To Homerx February 17, 08

Happy Birthday Rick!

homerx, I hope you have a lovely day. Hope the steak turns out just perfect. Glad to hear that you found your suitcase. Now you have to pack it. Right on my dear.

It is not here. This morning I did not feel like waking up. First I woke up to let my beloved husband in. He had gone out and left his keys behind. It was about 8:00am. I could have used the time to do dishes but I went back to bed. When I got up again, it was my phone ringing. A girlfriend wanted to do something but I was working at 9:45am. I had just enough time to have breakfast, get ready and head to work.

Now that I am here, I am feeling better and glad I came to work.

During my break I am going to go to the labyrinth and say my prayers.

Right now I have to pee so bad but I have to wait for somebody to watch the desk for me... Ah, I feel better.

I love my job but sometimes there are people with bad attitude. I really hate when I say something and someone says "What!" This guy came in and I had never seen him before and he had no card. I asked him if he had a card and he acted as though he did not hear me and proceeded to get into the open area. The lady boss told him to introduce himself to the front desk. That was neat of her.
The guy is with the freedom tour.

Then two people come to get him and when I told him a couple of people were waiting for him, he asked "what!" I repeated myself and then said "What! What! What!" That will teach him. As he was leaving he was trying to introduce me to his friends and he did not even know how to say my first name.

Anyway, I am grateful to have the job. I just think begets

Soon going for my break. We are listening to Doors. I am feeling better. Thanks for listening.

Have an awesome day. Love Mson

Hi Mson. I love The Doors
Rick and I are about to have birthday ...Nice way to spend the afternoon then we are going to Home depot to look at tile for the bedroom,that is what he wants for his birthday, a new tile floor for our room...
Glad you are having a good day except for
What! what! What! that made me laugh
OK, I am gonna with my sweetheart...
Love you,Homer

Homerx, " cover eyes ?" Hehe . That is so neat Homerx. I missed you in the early morning. I thought you were being this morning. Twice a day is fun. I always love to hear what you have to say. You are my GOD! (I CAN believe I said that). I admire you for knowing who you are. No woman ever you said. That brings with it self worth and self knowledge. You go girl. (I can't believe I said that!)

Homerx and Boobie,

The girl Amy minimized her visits but she still comes to stay here. Twice I have told her on the intercom that beloved husband is not home. And I wasn't lying. I wanted her to know that she was here because of BH. But I couldn't have been that mean if I was letting her visit as long as she was not left alone.

Last night, my BH had gone to a tournament. It is a medical marijuana game thing. So my BH was playing and I was doing laundry. The buzzer rang and it was the girl and when she said her name, my heart just went out for her and let her in. I am crying but anyway, should never have let her in.

She went straight to the bathroom and I ran to get laundry. Phew, when I came back she was still in the bathroom. Then I started to worry. She came out of the bathroom and I could not even look at her. Just the energy. Then she fell asleep but she would wake up and do something. Like eat what she had brought with her. She would wake and drink water. I thought that was good.

BH came home and said hey to her but she was sleeping. Then she woke up and took the video camera. It belongs to the Educational Group. She took from the office area to the dining space. I told BH, better tell Amy to return the camera.

This morning I woke up and when I heard noises, I looked down to the living room to see what she was doing. My BH noticed but I forget what he said. Then I came downstairs and the camera was not there. So I had to be very quiet and ask where the camera was and BH told me it was upstairs. See, he is getting it. He told me I was funny for hiding my cereal. I told him I was taking care of myself. Now, he too is taking care of himself.

Then this afternoon I come home and Chris is visiting. I asked if Amy was coherent when she left and he said yes and added that he told her we won't home for next five days. He says we need privacy and it is inconveniencing. I am ten years older than BH He is smart and intelligent but when I see him realize that something is not right, that is wisdom.

I was listening to what both of you had to tell me about getting rid of the girl. But I had a BH to deal with.

Amy would wake up in the middle of the night and speak another language I have never heard before. I thought she only speaks English This morning I didn't care she was here. When the phone rang I went downstairs to get it naked. I sleep naked. I don't close the door to the bathroom. So I was on the toilet when BH got in. He was surprised that I answered the intercom. So I guess from all the observations, he asked her not to bother coming around for the next five days.

I was laughing so hard mbae myself when I realized that he had realized what I had been trying to tell him before. 2006 I told him my clothes were missing and he found them in the closet and said, see, she was not stealing. But she was. She had sorted out the good dresses. She intended to steal them. Given a chance she will steal from us.

The other day she was here and I lost $5 and BH was saying it is not the end of the world. Yes it is not the end of the world but it shows we have a thief in the home.

Pascale is back. I apologized to her and said I really didn't think we were going to Tofino for three days, two nights.

We are having spaghetti for dinner. Bobbie, BH cooks around here. I cooked so many meals when I was a kid that I always think cooking is a chore. Bh loves cooking. One day a week he is off cooking. We order in.

I'll get to those dishes right away Sir and Ma'am.

Love you always
Mson.

I was out there working now for almost 8 days in a row doing tying down on the new plants which is good because I know what is going on. I found some mistakes and problems.

