Pray For Us. Dear Angel. Beloved Child Of God. Your Life Here Was Too Short By Our Ability To Understand Time. But, For God, He Wanted You Back With Him. He Is The Decider Of All Things.

With Respect and Love To Your Dear Mother Muthoni,

Roberta

When I read of your daily life and what you go through with hope and courage, it encourages me in my own trials and tribulations.

Always stay as sweet as you are Mson.

Bobbie

much for your kind words to beloved Jacinta. Today marks 11 years since she departed from the body. Thanks for celebrating this day with me.

I want to ease other people's pain Bobbie. That is why I am in this world.

But I don't want to deal with users. Like Amy was here again today. When beloved husband talked to her the last time, he told her we would be gone for 5 days. So what does she do? She goes away for 5 days and then comes back. I will be the mean one and will tell her she is not welcome anymore. I have had it to above my head. BH says it is an awkward position for him. I told him I tell her to go myself. God help me but I will.

She just buzzed and did not come in. I am tired of her. You and Homerx are so wise. Like really. I understood what both of you were saying about the situation but my BH could not get it. He cannot tell her off. He has known her since she was a child. That's OK, I'll tell her to look for another home to leave crystal meth pipes.

The day was good. I did not feel like getting up but I was working at 9:45am. Had to get up. I got ready and had breakfast. Worked until 2:30pm. BH came to get me from work. That was nice. I had lunch and then went to see the herbalist. He said that the herbs I was taking were cleansing my immune system and he added that the ones he gave me today to build the immune system. He seems to know what he is doing.

I got home and watched the preacher lady. Soon it was time to go for dinner. BH was spoiling me. We went to a Chinese restaurant. Sweet and sour pork, Sizzling chicken hot place, beef fried rice and and an egg roll each. We have left overs.

Right now I am boiling the herbs for tomorrow morning and then I will take my medication.

You'll never guess what next. That is right. BH is taking me dancing to celebrate our late Jessy. Why not? It has been since my stagette in 2005 since I was out dancing. No, I was dancing at a wedding last year. I dance at home.

How are you Bobbie? I suppose the workers do a better job when you are there. And the work must be soo good for you. Rock on girlfriend!

We did not stay at the bar because they were having a live show. We didn't have tickets. We had a nice walk and came back home. We had fun. These people in a restaurant were fascinated mbae my beloved husband's beard as we were walking mbae. I stroked the beard once as we waited for a light and one guy said, "touch it again" and I did. We all laughed so hard.

And the sunset Bobbie, it was something to behold

Love
Mson

Full of Life and Love. Thank God for you and your kindness in your heart.

Kindness does not mean to be mistaken for weakness. Sometimes, we have to put our foot down and say enough. Amy has to clean up her act and stop sponging off you and BH. It doesn't matter how long BH has known this girl. If you continue to support her weakness, she will never seek recover. We all know the story. AND, sometimes, it is our own caring that keeps them where they are by our enabling them to stay the same.

Think about it. But, leaving drug pipes around the house is definitely unhealthy. You have a lot of people counting on you Mson. You are working for a higher good with your education on AIDS/HIV. You honestly cannot predict what this girl is capable of doing. If she has tried to steal from you, where does that leave your peace of mind? She has to go. You have been more than good to her. Sorry. That is my two cents worth. Wait till Homer gets home and he will say the very same thing!!!!!!

On a much happier and brighter note, Your sweet Jessy is and was so beautiful. Such a sweet soul. They say only the good die young. She just didn't have to stay that long in this incarnation Mson.

With love to you and BH,

Bobbie

Will be glad when our Homer gets home. Should be by tomorrow I think.

11:00am woke up.

Called the doctor's office after making bed. I want to have a specialist for HIV/AIDS Instead of of a family doctor.

11:19am sat down for breakfast, watching the preachings.

12:07pm I will skip rope on the balcony. Tyler our best man is visiting. He is a single father at the moment.

If I do one thing, I feel a sense of accomplishment and it helps me to go on with the day. I had thought of just sitting here but another thought told me to do what I CAN do.

12:28pm I finished candle prayers. Very...(What is the word I am looking for?)...very comforting.

Bobbie, there are some star fish shapes on the prayer wall that have buttons on them. So I have your button and the other two on the starfish. I pray for you as many times as the buttons.

I just realized the other buttons today.

It is 12:34pm. I should start cleaning. 12:58pm bath tub clean, toilet clean, sink clean. Time for lunch.

