away............your education being most important. I am very proud of you for continuing your education!

I love the fact you have thought this through so much and asked for other opinions (here). You are outstandingly considerate and caring. I really admire that.

Sometimes we can 'think' too much ;0)
I agree with fairy*godmother. Just say (early on) you're not looking for a relationship but looking to meet some new friends. Why not suggest the two of you go to a sociable place together - so that you can BOTH meet new and uplifting people. That takes the onus away from you. Invite a couple of your mates along as well.

Show her a way to being a little more light hearted. Ban her from speaking in a negative way. do something funny every time she does it so that she laughs (cancelling out the negativity of whatever she's just said)...

And yes, by all means, keep a watching eye on how things progress. Read any early warnign signs and gently steer another way if that happens. Am sure you can do this without 'abandoning' her.

I really like that you see that. Thats why I posted here for other people opinions. You see there was a time where I wanted to say something to my cousin about her husband and everyone told me not to get involved. Thats why I posted. As well as thought it through because of past experiences.



I agree with you that we could overthink things at times. But sometimes in the long run its better cause it could prepare you for the worst. Am I not correct?

Honestly, I'm not sure how to tell her that. Honestly, I can't tell "Listen I'm here to be a friend for you not a boyfriend"



I can do that. And thats what they want me to do, to show her how to start thinking positive and to get her head on straigh and that she doesn't have all these negative thoughts in her mind as well as having a friend and not having to see a shrink all the time.



I'm actually good looking out for signs from my previous experiences.

The whole Girlfriend Boyfriend thing may never even come up!

Good luck with it - do share how it goes....

Gx