Mental condition for BF who won't work Posted: 02-19-08 14:29pm
Yes... I have a boyfriend- that won't
work... and hasn't had a job in 2 years--
he likes to spend alot of $$, he likes to
sleep in everyday, loves video
games/movies, anything involving
sleeping/sitting-- I would like to know
the name of this condition!
Yettie
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5320 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 62
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Posted: 02-19-08 15:08pm
That really depends I guess.
He could be anything from just lazy to
suffering from a severe illness.
Depressed, maybe? How does he feel? Who is
supporting him? How old is he?
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YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-19-08 15:30pm
Georgia59
wrote:
That really depends I guess.
He could be anything from just lazy to
suffering from a severe illness.
Depressed, maybe? How does he feel? Who is
supporting him? How old is
he?
Hi Georgia
Depressed? Shouldn't be... he rents a
room in a house of his buddies for $200...
low low rent-- He seems to be very mellow
at all times, although, when he likes to
complain- he likes to complain
continously! That and correct people's
grammar/pronounction. No one is
supporting him $$...although he should be
since he is 28. He inheritate $40k from
his deceased father and is blowing it like
it's going out of style. He really
doesn't have any stress...since he doesn't
work, have kids, disabilities...etc.
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YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-19-08 15:33pm
YettieGal
wrote:
Georgia59
wrote:
That really depends I guess.
He could be anything from just lazy to
suffering from a severe illness.
Depressed, maybe? How does he feel? Who is
supporting him? How old is
he?
Hi Georgia
Depressed? Shouldn't be... he rents a
room in a house of his buddies for $200...
low low rent-- He seems to be very mellow
at all times, although, when he likes to
complain- he likes to complain
continously! That and correct people's
grammar/pronounction. No one is
supporting him $$...although he should be
since he is 28. He inheritate $40k from
his deceased father and is blowing it like
it's going out of style. He really
doesn't have any stress...since he doesn't
work, have kids,
disabilities...etc.
Oh and he hated his father & was not
close with him-- his death did not affect
him at all.. I was with him during that
period. He carried on as usual
|
YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-19-08 15:45pm
YettieGal
wrote:
Georgia59
wrote:
That really depends I guess.
He could be anything from just lazy to
suffering from a severe illness.
Depressed, maybe? How does he feel? Who is
supporting him? How old is
he?
Hi Georgia
Depressed? Shouldn't be... he rents a
room in a house of his buddies for $200...
low low rent-- He seems to be very mellow
at all times, although, when he likes to
complain- he likes to complain
continously! That and correct people's
grammar/pronounction. No one is
supporting him $$...although he should be
since he is 28. He inheritate $40k from
his deceased father and is blowing it like
it's going out of style. He really
doesn't have any stress...since he doesn't
work, have kids,
disabilities...etc.
Oh and he hated his father & was not
close with him-- his death did not affect
him at all.. I was with him during that
period. He carried on as usual
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5320 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 62
Thanked:28
online
Posted: 02-19-08 16:04pm
So maybe once he runs out of money reality
will hit him in the face and he'll have to
get a job?
So I'll settle on just lazy, but that's my
opinion.
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YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-25-08 10:08am
Georgia59
wrote:
So maybe once he runs out of
money reality will hit him in the face and
he'll have to get a job?
So I'll settle on just lazy, but that's my
opinion.
LOL I was waiting for that answer &
you are 100% right. He IS lazy!
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-25-08 10:12am
Immaturity?
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-25-08 10:21am
[quote="bakin_april"]Immaturity?[/quot
What is the big attraction that makes you
stay?? You gotta be getting something out
of the relationship or you wouldn't still
be his girlfriend.
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YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-25-08 10:57am
bakin_april
wrote:
Immaturity?
Are you referring to him?
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YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-25-08 11:00am
[quote="bakin_april"]
bakin_april
wrote:
Immaturity?[/quot
What is the big attraction that makes you
stay?? You gotta be getting something out
of the relationship or you wouldn't still
be his girlfriend.
Big attraction? We both have the same
STD,... it used to be great- never fought,
the attraction was there, we were a team.