In calling Lee about these things which I had paid for, he finally answered and he is just like he was in the beginning. Very depressed. Very unhappy. Only he can walk his path. Unhappy that he cannot be with his children except for one hour a week. And, that is only his daughter.

I agree with Muthoni about her mother, forgiving her. That is the truly nobel soul of Mson that she can forgive. I know I have forgiven Lee but still want him to find some peace and happiness.

Mson is right in her right to rememberance of her childhood. That is part of her life and soul. Parents really should consider their actions in front of their children and with their children.

I believe a child has the true desire to want to be loved by their parents. Even parents who abuse and hurt them. Children have innocent hearts. This has to end somewhere. And, Mson, so wisely has said, I forgive my mother and it is like it was before. Mson will get to Heaven before most of us will. Heaven, be it what most people have been taught to believe as a place with golden streets, or, as I believe as a spiritual place of enlightenment where it really is shining so brightly with love that it will blind us. Amazing

Homer, you have the most amazing trip and visit with your brother and enjoy the concert.

Bobbie

I have washed the cups and glasses and now I am going to do the plates and cutlery. My beloved husband was eating chow mein with a spoon.

Very good of you Bobbie to have the discipline to go to work everyday for over a week. May you be blessed.

You saw the way I opened the door for Amy because her sadness got to me? That is exactly what Lee is trying to do to you. Be strong Bobbie. You have come this far, you can do it.

We got a new credit card and they were going to do a balance transfer. They did it with the wrong card and took too much money. But at least one card is paid off completely. Thanks be to God. I will figure out about the balances later. What really gets me is that I called to confirm which card they were paying and now they say they don't transfer balances within the same establishment.

Let me get to those dishes.

Love you
Mson

Mson, I love when you say bye you That is so cute I am only on here cuz Rick passed out Too much good food, too much good lovin' + and then too much What a great day
Bobbie, so Lee is back to his ...I say tough noogies He made his bed, now its time to lay on it. He planted the garden, now he can tend it and I am NOT talking about the grapes or any of that.
Hay I have an idea Dont let him wear you down with crocodile tears. We all know how he changes on a dime when you give in. So look deep within yourself and I think you will C the truth.
Rick is off tomorrow 2. We never made it to Home Depot We will go tomorrow.
OK, have a great night, my dears.
Sweet Dreams
Homer

Off to Atlanta in the morning Going to have fun although I will miss my love and my babies... but swimming and hot tub will be nice. Hope you both are doing great today. I fly out at 1PM tomorrow and its 3 hours to the airport in Dallas. BYE

I don't know how much longer I could have slept but the phone woke me up at 9:45am. I jumped out of bed like a mad woman. Then I realized that my beloved husband was home. I decided to get on with the day.

Spent time on the computer, made the bed, did devotion. Had cereal as I watched the preacher man. The whole theme of his preaching is that we are a part of the covenant that God made with Abraham.

From there I skipped rope, paid the bills that have come in and wrote a rent cheque. Soon it was 11:30am, head phones. Listening to the Ipod, I started cleaning. I listen to Abba, Bob Marley and songs in my language.

Then I found a small pipe. Kind of long and my beloved husband said it is a crystal meth pipe. BH threw the pipe away and said game over for the girl. for all your words you and Bobbie and I am glad BH has come to the realization that the girl is only using us. She only came over when she was in trouble like her health or when she was high on substance. The visits were becoming more frequent.

Anyway, I vacuumed and tidied my desk. Then I emembered that I had not vacuumed upstairs. I dragged the vacuum cleaner out, , vacuumed upstairs and it was 1:50pm. Time to stop cleaning and get ready for work. I warmed up left over Chinese rice with ham. While the food was warming I did a smudge.

I force fed myself and then came to work. I am at work now and getting ready to go for my break. That will take me to the labyrinth. After work I will go shopping for grocery and the weekend is very welcome. I must remember to say the candle prayers as well.

Homerx, enjoy your trip.

Lovingly
Mson

We not only share our thoughts and hopes and dreams but we share our souls and that is why we can know what is truly going on within each other. I thank God for you Homer and Mson.

No, Lee is not coming back in. I know this sounds really mean but I talk to him and a tiny part of me even though I am listening to him with caring, is secretly glad that he is going through this pain. Because pain was his main thing, dishing it out to others and just deciding if and when he could love you. Now he is very sad and unhappy. It didn't have to be that way. But, I am not his mommy and cannot help him anymore Homer. You know exactly what I mean.

So does Mson. I thank God for you every single day and Max too.

I lowered the price on the B&B hopefully I will get some business. Love to all of you.

Bobbie

Always nice to hear from you. I miss you. Always praying

Who is Max?

You are a very good writer.

xoxo
Mson

Max is Beline. She is a super person.

The guys are out there working thinning the leaves to expose the Cabernet. I can't believe harvest is only two months away. How our lives fly by.

Love,

Bobbie

Bobbie, thanks for telling me about who Max. She is hilarious.

I slept in upto 11:00am or so. Had breakfast and watched a preacher man. And a movie on family channel.

