i know this is a personal opinion, and to those 15 yr olds out there who have babies this is not a hate on you topic, just an opinion i have, and am curious to know what others think too.
Personally, i do not feel this is a good idea.
1: 15 yr olds are still children themselves, i dont care how hard they argue this, your still a child at 15. There is no physical or mature way they could be capable of raising a child, the age to get a job is 16 so where would they get money to support a baby??
2: i feel that 15 yr olds who get pregnant kind of only feel its a cool thing to have, like a fashion bag or something, their facinated with the idea of having a baby of being pregnant but dont pay attention or fully listen to certain things they should be doing things that could possibly go wrong through pregnancy, what they need, expenses for the baby..their living only for being pregnant right now and not very concerned about other IMPORTANT things.
3: some still smoke while pregnant [not to say adults dont too sometimes] I have heard 15 yr olds say, its ok to smoke while pregnant theres no effect and i can still smoke marijuana while pregnant too because theres no harm in it and cant effect the baby. WRONG!!! if your still smoking while pregnant stop! thats the most stupidest thing you could ever do!
You suffocating the baby, the tar is eating away at the placenta and you can have miscarriages or birth defects.
Sure some dont believe in abortion, you dont always have to abort to not be a parent at 15, you can have the baby and put him or her up for adoption, you have so much more ahead of you. Having a baby isnt like buying a hand bag theres complications sometimes and things that as a 15 yr old your not 100% listening to..i just dont feel that a 15 yr old child is capable of having a child it doesnt make sense a child having a child...thats my opinion, id like to hear yours, its not a judgmentle thing on 15 yr olds just an opinion and thought i had.
Personally, i do not feel this is a good idea.
1: 15 yr olds are still children themselves, i dont care how hard they argue this, your still a child at 15. There is no physical or mature way they could be capable of raising a child, the age to get a job is 16 so where would they get money to support a baby??
2: i feel that 15 yr olds who get pregnant kind of only feel its a cool thing to have, like a fashion bag or something, their facinated with the idea of having a baby of being pregnant but dont pay attention or fully listen to certain things they should be doing things that could possibly go wrong through pregnancy, what they need, expenses for the baby..their living only for being pregnant right now and not very concerned about other IMPORTANT things.
3: some still smoke while pregnant [not to say adults dont too sometimes] I have heard 15 yr olds say, its ok to smoke while pregnant theres no effect and i can still smoke marijuana while pregnant too because theres no harm in it and cant effect the baby. WRONG!!! if your still smoking while pregnant stop! thats the most stupidest thing you could ever do!
You suffocating the baby, the tar is eating away at the placenta and you can have miscarriages or birth defects.
Sure some dont believe in abortion, you dont always have to abort to not be a parent at 15, you can have the baby and put him or her up for adoption, you have so much more ahead of you. Having a baby isnt like buying a hand bag theres complications sometimes and things that as a 15 yr old your not 100% listening to..i just dont feel that a 15 yr old child is capable of having a child it doesnt make sense a child having a child...thats my opinion, id like to hear yours, its not a judgmentle thing on 15 yr olds just an opinion and thought i had.
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I agree 100%. I find it very hard to discuss this topic because it's hard to write posts in a civil manner. In other words, there is a lot more I'd like to say on the subject, but I would get banned for sure, lol!
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what prompted you to bring this up?
*my personal veiws*
1 you are right, they are incapable of supporting a child on their own, but some 15 year olds are actualy mature enough to physically and emotionally handle a baby
2 thats probably all you see, there are many young teens who know what it tajes to care for a baby and can (and will) do it. there are also plenty like you described but it has less to do with age and more with maturity and selflessness
3 this is just completly wrong because there are so many ADULTS who think that way too, to say its 15 year olds or mostly 15 year olds or whatever is wrong (by the way theres actualy probably more older people who do it because 15 year olds cant even legely buy cigarettes (i know some still do but not as many as adults do)
i just want to point out it would have been better to say young teens or under 15s because saying JUST 15 year olds could be taken easily as an attack (sorry for spelling errors typing with one hand cause vals not feeling well)
*my personal veiws*
1 you are right, they are incapable of supporting a child on their own, but some 15 year olds are actualy mature enough to physically and emotionally handle a baby
2 thats probably all you see, there are many young teens who know what it tajes to care for a baby and can (and will) do it. there are also plenty like you described but it has less to do with age and more with maturity and selflessness
3 this is just completly wrong because there are so many ADULTS who think that way too, to say its 15 year olds or mostly 15 year olds or whatever is wrong (by the way theres actualy probably more older people who do it because 15 year olds cant even legely buy cigarettes (i know some still do but not as many as adults do)
i just want to point out it would have been better to say young teens or under 15s because saying JUST 15 year olds could be taken easily as an attack (sorry for spelling errors typing with one hand cause vals not feeling well)
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I completely agree and let me say for the record (for like the millionth time) thank goodness for birth control! If not, I'd probably have a toddler now (I'm 18 )
I can argue the 15yr old is still a child with a few cases where a 15yr old is charged as an adult in the court of law... which I don't think is right...