But now, since he isn't pulling through on
his end..there really isn't a reason to
stay- I suppose your right. I guess I am
still surprised at the fact at how fast a
person can change, once they get
comfertable in the relationship. Totally
mis-read him on my part.
Yettie
|
bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-25-08 11:11am
[quote="YettieGal"]
bakin_april
wrote:
bakin_april
wrote:
Immaturity?[/quot
What is the big attraction that makes you
stay?? You gotta be getting something out
of the relationship or you wouldn't still
be his girlfriend.
Big attraction? We both have the same
STD,... it used to be great- never fought,
the attraction was there, we were a team.
But now, since he isn't pulling through on
his end..there really isn't a reason to
stay- I suppose your right. I guess I am
still surprised at the fact at how fast a
person can change, once they get
comfertable in the relationship. Totally
mis-read him on my part.
Yettie
Yes, I mean him. Maybe this is his true
character coming out after you two got
comforable together. My ex (married 11
yrs) was out of work more than he worked,
he drank, he ran around, he did it all. I
was so far gone into denial about him I
can't even describe. You're worth more
than spending another minute with someone
who thinks it's ok to treat you this way.
April
|
YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-25-08 23:27pm
Yes, I mean him. Maybe this is his true
character coming out after you two got
comforable together. My ex (married 11
yrs) was out of work more than he worked,
he drank, he ran around, he did it all. I
was so far gone into denial about him I
can't even describe. You're worth more
than spending another minute with someone
who thinks it's ok to treat you this way.
April[/quote]
Wow- sorry to hear you've gone through
this as well! It's harder since we are in
different states. He is not willing to
compremise on anything. He originally
wanted me to move down to tx, away from my
family, away from my job/career,
friends.... all to move into a room that
he is renting in a house. I was disturbed
at first, when he told me- and let him
talk on and on about it. Until I finally
snapped- and told him-- I can't move 1800
miles away from my family. I have a
small family, and a 2.5 yr old mildly
austic nephew! Me and my family are
close...we're all we've got- my parents
are older, my job--etc--- I thought it was
quiet bold of him to even consider asking
me to do that for him!
To make a long story short.. he told me he
would get his life in gear, and wanted to
go to college part or full time-- or work
part time go to college part time-- (you
get the idea) He got the "feeling" when he
spoke to my dad on a personally level,
that he couldn't shake the feeling of my
dad implying that "he couldn't provide for
us/me." And you know--- dad was trying to
rely that message to him! And... all my
boyfriend does... is nothing. I can't
believe that he isn't stressing about
this... that he doesn't care he's almost
30.... and going nowhere with his life!
Sad thing is he's very intelligent
(book-wise) and could go very far if he
applied himself. I can't understand why
he won't. It's like he likes living in
someone else's home, likes not having to
work hard.. (or at all for that matter.)
I work two jobs, and it's hard to get me
to sit still at times, but I can releax-
when needed. I pretty much live by the
motto- "I can sleep when I die" although
we all get burned down at times and need
rest (then i do lol)
i guess I'm more disappointed in myself
than him- alittle sad that it was a
failure. Maybe I'm just not ready for a
serious relationship for now.. and should
just focus on my job/college.
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-26-08 09:40am
YettieGal
wrote:
Yes, I mean him. Maybe this
is his true character coming out after you
two got comforable together. My ex
(married 11 yrs) was out of work more than
he worked, he drank, he ran around, he did
it all. I was so far gone into denial
about him I can't even describe. You're
worth more than spending another minute
with someone who thinks it's ok to treat
you this way.
April
Wow- sorry to hear you've gone through
this as well! It's harder since we are in
different states. He is not willing to
compremise on anything. He originally
wanted me to move down to tx, away from my
family, away from my job/career,
friends.... all to move into a room that
he is renting in a house. I was disturbed
at first, when he told me- and let him
talk on and on about it. Until I finally
snapped- and told him-- I can't move 1800
miles away from my family. I have a
small family, and a 2.5 yr old mildly
austic nephew! Me and my family are
close...we're all we've got- my parents
are older, my job--etc--- I thought it was
quiet bold of him to even consider asking
me to do that for him!