1:11pm finished lunch.

I started doing the dishes and the door bell rang. It was the girl who was taking care of Tyler's daughter and Tyler's daughter. She is a doll that one. They decided they were all going for lunch. Since I had things to do and I was going to work later, I decided to stay. Besides, I had eaten lunch.

Then the buzzer rang - I thought they had forgotten something but it was actually my friend from Kenya. I met him a while ago - years ago at a pizza joint. Anyway, he just wanted to surprise me with a visit. I visited with him for a while. Then I got ready for work and we walked together. I was about 3 minutes late. We were talking about how our ancestors (RIP) came over here before we did so. I was very happy that he came to see me.

I am at work and there is BH. With food for me. What a ~Sweetheart~!

One of the girls here made me a strawberry and apple juice smoothie. Yummy.

On my break at 4:30pm, I went to the labyrinth. There were 3 young men and one said to me, "Hey beautiful." He called called me beautiful I did my prayer routine and now 5:10pm I am settled for the shift until 7:15am.

The girl who is said somebody gay bashed her today. She told me that if I was walking home alone to be aware of that guy. The girl is awesome and it is sad to see that kind of behavior here in my neighborhood.

After work I went to dinner at my friend Earl's house. I have known him for over 10 years. Cody was making the dinner. Roast beef, carrots, mashed potatoes and an ice cream cake for dessert. We chatted for a while and then I had to come home and take my medication.

I found my husband with a friend who just came back from Spain. It was 9:30pm and they had not eaten! BH went for pizza and the guest left.

Today marks 12 years since I came to Canada. Thank you Jesus for sparing my life. Around this time 15 years ago I was told I had AIDS.

We will pick up tomorrow from where we left today.

Bed time for Bonzo. It is 10:44pm.

Love
Mson

Have to go to bed too. Went to my friend's winery for dinner and the fireworks. This nice guy from church met me there. He is actually very sweet, intelligent, is accepted by my friends and believe me they loved BH Walter and are watching out for me. Went to a dinner there with him before, a movie and now this evening. It is nice to have company, I will admit. He also was sweet to come out to help me in the vineyard cleaning up the people forgot to do. He is nice. And, a good dancer. There were 400 people for the BBQ plus many others on the property to see the fireworks from the city park.

I love your comment bedtime for Bonzo. Mson. You are too much.

Bobbie

very much Bobbie for telling me about Amy. With your strength and that of Homerx, I will be able to tell her off. Even her dad's cousin will not let her stay with him.

And yes I have thought about it. We are enablers. She does all the drugs she wants then she comes here to twitch. Her presence disrupts the peace in the home. She has to go. And you are right again. It does not matter how long BH has known her.

He is too chicken to talk to her but now that he agrees that she is a bother, I can tell her to go away.

My BH has tried to be subtle but I will be brutal. No mercy.

This morning I woke up at 9:49am. Just about to have breakfast and then continue with the cleaning where I left of yesterday.

Sorry I never saw this post until this morning.

Love you Bobbie.

And about company, it is very important to have company that you enjoy. I am glad you are open to it. Friends first and then everything else follows in a flow.

All the best to you.

xoxo
Mson

all you can do is be blunt. Just come right out and say what you think. No pussyfooting around but say it like it is Mson.

If Amy's own blood kin won't let her stay with them, there has to be a reason. They are onto her. Amy needs to get herself clean and then, and only then, will she be able to help herself.

Master manipulators are good and they can be very, very good on tuning into us and they will remind us that we have problems and poor them, give them a break.

For this girl to make you feel unsafe in your own home is part of being a manipulator. She used you and probably uses just about anybody who will let her past the doorstep to have a place to crash. That is not good energy for you Mson. You are getting better and don't need this grief in your life. To tell you the truth, she probably can't remember half the things going on with her. Black outs.

Next time she leaves, please ask Homer on this one, but, don't even answer the intercom but then she will just keep pestering you. Maybe like you say, just be blunt, in her face and say GET OUT. You are not welcome here anymore. Goodbye. Get help.

I am like you Mson. I try my best to be kind but when push comes to shove, I will do it.

Take care of yourself and don't stress over this. You have too much positive going on in your life.

Bobbie

You write so well. I really loved the last sentence. And it is true.

11:00 something in the morning, my mum called. She is in the coastal area of Kenya. She was saying that yesterday one of her cows died. It broke off the area and fell into a water hole. Lord have mercy. My dad phoned her about it and she was soo mad that she disconnected the phone on him. Those two . Then mum was telling me about how she has been taken to the chief for taking a girl who was in school and having her employed as a maid. OMG!! I know where I got my drama from.