I can argue the 15yr old is still a child with a few cases where a 15yr old is charged as an adult in the court of law... which I don't think is right...
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After being around this website for a while now, I feel even more strongly that teens, especially young teens, should not have children. I have witnessed the immaturity, the neglect, and the general lack of knowledge that plagues teen pregnancy from the outset.
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It's not really their fault, per se; it's simply where they are in their development.
That being said, there are two young parent posters on here that I feel are quite mature-Dani and Tanya. So it isn't everyone all the time.
That being said, there are two young parent posters on here that I feel are quite mature-Dani and Tanya. So it isn't everyone all the time.
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I don't think anyone will say "it's a great idea for 15 year olds to be having babies!"
but everyone is different, and everyone's situation is different.
It's just not my place to judge other people for their situation.
but everyone is different, and everyone's situation is different.
It's just not my place to judge other people for their situation.
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Anyway, young moms often come to this site because it is meant to be a place of support and help, not a place of condemnation.
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it was just something on my mind, i should have wrote teen 15 and under but at the time 15 yr olds poped in my head so sorry if it seemed to target them only.
it just seems to me that teens under 15 and up ..i dont even really think children under 15+ should be considered teens because their still children, [and as for comment Lilly Ivy, i think it has a lot to do with what the crime is to be tried as an adult] Sure some have that maturity level, but majority, dont have that understanding or maturity. Live for what celebrities are doing, cant support themselves, i mean think back to what you were doing at 15 i was a bit of a goof ball to be quite honest...to say its not really their fault..well most girls who come on here i see typing things like we used condoms and they didnt break but am i pregnant?! or im 14 or 15 and want to have a baby...sure you want a baby but you want it just to say you have a kid! not cuz your mature to have one, not cuz your financially stable to have one, just cuz you want one. period. their not thinking about the long term of having a child, costs for baby supplies, doctor visits [in canada ultrasounds and check-ups are covered by OHIP health cards and no cost] For those who are mature, good on you, but thats like a 5 out of 100 percent out come. Like im not gonna name names here but one girl, im sure we've read her comments, is so caught up in hearing/seeing her babies that she didnt listen to the risks that could happen to her babies because they share a chord. She's not listening, just fascinated with the thought that she'll be a mother. Do you see what im saying??
yes this is a place for suppor, but this is just an open thought and debate here
i should have started of the title differently but whats done is done now.
Like Future said theres so much neglect and a lack of knowledge that goes with young teens having babies, for example, i dont know if you all heard this, but a teen got pregnant, decided she wanted to go out and left her NEW BORN BABY who was like a few weeks or so old BY HERSELF and the teen mother went on a 3 day party streek. Real mature. Not saying all teens do this but it does happen.
it just seems to me that teens under 15 and up ..i dont even really think children under 15+ should be considered teens because their still children, [and as for comment Lilly Ivy, i think it has a lot to do with what the crime is to be tried as an adult] Sure some have that maturity level, but majority, dont have that understanding or maturity. Live for what celebrities are doing, cant support themselves, i mean think back to what you were doing at 15 i was a bit of a goof ball to be quite honest...to say its not really their fault..well most girls who come on here i see typing things like we used condoms and they didnt break but am i pregnant?! or im 14 or 15 and want to have a baby...sure you want a baby but you want it just to say you have a kid! not cuz your mature to have one, not cuz your financially stable to have one, just cuz you want one. period. their not thinking about the long term of having a child, costs for baby supplies, doctor visits [in canada ultrasounds and check-ups are covered by OHIP health cards and no cost] For those who are mature, good on you, but thats like a 5 out of 100 percent out come. Like im not gonna name names here but one girl, im sure we've read her comments, is so caught up in hearing/seeing her babies that she didnt listen to the risks that could happen to her babies because they share a chord. She's not listening, just fascinated with the thought that she'll be a mother. Do you see what im saying??
yes this is a place for suppor, but this is just an open thought and debate here
i should have started of the title differently but whats done is done now.
