That really depends I guess.

He could be anything from just lazy to suffering from a severe illness. Depressed, maybe? How does he feel? Who is supporting him? How old is he?

Hi Georgia

Depressed? Shouldn't be... he rents a room in a house of his buddies for $200... low low rent-- He seems to be very mellow at all times, although, when he likes to complain- he likes to complain continously! That and correct people's grammar/pronounction. No one is supporting him $$...although he should be since he is 28. He inheritate $40k from his deceased father and is blowing it like it's going out of style. He really doesn't have any stress...since he doesn't work, have kids, disabilities...etc.

Oh and he hated his father & was not close with him-- his death did not affect him at all.. I was with him during that period. He carried on as usual

Oh and he hated his father & was not close with him-- his death did not affect him at all.. I was with him during that period. He carried on as usual

So maybe once he runs out of money reality will hit him in the face and he'll have to get a job?

So I'll settle on just lazy, but that's my opinion.

LOL I was waiting for that answer & you are 100% right. He IS lazy!

Immaturity?

[quote="bakin_april"]Immaturity?[/quot

What is the big attraction that makes you stay?? You gotta be getting something out of the relationship or you wouldn't still be his girlfriend.

Are you referring to him?

[quote="bakin_april"]

Big attraction? We both have the same STD,... it used to be great- never fought, the attraction was there, we were a team.
But now, since he isn't pulling through on his end..there really isn't a reason to stay- I suppose your right. I guess I am still surprised at the fact at how fast a person can change, once they get comfertable in the relationship. Totally mis-read him on my part.

Yettie

[quote="YettieGal"]



Yes, I mean him. Maybe this is his true character coming out after you two got comforable together. My ex (married 11 yrs) was out of work more than he worked, he drank, he ran around, he did it all. I was so far gone into denial about him I can't even describe. You're worth more than spending another minute with someone who thinks it's ok to treat you this way.

April

Yes, I mean him. Maybe this is his true character coming out after you two got comforable together. My ex (married 11 yrs) was out of work more than he worked, he drank, he ran around, he did it all. I was so far gone into denial about him I can't even describe. You're worth more than spending another minute with someone who thinks it's ok to treat you this way.

April[/quote]

Wow- sorry to hear you've gone through this as well! It's harder since we are in different states. He is not willing to compremise on anything. He originally wanted me to move down to tx, away from my family, away from my job/career, friends.... all to move into a room that he is renting in a house. I was disturbed at first, when he told me- and let him talk on and on about it. Until I finally snapped- and told him-- I can't move 1800 miles away from my family. I have a small family, and a 2.5 yr old mildly austic nephew! Me and my family are close...we're all we've got- my parents are older, my job--etc--- I thought it was quiet bold of him to even consider asking me to do that for him!

To make a long story short.. he told me he would get his life in gear, and wanted to go to college part or full time-- or work part time go to college part time-- (you get the idea) He got the "feeling" when he spoke to my dad on a personally level, that he couldn't shake the feeling of my dad implying that "he couldn't provide for us/me." And you know--- dad was trying to rely that message to him! And... all my boyfriend does... is nothing. I can't believe that he isn't stressing about this... that he doesn't care he's almost 30.... and going nowhere with his life! Sad thing is he's very intelligent (book-wise) and could go very far if he applied himself. I can't understand why he won't. It's like he likes living in someone else's home, likes not having to work hard.. (or at all for that matter.) I work two jobs, and it's hard to get me to sit still at times, but I can releax- when needed. I pretty much live by the motto- "I can sleep when I die" although we all get burned down at times and need rest (then i do lol)

i guess I'm more disappointed in myself than him- alittle sad that it was a failure. Maybe I'm just not ready for a serious relationship for now.. and should just focus on my job/college.

Wow- sorry to hear you've gone through this as well! It's harder since we are in different states. He is not willing to compremise on anything. He originally wanted me to move down to tx, away from my family, away from my job/career, friends.... all to move into a room that he is renting in a house. I was disturbed at first, when he told me- and let him talk on and on about it. Until I finally snapped- and told him-- I can't move 1800 miles away from my family. I have a small family, and a 2.5 yr old mildly austic nephew! Me and my family are close...we're all we've got- my parents are older, my job--etc--- I thought it was quiet bold of him to even consider asking me to do that for him!