1:32pm finished watching a movie. Time to have lunch.

The buns had gone moldy and so I just had the black forest ham and some milk. Creative eh? Just something to keep me going. Now I am onto the cleaning. It is 1:45pm. First I'll have a

Had a chat with BH. He will be going for an interview soon as a Junior Programmer. He is always programming. That is what occupies most of his time. But to get paid to do what he loves will be something else. The interview would be this weekend or next week. Please pray for his career and that He walks God's path as usual. That his feet may walk the right path. Tyler and beloved husband have been friends since elementary school. He was asked to look for somebody and he thought of his friend. See how God works? I am believing in God for this job for BH. He deserves it.

2:53pm, finally started the cleaning.

5:49pm. Woke up from a nap. I was in bed mbae about 2:54pm. Didn't do any cleaning. *hanging head in shame*

7:10pm finished doing dishes, wiping down the stove top and counters. I vacuumed - oh I feel better. I did the kitty litter as well.

I am now getting ready to go for my labyrinth walk.

7:19pm ready to go for a walk.

8:18pm got back home from a walk and shopping. I got cereal, pineapple juice, lunch meat and buns. Now I am off to do the candle prayers.

God works in mysterious ways. I saw Amy downtown today. I told her to come and get her stuff. She has a half a garbage bag of clothes. She told me she will come get them because she has found a place. I have heard that story about getting a place before.

8:31pm I am done candle prayers.

Tonight we are eating tacos. BH is busy in the kitchen cooking. Naked. I love the whole idea. When he gets the job, I will have to cook but he said he will cook any day he is not working. He has cooked for me since 2004! God bless him.

Fillings for the tacos are tomato, orange pepper, green onion, red onion, cheese, beef and sauce.

I had to call my fixed pay account. They paid a balance transfer but over paid mbae about $1300. I was after the 144$ that they charged me for the balance transfer. Mbae the end of the conversation, she paid back a half of the charges. Neat. Thanks Jesus.

Homerx was supposed to be here today but I guess he is tired and probably has a lot to do.

My beloved husband is playing with the cat upstairs. I can here him laughing and belching.

It is 10:40pm. I better go give my beloved the massage that I missed yesterday.

BH is now downstairs. His way of telling me that I have taken too long. Now it is my turn to go wait for him. What a cool game.

All the best Bobbie.

from

Mson

I love the way you love each other and are there for one another. That is so cool and precious and beautiful.

Going to make dinner a little early. The labor contractor who put in the trellissing is coming out at 10:00 tomorrow because it seems to be too loose. Called Lee but he refuses to be responsible. Took the money and ran like a rat that baby boy.

I have been together just as a casual date a few times with the nice guy from church and we have had a good time. My friends at the winery like him and accept him. He is a good guy.

Later,

Love,

Bobbie

Bobbie,

I woke up around 10:00am. Had breakfast and got ready to go to the gay parade. It is 6:00pm and I have been gone since 11:00am There was bare chested ladies, oh mama. It was quite the show. We were dancing for the longest time.

My friend Earl and I went for lunch. We had each a bowl of soup made of beans, corn and chorizo (sp) sausages. Earl had two ginger ale while I had a Caesar. Lunch cost us around $37. It was fun and it was pride day anyway.

When I got home today, beloved husband had been out looking for a shirt for the interview. A nice burgundy. He is a little bit nervous about it all and so am I.

This is a picture of me taken before I left this morning. It was still too early to get me smiling.



Those stairs lead to a loft upstairs. That is the love seat I got for $200. There are two book shelves there underneath the stairs and on top of them and on the wall are what I refer to the the candle prayer wall. The love seat is against the counter space in the kitchen and a broken dish washer that acts as a counter. The fridge full of pictures is also visible. I am wearing the anointed scarf from Homerx on my head.

I had a good day.

Coming home and finding your reply made my day.

Bobbie, I am starting to notice how many ways my beloved husband and I love each other. Like I couldn't wait to get home from the pride parade.

Sorry to hear about yet another mistake that Lee made. I am glad that you are doing something about it. There really are people that take advantage of good people like yourself Bobbie. *sigh*

Do you think it is wise to call him?

Very glad to hear about the dates with the nice man from church. I was friends with my beloved husband for over 4 years before we thought of being lovers. So I am happy for you and whatever will be will be. It will unfold itself.