Like Future said theres so much neglect and a lack of knowledge that goes with young teens having babies, for example, i dont know if you all heard this, but a teen got pregnant, decided she wanted to go out and left her NEW BORN BABY who was like a few weeks or so old BY HERSELF and the teen mother went on a 3 day party streek. Real mature. Not saying all teens do this but it does happen.
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I agree with everything you've said, once again, Krystine.
I think it's a cop out to say that it's not your place to judge, when the behavior in question is harmful to others. I don't think society should ignore these kids and let them do whatever they want.
When children have babies that they cannot support financially, it costs the rest of us money out of our own pockets.
When children have children before they are mentally ready, before they have the maturity to be a parent, the result is a neglected newborn and sometimes even worse. I have every right to judge that kind of behavior, because condoning it will cause more of it to happen.
I think it's a cop out to say that it's not your place to judge, when the behavior in question is harmful to others. I don't think society should ignore these kids and let them do whatever they want.
When children have babies that they cannot support financially, it costs the rest of us money out of our own pockets.
When children have children before they are mentally ready, before they have the maturity to be a parent, the result is a neglected newborn and sometimes even worse. I have every right to judge that kind of behavior, because condoning it will cause more of it to happen.
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I don't think teens should have sex. At all. It doesn't matter to me how mature they are for their age. That doesn't mean they should be parents before they are even taking care of themselves.
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I agree, Jude-Love. It is not necessary for teens to have sex. JMHO, but teen sex looks like a lot of boys pressuring girls into being used for the sole purpose if getting the guys off. How many teen girls have orgasms during sex? Not many. How many teen boys have orgasms during sex? Almost ALL. The girls get stuck with the brunt of STD's, the panic over being pregnant, the side effects of the birth control (besides condoms), etc.
Why can't the guys just masturbate? There's got to be another reason that so many guys pressure girls to the extent that they do. I would say it's for bragging rights. Guys compete over the number of girls they use, and over the details of the sex itself. It's disgusting.
PLEASE NOTE:
NOWHERE in this post did I say ALL TEEN BOYS AND ALL TEEN GIRLS are like this.
Why can't the guys just masturbate? There's got to be another reason that so many guys pressure girls to the extent that they do. I would say it's for bragging rights. Guys compete over the number of girls they use, and over the details of the sex itself. It's disgusting.
PLEASE NOTE:
NOWHERE in this post did I say ALL TEEN BOYS AND ALL TEEN GIRLS are like this.
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| futureshock wrote: |
| I agree, Jude-Love. It is not necessary for teens to have sex. JMHO, but teen sex looks like a lot of boys pressuring girls into being used for the sole purpose if getting the guys off. How many teen girls have orgasms during sex? Not many. How many teen boys have orgasms during sex? Almost ALL. The girls get stuck with the brunt of STD's, the panic over being pregnant, the side effects of the birth control (besides condoms), etc.
Why can't the guys just masturbate? There's got to be another reason that so many guys pressure girls to the extent that they do. I would say it's for bragging rights. Guys compete over the number of girls they use, and over the details of the sex itself. It's disgusting. PLEASE NOTE: NOWHERE in this post did I say ALL TEEN BOYS AND ALL TEEN GIRLS are like this. |
I understand that you're saying that not all teens are like this- but really, how many do you think are? Because none of what you described was my experience at all when I was a teen (and I'm not that far past being a teen now, so I remember it well)
I had sex because I wanted to. No, the first time wasn't great. But as our sexual relationship grew, it was just as much about me as it was about the guy. OK, maybe I don't count in this, because I waited until I was 18, but many of my friends had had sex before me. And all the teen guys I knew were just as nervous and panicky about sex as the girls.
