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Q: The Legal Reality of GLBT Relationships
asked by: homerx on February 22nd, 2008
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WHAT MAKES A FAMILY? Is it a combination of marriage and genetics or is it more simply a group of people who love and care for each other? Unfortunately, our society doesn't define family very well. However, while we as a society, identify family in a number of ways, the important question for the GLBT community is, 'What legally constitutes a family?' Minnesota enjoys a progressive legacy, but the state neither recognizes marriage for same-sex couples nor offers civil unions or domestic partnership benefits.

Although gay and lesbian persons form committed relationships, purchase property, and raise children together, when these couples end their relationships, the law is silent; in the eyes of the law, they are actually considered strangers to each other. For instance, the law is unimpressed that you gave up a career to be a stay-at-home parent while your partner spent years acquiring thousands of dollars in a 401(k) for a retirement intended for the two of you to share together. It takes empathy to recognize what two people have formed when creating an intimate relationship, purchasing property, and raising children together, but far from empathizing with an individual's plight, the law is rational and unbiased.

As a result, attorneys are taking advantage of the law's rationality and logic to construct legal protections for GLBT couples. The most common model is the Domestic Partnership Agreement (DPA). Similar to pre-nuptial agreements, DPAs are essentially contracts between the two individuals. They can create and clarify property rights and financial responsibilities between the two at any time during the relationship.

DPAs have an essential protective effect that, in the event of a separation, the parties are able to invoke the mutually agreed upon contract to resolve a dispute. Thus, the parties can determine what will happen should their partnership dissolve before the relationship actually ends.

Without an express agreement between the parties, a court must infer the intent of the parties and attempt to produce an equitable outcome for both parties. The logic of the law will likely only provide an equitable outcome for the titleholder of the property, while limiting the financial responsibility of one partner to another. The law rarely recognizes a financial responsibility between strangers. There are countless tragic stories of ended relationships that have left people in financial ruin. Some advance planning to preserve the strength of your relationship may help lessen the tension that arises from this type of difficult circumstances.
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marvel
replied on February 27th, 2008
Supporter
Fortunately, Canada openly recognizes same-sex couples legally. Though it's not outright called "gay marriage", same-sex civil unions are granted many of the same legal benefits of hetero marriage. There are still fights about the 'traditional definition' of marriage, and we have our fair shair of crazy Christian fundamentalists who continute to challenge the reality of same-sex civil unions in Canada.

I agree that homosexuals should be recognized as civilly united. Marriage, however, I believe is more of a religious rite than anything. If a certain religious institution disagrees with same-sex marriage and wont' grant them... that's their prerogative. My concern isn't necessarily with the religious aspect of gay marriage, but the legal aspect. I don't care what it's called, as long as both same-sex civil unions and heterosexual marriage carry equal weight under the law. We deserve to be protected by our government.

As for what makes a family? I grew up Catholic, so 'traditional definition of marriage' was drilled into my head. It is under this definition that a real 'family' can flourish. I was also, however the son of a single mother who was raising four kids. So all through my life, my family was never viewed as a 'traditional family'. This influenced my views of 'traditional family' life. I found that a good portion of 'traditional families' were very dysfunctional, abusive, and 'showy', but were nonetheless TRADITIONAL becuase they had a mommy and a daddy who decided to raise their kids catholic. I quickly learned that unconditional love is what constituted family, regardless of genetics or sexuality or race. Screw the 'traditional definition of marriage'. I'm confident that this unconditional love will eventually prevail. People will see how damaging and polarising the 'traditional' definition really is.
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Roberta777
replied on February 27th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Good Information
Homer and Marvel.

Just have to keep fighting for what is right. DPA's seem like a solid way to protect yourself. Let's face it, when the tough gets tough, some people bail out.