It is 6:54pm. The weekend is almost over but it sure was fun.

Homerx hasn't posted yet and I hope he is alright. Ricky was leaving for California as Homerx was getting back. He must be too busy. I miss him.

Always with love and light
Mson

Dearest Mason and Bobbie: HomerX is alive and well in Ore City. He just will not be on line for about a week cuz he cannot get to the computer in the bedroom as the floor is being re-done. He sends his love and regards.....had a great time in Atlanta!!! Misses Ya'll!! I have had the pleasure of knowing Homer since 1976....he is wonderfully unique isn't he? I told Homer that u posted a pic of Jessie on the site and he can't wait to see her --she looks like a beautiful little angel....Peace and love--Bobbette

Thanks for letting us know about our beloved Homerx. We will wait to hear from him or even call him to say hello.

Mson, thank you for your beautiful picture on your loveseat. And, with the blessed scarf from Homer. You are just so young and so beautiful. Praise God that he has blessed you to be in your new country, Canada, where you are loved, treasured and blessed. Can see why BH fell in love with you dear, sweet girl.

I have to tell you that I am hearing this amazing endangered red fox calling out in my vineyard outside my window. It is like barking/croaking sound.

Well, for me, I felt that if I could just get Lee out of my life and out of my vineyards no matter how painful it would be, that it would be a good decision.

The one thing I will say about Lee is he always loved this new vineyard and he never let anybody cheat me. I let him go and now come to find out the new labor contractor was spending way, way too much time with people out there. And, now, even when I was out there working with them and saying why aren't you doing it properly, cutting off the ends and tying them down individually, not two lines together? He said he was right. He has now overcharged me by over $4,000.00.

My people came out today and they will come in and correct it. I feel sick. So sick that I called and asked Lee to come back. I realize that I felt I would do anything to get over him and seeing him but I was not acting rationally. My vineyards come first and not my feelings for him. He said he will think about it. I called back and said I appreciate that but I need to know; otherwise, I will have to search for a new vineyard manager.

One thing Mson, when I said to Lee, well, maybe I can go out there and fix it and he said it would take years. I don't think so. I have to go out to turn on the watering stations and a least there were a few smart guys who did it right.

I really don't want Lee back in my life as he hurts me and humiliates me and has even demanded things from my estate. But, I get scared and worry about this debt and he tells me only he can sell my fruit (which he is really good at), but he is a cruel man and not even that old to be called a man. He is 33. A baby really.

Love your picture. Please put it on as your avatar because it shows your sweetness and innocence.

Bobbie

yourself Have u spoken with your priest about your conflicts? plp Bobbette

Last night I set the alarm for 9:00am instead of 8:45am. I managed to get out of bed at 9:41am. Not bad but I should do better.

10:23am I am having breakfast.

My husband removes his clothes that he had just worn so that we would both have naked My BH is a fine and funny man. Always complimenting me in the morning. Last night he said thanks for the many times I have gone out to work eg office cleaning or working at the club . That meant a lot to me. He told me that he doesn't know if there is a woman who will love him like I do. In the world.

10:34am, calling SAN-FAN's credit card to get an increment. It is a low interest card which I would like to use to pay off one of the other cards. I am on hold...I went through the application process and they will tell me tomorrow, I mean Wednesday.

10;52 am, BH has his clothes on. . The birds are singing. I managed to get an appointment at the doctor's office. I want to get a referral to see a specialist. Especially because this doctor did not know that my last medication made me fatigued.

10:59am. I got a long kiss from Bh as he went out. I am feeling better than when I first woke up. It is all in the attitude.

11:05am, I skipped rope.

11:09am took the recycle out.

11:29am. I just finished taking the recycle out and BH came home with three pairs of new socks and he says his new pants are being hemmed. He is getting ready for the interview. The pants will be ready after tomorrow hopefully it is not too late but if it is, BH has said he will mbae other pants.

11:34am, time to get ready. I have a lunch meeting at the AIDS office for 12:00pm. It is a fifteen minute walk.

11:47am. Heading to the AIDS office.

BH says the best part of getting dressed is getting undressed. . He says that as he unbuttons his shirt.

2:21pm, back home. I went and had the meeting. Had pizza for lunch - went to the labyrinth and said my prayers. The P O box had a cheque for $100 for speaking. I went and cashed the cheque. We divided half and half as usual. The I took the excess money that was over paid on a balance transfer and paid it to a line of credit.

