Wow.... I thought it was just PMS in my case o.o
Seriously, not kidding here. I was supposed to get my second shot in december but didn't due to not having the prescription with me, and it didn't really matter. So I've been off it since then.
A week or so ago my breasts started getting tender and it felt kind of like I could feel my body again... It was almost refreshing. My sex drive has increased, etc. I was in a wicked good mood all week long, until yesterday (friday). I called my parents because I've been wanting to all week, and the conversation really depressed me. A, my mom wouldn't stop harping on "why won't your gay friend turn straight and marry you?" and B, there was some mysterious bill from the cell phone company that may or may not be real but would be my fault if it was real.
So it was like this switch got flipped in my head and I was really depressed afterwards. It seemed like I could have cried if I wanted to. I wrote my parents and email saying I was really uncomfortable with what they'd been saying on the phone etc, and then because I was depressed I had insomnia and didn't want to go to bed.
When I'm depressed, I don't want tomorrow to come. Like not literally as in I want to die or anything, but more like I don't want any of the consequences to happen. If I stay awake, things stay in stasis, or so it feels. Going to bed means I'm not distracted and I'm admitting and letting tomorrow come. I also had cramps and just felt like crap mentally and physically.
I finally went to bed at 1:40 AM. Woke up today, and I'm fine. I'm not like, amazingly happy but I'm not depressed either. My worries of last night don't seem as big. I also thankfully didn't start my period. I have the divacup but I kinda don't want to use it. I just want some tampons or even pads.
So in the end... once my paycheck comes, I'm buying that next dose!!! This is RIDICULOUS. I feel like I'm insane. My mom does have PMDD or whatever the serious version of PMS is and she got on medication in college for it, and has been taking it her whole life and I didn't know until recently.
It may be that I've always been like this before my periods and just never noticed because it happened every single month, but since I had a 3 month break due to Depo now I'm noticing how psychotic I get.