I agree that there is truth to what you're saying. But I feel like sensational information is skewing our vision of how common this type of thing really is. Teen pregnancy has been on the decline for the past ten years. That is why I feel comfotable saying it's not my place to judge a person's situation- I am pro choice in every aspect of life. It is NEVER my place to decide what is best for anyone else, unless they are mentally ill or otherwise incapacitated to make that decision for themselves. And many teen moms do just fine and have children who are just fine.
You're right, it's not necessary for teens to have sex. But if you're gonna say that, then it's not necessary for adults who aren't married and ttc to have sex either. We don't have sex because it is necessary, we have sex because we want to. Adults and teens alike.
And you're really underestimating teen girls in general. It seems like you have a general lack of faith, perhaps based on a few exceptional examples you have seen.
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| Georgia59 wrote: |
| Anyway, young moms often come to this site because it is meant to be a place of support and help, not a place of condemnation. |
Sorry, I didn't mean this in reference to this thread specifically- but the forums in general.
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I think it is abhorrent. A 15 year old's body is not (usually) built yet to have a baby and as such the delivery is much more dangerous and painful than it should be. A child should not be giving birth to another child.
Abstinence and birth control NEEDS to be taught from eight grade up, not the senior year of highschool like it was in my school. And yes, I include abstinence because I personally think it's disgusting for 15 year olds to have sex. Sex is for sexually mature ADULTS, not children.
Abstinence and birth control NEEDS to be taught from eight grade up, not the senior year of highschool like it was in my school. And yes, I include abstinence because I personally think it's disgusting for 15 year olds to have sex. Sex is for sexually mature ADULTS, not children.
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| Georgia59 wrote: |
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I understand that you're saying that not all teens are like this- but really, how many do you think are? Because none of what you described was my experience at all when I was a teen (and I'm not that far past being a teen now, so I remember it well) I had sex because I wanted to. No, the first time wasn't great. But as our sexual relationship grew, it was just as much about me as it was about the guy. OK, maybe I don't count in this, because I waited until I was 18, |
No, you don't count because you were an adult. You were miles away from any situation I was referring to. When you read this post, imagine a 13 year old girl.
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| but many of my friends had had sex before me. And all the teen guys I knew were just as nervous and panicky about sex as the girls.
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I didn't say panicky about sex, but specifically:
the brunt of STD's, the panic over being pregnant, the side effects of the birth control (besides condoms), etc.
| Quote: |
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I agree that there is truth to what you're saying. But I feel like sensational information is skewing our vision of how common this type of thing really is. |
How common what type of thing really is? Boys pressuring girls for sex?
Do you really think it is uncommon?
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You're right, it's not necessary for teens to have sex. But if you're gonna say that, then it's not necessary for adults who aren't married and ttc to have sex either. |
Why would you make this comparison? I am not against teen sex for moral reasons. I don't think people should only have sex to procreate. I am specifically talking about young teen girls who are not ready for sex emotionally, physically, etc., being pressured into sex by boys.
| Quote: |
| We don't have sex because it is necessary, we have sex because we want to. Adults and teens alike.
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Once again, this has nothing to do with adults. It also has nothing to do with 18 year old adults. Neither does it have anything to do with teens who have sex for pleasure.
It is about young girls who are not ready for sex, who don't enjoy the sex that they are pressured into. Remember this line from my post?
How many teen girls have orgasms during sex? Not many.
Notice I didn't say "none" If there are young teen girls who genuinely orgasm during sex that they really wanted to have with their boyfriends, I have no problem with that.
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And you're really underestimating teen girls in general. It seems like you have a general lack of faith, perhaps based on a few exceptional examples you have seen. |
Maybe after my clarification you have a different opinion. Maybe not.
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| Birch wrote: | ||
I read it and didn't see anything but a strong opinion. Maybe a couple words you could have chosen differently. But to respond to what you said, could you say why you believe society praises them? In my experience, teen mothers are shamed. Or that could just be how people in my community/culture views them, and within that teen culture these girls are respected or something. |
Have you seen the movie, or ads for the movie, "JUNO"?