We pay all our minimum every month and choose two cards of a high interest rate to pay off. The money we earn on Tuesdays at the club goes to credit cards. Thursday money goes to and Friday money goes to the food budget. We pay ourselves $12 each per week. Pocket money.

I went crazy trying to organize the finances but finally we got it planned. As per now, we have a couple of cards paid off. It has been your prayers.

2:53pm, having using a pipe. I don't know how to roll and BH has gone on a walk. We keep talking about if he got the job...the birds are singing.

3:13pm heading out to doctor's office.

4:38pm I am back from seeing the doctor. He has just come back from Tanzania Africa. He showed me pictures of Africa. Told me I had 330 fighter cells up from 260. Thanks Jesus!

I asked the doctor if I could see him at another clinic and he said he has nowhere else. I told him it how hard it was to get in to see him. He called the front desk and he said I can pre book my appointments.

I told him who I wanted to see as a specialist and when I told him who I wanted a refferal to see, he said that that doctor was retiring. I asked him when was the retirement and he said he did not know the answer.

He was recommending me to his friend I think and I said no. I want the elderly doctor who has seen it all. He was saying I am not too sick to see a specialist. Do you only see a specialist when you are very sick? I would rather a doctor who specializes in HIV than a doctor who is only interested in the disease.

(I got a lot to say today )

5:00pm, watch news.

5:57pm ordering food. We had nothing in the frigde. We are eating Swiss Chalet. Ribs, spring rolls and pop. About $30.

5:59 watching preacher women.

6:40pm dinner time. Show on pause.

6:58pm done with dinner. Back to preacher woman.


7:25pm time to do dishes.

8:29pm dishes are done, stove top wiped and counters cleaned. Thanks Jesus.

Just finished saying candle prayers at 8:43pm.

Thanks Bobbette for an update about Homerx. Means a lot to us. Thanks a bunch.

Bobbie, are you serious about Lee? I really don't know the whole story just bits and pieces. I pray everyday but Sunday for you Bobbie. Whatever happens, make sure to use condoms. I don't know if HPV is like HIV where one can get re-infected. Just saying. I hear you when you say the vineyards come first. It is your livelihood. Set everything else aside and work on what propers you. I can understand that.

Thanks for the complements. Young, sweetness and innocent you say? I believe it. And so are you Bobbie. When I think of that other man hitting you in the belly while you were with baby I clench.

Anyway, I have to stop writing and go to bed. I love bed time. My night to get a massage that I should have got yesterday. We are flexible.

It is 10:23pm

Love you lots
Mson

I am not with Lee anymore or with any man because I have HPV. He torments me just like now but with God's grace and your prayers I will survive, because I am a survivor. I went back out there and it can be fixed. Not years like he said but try weeks. Even if it is just me fixing it up and down those hills. I think it is the deal of getting rid of somebody with the nerve of competiting with Lee.

Then he tried to tell me that my labor contractor who never tried to cheat me only works for him and another big winery. But the man told me today that even if it didn't work out with Lee and me they could still work for me.

I honestly want you to pray for me not to let Lee back into my life because I feel it would make me weak and not able to stand up to him and I honestly want him out of here and out of my life.

Pray for me as I pray for you dear sister.

Bobbie

spoken to my priest and he is special and has the gift of understanding. When I told Lee I talked to the priest, he said I was crazy. I said no I am not, you are the person who denies and can't get help.

I told my priest about all of it, the HPV, everything. He still treats me with the same love and respect. Nothing different there. He loves me as a child of God.

Thanks Bobbette,

Bobbie

It sounds like he is a good one. Non-judgemental and loving. You r an intelligent woman, obviously. I am sure you will make decisions for yourself ensuring your best interests for health (spiritual and physical) and peace of mind. You have alot going on taking care of the vineyard and a Bed n'Breakfast. Decide what u need to do to make your jobs as efficient and productive as possible with the least stress. peace, love and prayers---Bobbette

Dear Bobbie. I am as you wrote the above. You called Lee to come back. Why? Because you think he is the only one who can do a good job. I am sure there are many other vineyard managers without going to Lee. Surely Bobbie. You don't want to open up a whole new can of worms. But on the other hand, you cannot watch your crop go to waste. All I can do is pray for you my dear...to me, once I have been sexually involved with someone, it would be most difficult to work with them again without being sexually involved again. See what I mean to use condoms? I am obviously about the whole issue..

Love
Mson