My friends Don and John had a beautiful home together. But, when Don died, his mother came in and took everything they owned together. Pretty much threw John under the bus. Took him years to recover. He now has his own home. For awhile, he lived in Florida, and now lives in Texas. He is still looking to meet somebody he can love as much as he loved Don. They really were a beautiful couple who loved each other.

In the scheme of things, if people love each other, they love each other. It is only their hearts that quicken with joy when they are with the person they love. Nobody has the right to take that away from them.
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homerx
replied on February 27th, 2008
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Re: Good Information
Roberta777 wrote:
Homer and Marvel.

Just have to keep fighting for what is right. DPA's seem like a solid way to protect yourself. Let's face it, when the tough gets tough, some people bail out.

My friends Don and John had a beautiful home together. But, when Don died, his mother came in and took everything they owned together. Pretty much threw John under the bus. Took him years to recover. He now has his own home. For awhile, he lived in Florida, and now lives in Texas. He is still looking to meet somebody he can love as much as he loved Don. They really were a beautiful couple who loved each other.

In the scheme of things, if people love each other, they love each other. It is only their hearts that quicken with joy when they are with the person they love. Nobody has the right to take that away from them.


You are a wonderful person! I always agree with you!
What you were saying about your friends Don and John is all 2 familiar a story. That is why Ricky and I have everything taken care of in wills and our cars and home are in both our names. My mother would have been more than happy to take everything away from Ricky if I were to pass away. She and my brother both...sad ...so yes, all gay couples need to make sure all there wills are in order. Cross your Ts and dot your Is...especially in places like Texas! Neutral
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Roberta777
replied on February 27th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
That is Right Homer
Somehow, I think it is the mother in these cases who feels that she is not as loved as the man you fall in love with. That competition thing. Then the need to hurt and get even with the only way they know how to. Property, money, the final seperation of the earthly goods.

But, doesn't it say when you marry, you leave your father and your mother and now belong to your spouse? Who is to say that we have to be so ignorant and on the other hand rightous, that we can possibly even begin to understand what that means? I know, it tells me, you have your life in front of you, if you find love, it is time to leave your parent's home. It is now your life.

And a spouse? A partner in marriage. Plain and simple. It is time to recognize same sex unions between partners who have made the commitment to be together.
yes
Let all the other judgemental people go to bed tonight angry, uptight and without a clue to what love and commitment mean to people other than themselves in their closed little world. Every single other person on this planet has the same rights to find love and happiness. Laughing

Love,

Bobbie
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literarypractice
replied on March 8th, 2009
Experienced User
It's a sad state of affairs
I don't know what to say. Our society still has a strong puritanical streak, though most people aren't religious in any kind of traditional way. Maybe one day these issues won't be issues. I think that will happen in time. Who knows exactly when?
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diamondsz
replied on March 17th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
What they are trying to fight when they say marriage, is there so called "biology" and procreation.

What they forgot or left out, is how many of these people truly love each and how adopting a kid never stopped anything. They also forgot that we are biological being living in a man made world and forgot single parents, infertile couples and the elderly.

Its fear, its all it is, guys are worried they won't their romp tommorrow cause that girl they like is gay, type of stuff. It just goes to show the ignoranc of people and even though we have "gay marriage" here I will still fight for everyone to have an equal oppurtunity to it.
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homerx
replied on November 12th, 2009
Moderator
thank you...
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W0LF
replied on November 13th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy (online)
What makes a family? In the eyes of the law, society does. They are the gatekeepers of how we collectively define things like marriage, heir, responsibility and survivor, in the eyes of the law. There are many good placebos that will let Gays and Transsexual function in the laws of our society but people don't want to function, they want to participate, be members of civilization, not witnesses. It is unlikely that we will ever form a majority in the world, so it seems we have no choice but to rely on others to legitimize us. It seems only fair, every minority in our society shares the same challenge. If we want to be treated as equals we cannot seize equality. To get to the next stage in this we have to bring everyone along with us. It's not enough for us just to fight for our rights, we have to be fighting for their respect.
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