To make a long story short.. he told me he
would get his life in gear, and wanted to
go to college part or full time-- or work
part time go to college part time-- (you
get the idea) He got the "feeling" when he
spoke to my dad on a personally level,
that he couldn't shake the feeling of my
dad implying that "he couldn't provide for
us/me." And you know--- dad was trying to
rely that message to him! And... all my
boyfriend does... is nothing. I can't
believe that he isn't stressing about
this... that he doesn't care he's almost
30.... and going nowhere with his life!
Sad thing is he's very intelligent
(book-wise) and could go very far if he
applied himself. I can't understand why
he won't. It's like he likes living in
someone else's home, likes not having to
work hard.. (or at all for that matter.)
I work two jobs, and it's hard to get me
to sit still at times, but I can releax-
when needed. I pretty much live by the
motto- "I can sleep when I die" although
we all get burned down at times and need
rest (then i do lol)
i guess I'm more disappointed in myself
than him- alittle sad that it was a
failure. Maybe I'm just not ready for a
serious relationship for now.. and should
just focus on my job/college.[/quote]
He deoesn't apply himself because he
doesn't have to. Many people just do the
minimum required to get by. He's got it
easy, he's not (currently) worried about
money, shelter, food, entertainment,
taking care of a family . . . What
happens when the inheritence is gone?
He'll be looking for someone to finance
him 100%. It sounds like a lot of money
but it could be gone in a few months.
You seem very mature. I have no doubt you
could handle a serious relationship. But
a serious partner feeds your soul and
doesn't suck the life out of it. It
sounds like you're extremely busy right
now and the weight of your relationship is
using energy you need elsewhere.
I'm pretty much a cynic and can be
negative given half a chance but I
believe the right partner exists for
everyone. We might meet the right person
and know it immediately or we might give
someone a chance that we would not
normally and find it turns into the
perfect match.
|
YettieGal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: Hell, MI
Posted: 02-26-08 11:20am
[He deoesn't apply himself because he
doesn't have to. Many people just do the
minimum required to get by. He's got it
easy, he's not (currently) worried about
money, shelter, food, entertainment,
taking care of a family . . . What
happens when the inheritence is gone?
He'll be looking for someone to finance
him 100%. It sounds like a lot of money
but it could be gone in a few months.
You seem very mature. I have no doubt you
could handle a serious relationship. But
a serious partner feeds your soul and
doesn't suck the life out of it. It
sounds like you're extremely busy right
now and the weight of your relationship is
using energy you need elsewhere.
I'm pretty much a cynic and can be
negative given half a chance but I
believe the right partner exists for
everyone. We might meet the right person
and know it immediately or we might give
someone a chance that we would not
normally and find it turns into the
perfect match.[/quote]
Thank you so much April-- I truely do
appericate your responses to me! I tend
to doubt myself at times.. and know better
to trust my gut instinct. He is draining
me- you couldn't of summed it up better
than that! I love what you wrote--
"serious partner feeds your soul and
doesn't suck the life out of it!" Makes
sense-- and thank you for the compliment!
I've always been told I'm older beyond my
years.. lol I am pretty busy too, and
tried and tried to make it work with
him... but I feel like it's going nowhere
& I'm the only one making an effort.
I used to text him every morning telling
him to have a great day, and alittle tid
bits of whats going on with me, etc. He'd
never respond. He used to! We used to
talk every night too- since communication
is a huge key with long-distance
realtionships. I was the only one
calling. It's been about 2 weeks since
I've heard from him. I did the same
thing- stopped communicating with him.
Strange thing.. it's happened since I've
started my new Full Time job.. it's like
he's jealous... or angry for me
"working".. lol I'm starting to relaize
that anything involving the word "work"
for him it's like burning at him and he
has to get away from it before it burns
him completely LOL
I know it's pretty much over between me
and him-- and I will remain focused on my
family/friends/jobs. Do you think it's
right of me to give him the same treatment
(no calls/texts etc.)? Not sure what else
to do with him at this point.. am really
hoping he totally forgets my birthday
tomorrow lol.
Thanks again
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bakin_april
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 210 Location: state of confusion, usa
Posted: 02-26-08 14:00pm
Unfortunately, while women today have more
freedom than in all of history our
self-esteem and self-worth factors are
nil. But that's another topic . . .
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