I started dating this guy about 3 months
ago. In the begining he was constantly in
contact with me. He told me he is Bipolar
Manic and I am his first girlfreind he has
ever had. He is 30 urs. old and I'm 34.
Lately he's been sort of distant. Don't
reply to my to my text messages and
doesn't call me as often. He say's he
doesn't call me as often because he lives
an uneventful life and doesn't know what
to say to me. We both live on our own and
see eachother on the weekends. When I'm
over at his place, he sleeps alot. I
really like this guy and he says he loves
me. He's great with me when we are
together. I haven't been in a relationship
in 3 years and now that I met someone that
I really like, all I ask is that he keeps
my attention and my focus on him. I don't
want to stray and find affection elsewhere
and hurt him. Is this part of side
effects of his meds...sleeping alot,
distant or non responsive?
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 02-21-08 13:04pm
First of all, it's generally better to say
"I'm dating someone who has bipolar
disorder" then "I am dating a bipolar" or
"I am dating a manic." The person more
important than the disease. Like, you
wouldn't say, "I'm dating a cancer" would
you? Just to let you know.
But really, you've only been dating three
months, and it isn't that great. Why are
you still with him? He's not replying, not
calling....
If you really like him and think you
should stick it out, maybe you think
you're in love or you see some sort of
future, then yes these behaviors could be
(but aren't necessarily) from his
disorder. I'd ask him! It's a fairly young
relationship and there's no way to tell if
he is acting this way because of his
disorder or because, well, he's not all
that interested.
If he's in a depressive state, sleeping a
lot is common as well as a lack of
interest (generally in life) and that
could be causing this behavior. You need
to talk to him to find out.
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VD
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 7
Posted: 02-21-08 13:29pm
Thank you for responding. I didn't think I
addressed that I had said" I'm dating a
bipolar". He did tell me that he has this
illness. We talked over the weekend and I
did mention to him that maybe I'm not the
one for him. He said that I am the one for
him because when he's not with me he is
sad and when he's with me he is happy. I
don't understand the distance thru out the
week when we are not together. I thought
maybe doing more things with him, like a
comedy show, concert, maybe go out
dancing. He has never experienced any of
this. He has one friend that he hangs out
with alot and I beleive that's his only
real friend that he has in his life. I
usually live a private life when i date
men unless im serious about someone. For
the first time in a long time I actually
to like to this guy and started bringing
him around my friends for dinner get
togethers with their significant others.
He seems to have fun when we do things
like that. I really would like to show him
that there is more to life then moping
around the house waiting for death as what
"he says".
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 02-21-08 13:57pm
That's fine, I just thought I'd point it
out because some people aren't aware of
the language issues.
But here's what you need to ask yourself-
if he the right one for you?
I mean, just because you aren't his
boyfriend doesn't mean you can't be his
friend and still support him, you know?
Just food for thought. Of course you are
the only one that can determine if your
relationship is worth it.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 02-21-08 13:59pm
I was going to add-
YOU can't fix him. You can't treat him.
The most you can do is make sure he is
getting good professional care. It sounds
at the moment like he isn't. Even the best
relationship in the world with the most
loving, caring woman wouldn't bring him
out of his depression right now, he needs
medication. And if he's on medication, he
needs to get it adjusted.
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VD
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2008 Posts: 7
Posted: 02-21-08 14:52pm
He does get help and take meds daily. He
just recently spoke to his therapist and
asked to have his meds adjusted-lower
dose. He says that this would give him
more energy and not be so tired all the
time. I plan on seeing him on Friday and i
guess i will tell if his attitudeis
different. I have thought him being the
one for me time after time. He lives a
calm life don't have much action going on
and i know that I need to slow down in
life and settle down with someone. I would
like to think that he is the one for me. I
guess time will only tell.
