You can't always be the strong one for everyone else. That is a lot of stress and can make it really hard on yourself. Sometimes you need to just focus on you and seek out support from others. Needing help now and then doesn't mean your week. If anything it means you are strong because you aren't afraid to seek it out. Also, once a cutter always a cutter. You may not cut for 40 years, but if you were truly addicted to it, unfortunately every now and then you will feel those urges. Learning what to do to differ those urges and turn it into something positive is hard, but it is worth it in the long run. You have relapsed, but that does not mean you are a bad person. You can still get back up on your feet. If you ever need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me (or keep talking in this thread!)

Thank you for that it might not have been what I wanted to hear but it is what I need . I am doing better just trying to take things one day at a time. I have one person I have been talking to about it she has been though this to. Talking about it dose help I am so glad I found this site as will I can talk about it and not be ashamed of who I am. I will continue to talk to you I hope and others on here it is helpful to know I am not alone thanks so much
cutting the cutter

How are things going for you? Are you feeling any better lately?

Yes and no I am trying to take it one day at a time I have good ones and bad ones I have only cut a few more times and the urge is still there but I am trying to fill my life with good things instaed of looking at the bad.
Cutting the cutter

That is awesome! I'm glad that you are doing so well. It's hard, but you just have to hang in there and try your best. Filling your life with good things is definitely a wonderful thing to do because then you are full of positive distractions and things to keep your mind off of it.