To make a long story short.. he told me he would get his life in gear, and wanted to go to college part or full time-- or work part time go to college part time-- (you get the idea) He got the "feeling" when he spoke to my dad on a personally level, that he couldn't shake the feeling of my dad implying that "he couldn't provide for us/me." And you know--- dad was trying to rely that message to him! And... all my boyfriend does... is nothing. I can't believe that he isn't stressing about this... that he doesn't care he's almost 30.... and going nowhere with his life! Sad thing is he's very intelligent (book-wise) and could go very far if he applied himself. I can't understand why he won't. It's like he likes living in someone else's home, likes not having to work hard.. (or at all for that matter.) I work two jobs, and it's hard to get me to sit still at times, but I can releax- when needed. I pretty much live by the motto- "I can sleep when I die" although we all get burned down at times and need rest (then i do lol)

i guess I'm more disappointed in myself than him- alittle sad that it was a failure. Maybe I'm just not ready for a serious relationship for now.. and should just focus on my job/college.[/quote]

He deoesn't apply himself because he doesn't have to. Many people just do the minimum required to get by. He's got it easy, he's not (currently) worried about money, shelter, food, entertainment, taking care of a family . . . What happens when the inheritence is gone? He'll be looking for someone to finance him 100%. It sounds like a lot of money but it could be gone in a few months.

You seem very mature. I have no doubt you could handle a serious relationship. But a serious partner feeds your soul and doesn't suck the life out of it. It sounds like you're extremely busy right now and the weight of your relationship is using energy you need elsewhere.

I'm pretty much a cynic and can be negative given half a chance but I believe the right partner exists for everyone. We might meet the right person and know it immediately or we might give someone a chance that we would not normally and find it turns into the perfect match.

[He deoesn't apply himself because he doesn't have to. Many people just do the minimum required to get by. He's got it easy, he's not (currently) worried about money, shelter, food, entertainment, taking care of a family . . . What happens when the inheritence is gone? He'll be looking for someone to finance him 100%. It sounds like a lot of money but it could be gone in a few months.

You seem very mature. I have no doubt you could handle a serious relationship. But a serious partner feeds your soul and doesn't suck the life out of it. It sounds like you're extremely busy right now and the weight of your relationship is using energy you need elsewhere.

I'm pretty much a cynic and can be negative given half a chance but I believe the right partner exists for everyone. We might meet the right person and know it immediately or we might give someone a chance that we would not normally and find it turns into the perfect match.[/quote]

Thank you so much April-- I truely do appericate your responses to me! I tend to doubt myself at times.. and know better to trust my gut instinct. He is draining me- you couldn't of summed it up better than that! I love what you wrote-- "serious partner feeds your soul and doesn't suck the life out of it!" Makes sense-- and thank you for the compliment! I've always been told I'm older beyond my years.. lol I am pretty busy too, and tried and tried to make it work with him... but I feel like it's going nowhere & I'm the only one making an effort. I used to text him every morning telling him to have a great day, and alittle tid bits of whats going on with me, etc. He'd never respond. He used to! We used to talk every night too- since communication is a huge key with long-distance realtionships. I was the only one calling. It's been about 2 weeks since I've heard from him. I did the same thing- stopped communicating with him. Strange thing.. it's happened since I've started my new Full Time job.. it's like he's jealous... or angry for me "working".. lol I'm starting to relaize that anything involving the word "work" for him it's like burning at him and he has to get away from it before it burns him completely LOL

I know it's pretty much over between me and him-- and I will remain focused on my family/friends/jobs. Do you think it's right of me to give him the same treatment (no calls/texts etc.)? Not sure what else to do with him at this point.. am really hoping he totally forgets my birthday tomorrow lol.

Thanks again

Unfortunately, while women today have more freedom than in all of history our self-esteem and self-worth factors are nil. But that's another topic . . .

Again Good Luck in Everything You Do

PM if you ever want to chat.

I will give you the best answer. Your boyfriend has low testosterone. And trust me when I tell you. A man knows what a man needs to do in life. But without proper amount of testosterone he will be a bum. He will not get angry so forget the crap that is said about testosterone. His levels shoudl be between 700 and 800.. If they are not in that range, then tell him to either naturally raise his testosterone and or use the alternatives. Before you jump to get him the alternative testosterone ( gels, injections, pills), Tyep in google "Low Testosterone effects in a man" And you will see that testosterone plays a vital role in manhood and mental abilities.


Good luck.