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WolfyLady
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Boyfriend lost desire for sex
Posted: 02-20-08 17:45pm
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Ok heres the thing.. My current boyfriend
was my first.. and well we use to have fun
alot.. experiment stuff like that.. but
now not really i suggest stuff and hes
kinda stand offish.. and after.. he loses
all desire to do anything else.. am i
doing something wrong or.. well does he
just not want me anymore? i'm confused and
well shy i dont have much experience.. and
i kinda want to find something to spice
things up.. we have talked about a
threesome before but.. well i broke down
in tears every time thinking about him
with someone else or myself being with
anyone else..I know he got really excited
about it cause well that was the first
time in over a year we had had sex more
then once. Any suggestions?
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bakin_april
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Posted: 02-20-08 17:52pm
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The best thing you can do is communicate.
Come out and ask him what's going on in a
nonconfrontational way. You'll drive
yourself crazy playing the guessing game.
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WolfyLady
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Posted: 02-20-08 17:57pm
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Yea it already is.. stupid me i'm actually
in tears.. I miss how things use to be..
but it seems hes so distant.. I mean after
he literally wont touch me he sits across
the room from me always.. and seems offish
when i want a hug or something... well
thats one of our main problems.. i'm
extremely shy always have been i kinda
have a problem talking to him especially
about sex.. i mean i do fine online but in
person its difficult for me or with anyone
actually.. i always worry i'm not good
enough or that i will hurt his feelings if
i say well things arent that great i want
something alittle more but i do want to
share it with him no one else.. it
actually made me cry when he got so
excited with the prospects of having the
threesome..
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bakin_april
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Posted: 02-20-08 18:13pm
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Please don't feel pressured to do a
threesome. There would probably be lots
of fallout from it and you'd be the one
suffering.
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WolfyLady
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Posted: 02-20-08 18:20pm
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We've pretty much dropped it but since
things kinda cooled off alittle though
things have always kinda been that way..
we use to have sex twice a night and he
was still kinda stand offish now its just
once.. soemtimes i wonder if its that or
hes just that way
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Galaxy
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Posted: 02-20-08 18:38pm
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Once a night? What are you complaining
about, exactly? 
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WolfyLady
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Posted: 02-20-08 18:43pm
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because its not once a night.. its one
time once a week.. sometimes 2 or 3 weeks
in between depending on his schedule..
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Galaxy
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Posted: 02-20-08 18:53pm
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Well, I suppose people will tell you that
this happens eventually in relationships
as they settle into a routine but like
you, I would not be happy with this state
of affairs. More than anything I would
not like the distance that is emerging
between you. It seems you are not even
properly communicating. You will need to
have a heart to heart with him because he
is probably feeling just as concerned
about things as you are. Perhaps you are
reaching the end of the road with this or
perhaps you just need to iron out some
misunderstanding ... but you need to talk.
Ideas about threesomes are just
distractions - this will not get at the
root of the problem and, as others have
said, do not find yourself yielding to
pressure to do something you don't want to
do as it would only be a short term fix at
best.
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WolfyLady
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Posted: 02-20-08 18:58pm
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i dont know if he is or not.. and yes we
do have alot of communication problems.. i
know i need to talk to him about my
concerns i just dont want to hurt his
feelings and its just so hard i dont know
why..but i will get it out.. i know he
says hes still attracted to me.. but.. i
just not sure anymore considering.. and
i'm not going to yield to it i just cant
stand the idea.. and if it causes an end
to things well maybe its for the best
anyways.. thanks for the advice i will
suck it up and talk to him tonight..
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Galaxy
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Posted: 02-20-08 19:06pm
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Good luck and let us know how it goes!
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WolfyLady
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Posted: 02-20-08 19:09pm
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thanks.. i will.. i just hope he takes it
well.. i mean i'm sure there are things we
can do to spice things up without bringing
in another person.. or maybe we just need
to get away try not having sex for one
night and see if we can still have fun
together without it we did it before and
actually the day was awesome..
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Galaxy
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Posted: 02-20-08 19:17pm
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Yes, it did cross my mind that maybe he is
feeling under pressure to perform, or that
you only want him for sex ... you know the
sort of thing. Try telling him how much
you value him as a friend and companion
and start doing some fun things together.
Don't look for sex at the end of the night
and try giving him hugs that don' t lead
to lovemaking.
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WolfyLady
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Posted: 02-21-08 07:14am
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No thats what i want more then anything to
just get out do stuff but he doesnt seem
to want to.. i mean he took a week off
back in august and i wanted to go back up
to the spot we went the year before target
shooting.. we watched the sunset together
and actually talked i mean there was
making out and cuddling but no pressure
for anything and it was great.. but sadly
where we went caught fire and they closed
the whole park thing down it sucked... And
i do tell him how much he means to me
every time.. how i care about him.. i just
not sure how he feels anymore and honestly
i'm terrified to find out.. i know a few
people have mentioned hes probably
cheating cause well we see eachother so
little..
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