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Just my experience, I was not pressured into having sex. I was 16, so pretty much in the middle of my teens, and was in no way pressured or emotionally unprepared. When the condom broke, the two of us went the very next day to get the plan B pills. I have never slept with a guy who has pressured me to have sex with them (and sadly, it's sometimes the other way around) and never have been with a guy who hasn't taken as much of a responsibility in birth control as I have. Of course it wasn't necessary for me to have sex, just as it isn't necessary for anyone to have sex these days. But I truly wanted to have sex, and I still enjoy it, so I still do 
But I agree with futureshock that I've never met a 13/14 year who is prepared for sex. They're not well informed, a lot of them aren't even physically ready for sex, and worst of all they're not doing it for themselves. And yes, blah blah blah, just because I don't know someone blah blah blah, the fact of the matter is most, if not all, young teenagers aren't ready for sex. And those are the ones who'll get pregnant or get STD's or who'll really regret it later on. My biggest beef with pregnant teens is their whole belief that it's "responsible" to have the baby and let mommy and daddy pay for everything or get of welfare and become a burden to society. (Please note I'm not attacking most of the people we have on the forums since a lot of them are really good and dedicated parents, who don't rely completely on their parents, but it only takes a quick look at the teen pregnancy forum to find teens with other motives)
With the whole orgasm approach, I've never orgasmed from sex. I still want it though. Sex itself is pleasurable to me. At the same time, just because it's more likely that a guy will orgasm from it, if you give him the choice between no sex, and sex but he's not allowed to orgasm, which one do you think he'll pick
.
I'd argue that society is praising the movie itself. Not the fact that she got pregnant in the first place, since that wasn't really focused on. Maybe her choice to give her child up for adoption might be part of the reason, but I think it was mostly because it was a candid movie with witty dialogue.
But I agree with futureshock that I've never met a 13/14 year who is prepared for sex. They're not well informed, a lot of them aren't even physically ready for sex, and worst of all they're not doing it for themselves. And yes, blah blah blah, just because I don't know someone blah blah blah, the fact of the matter is most, if not all, young teenagers aren't ready for sex. And those are the ones who'll get pregnant or get STD's or who'll really regret it later on. My biggest beef with pregnant teens is their whole belief that it's "responsible" to have the baby and let mommy and daddy pay for everything or get of welfare and become a burden to society. (Please note I'm not attacking most of the people we have on the forums since a lot of them are really good and dedicated parents, who don't rely completely on their parents, but it only takes a quick look at the teen pregnancy forum to find teens with other motives)
With the whole orgasm approach, I've never orgasmed from sex. I still want it though. Sex itself is pleasurable to me. At the same time, just because it's more likely that a guy will orgasm from it, if you give him the choice between no sex, and sex but he's not allowed to orgasm, which one do you think he'll pick
.
I'd argue that society is praising the movie itself. Not the fact that she got pregnant in the first place, since that wasn't really focused on. Maybe her choice to give her child up for adoption might be part of the reason, but I think it was mostly because it was a candid movie with witty dialogue.
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| futureshock wrote: |
| It is not necessary for teens to have sex. JMHO, but teen sex looks like a lot of boys pressuring girls into being used for the sole purpose if getting the guys off. How many teen girls have orgasms during sex? Not many. How many teen boys have orgasms during sex? Almost ALL. |
100% true. We rear boys to think sex is a milestone for them and they are encouraged to explore their sexuality via actions by their idiotic pig fathers. Then we tell girls to keep their legs closed! Lovely logic.
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| Eiri wrote: |
| I think it is abhorrent. A 15 year old's body is not (usually) built yet to have a baby and as such the delivery is much more dangerous and painful than it should be. A child should not be giving birth to another child.
Abstinence and birth control NEEDS to be taught from eight grade up, not the senior year of highschool like it was in my school. And yes, I include abstinence because I personally think it's disgusting for 15 year olds to have sex. Sex is for sexually mature ADULTS, not children. |
I agree with teaching birth control but feel that information is actually the key. I had total access to information about sex, pregnancy and anything related to it and did not become sexually active until I was in my late late teens; my daughter likewise always had information; could ask any question and get an answer and did not become sexually active until she was almost 18.
My youngest thinks boys are 'ewwwie' right now; 13 is an unpredictable age. She too has all her questions answered; I made sure she has permission to get BC if she needs it or wants it (not worried about the other; she is gay, zero chance of a pregnancy occurring).
Knowledge really is power.
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| Tags: being pregnant, complications, Pregnancy, adoption, pregnant, placenta, smoking, sense, abort, smoke | ||
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