Then the phone rang. It was an old friend saying I should meet her today at 4:15pm.

She wanted us to meet mbae the labyrinth. So it was not an inconvenience for me. I prayed to God that whatever she wanted, that God may guide me on how to answer her.

She is a good woman. When she came here she would hear gossip about me from the African community and she looked for me. One day, she was in my audience and she was very happy to see me. When my parents came over for the wedding in 2005, she gave them a duplicate of her house keys so that they can go rest there away from the in laws. Good woman I say.

I kept wondering what the woman wanted to tell me and I prayed to God to help me. I went to the labyrinth and sat on a bench. I waited for a while listening to my ipod and then the woman showed up. She told me that I looked that like the first presiden't wife. I had a blue jean shirt, black pants that go below the knee, the green scarf from Homerx, sunglasses and a sisal like hat from the Gap.

The lady said that she comes to that very bench for her break. She eats and people pass her. Today she had an African bread - chapati and coffee. While we were talking and while she was getting the food ready, one of the grounds keeper came and sat down and he was offered a coffee. I was offered a banana and half a chapati. I was in heaven. Then we started walking towards her work away from the goundkeeper.

She told me that her sister came to North America as a student and now her visa is expiring. She wanted to know if I knew anybody who would marry the sister who is a nun! She said i knew many white people. That they get married then after 2 years they will have a divorce.

When I came home and told my husband, he said they don't know who I am and they think I am more common than I am. She told me to think about it.

It is here. We are sitting around naked. My husband is completely naked but I am wearing an army underwear. It is that time of the month. I use pads.

We are having spaghetti left overs with extra meat. Pork I believe. My husband is naked in the kitchen. I told my beloved husband I could be naked more and he said he knows and acknowledges that I am very responsible.


Always with love and light.
Mson

Sundays are my stay at home day. Do nothing day.

I don't know what time I woke up but I knew I was up. I had cereal as I watched the preacher man. Then watched another and another. It is Sunday after all.

Went to see the herbalist. He said my immune system is stronger but not perfect. He gave me some herbs again. The whole consultation and herbs cost $23. That's herbs for 4 days.

Came home and had lunch and watched more TV.

Soon it was time for us to go out for dinner. We went to an East Indian restaurant. We were celebrating 5 years to the date since we started dating.

It was June 29, 03. A new moon. My beloved husband came to the medical marijuana club while I was working at the desk. He told me that he wanted to take me out for lunch at the end of my shift. I asked if we could go mbae my rooming house. We had been friends for 4 years and never been to each others home. While we were there in my rooming house, we sat on the love seat that we just disposed and he touched my knee. I thought to myself that I must do something quick. I put my leg on his lap. That was it, we were hooked. We went for lunch - then came back to my rooming house to do the do. Five years today. We have made big progress in five years. Thanks be to God and to prayers like Bobbie's and Homerx.

My BH was telling me that he tried to touch many girls knees without success. One girl even told him that she felt violated. I knew he was talking to me mbae touching my knee and I had to speak back. Thank God I was aware enough to know what was happening.

I am just boiling the herbs to take them early tomorrow morning.

May God bless us all.

Hugfully
Mson.

Woke up 10:30am. I was up earlier to swallow the Chinese herbs. Had breakfast as I watched the preacher. Watched a cartoon and bagged garbages for Beloved husband to take out.

From there I skipped rope.

It was then time to treat my hair. I do it every two weeks. Every three months I go to the salon for a relaxer and a trim. Trying to look presentable and saving $$ at the same time.

12:48pm I was waiting to smoke the first of the day. I don't know how to roll. We watched Cheers. I held BH hand as we sat on the love seat. I feel really close to him. Because we have invested time and effort into our relationship. We had lunch We made each a sandwich. I had the black forest ham, BH had roast beef. We watched another episode of Cheers.

1:34pm, I had more

When I got off the shower this morning, BH asked me if I put my juice in the freezer. Then we remembered that he was the last one with the juice. Funny guy. The juice is still frozen. I love pineapple juice.

BH asked me if I wanted to watch something and I thought about it for a minute and said music. Then I quickly changed my mind and said we watch something. My BH doesn't kid around. He told me that he had already exist the watching thingi on the TV and now he was putting music. I have trouble deciding something unless that thing is really obvious for me. Please pray for me in this area.

The music we were listening to was Kenny Rogers. "...You never count your money, while you are sitting at the table..." Music is good says my BH as he goesk back to work at his work station at home. I had to lay down on the love seat because I was feeling tired. It was 1:54pm.

2:57 pm, BH brings me home a strawberry milkshake. Yummy. I am with my man

4:57pm, I had some milk.

5:45pm I finished polishing my toe nails. I have been thinking about it for a few days but today I just did it. is here. I had the polish which really surprised me. That is what inspired me.

Wouldn't bother with the finger nails other than trimming. The dish washing does a number to the polish.

Finally at 6:25pm, I went to walk the labyrinth. I was feeling lazy the whole day.

7:29pm I got home after saying my prayers and I started to do the dishes. I can almost always see the depression lifting up.

While I was out praying I went shopping for more juice

I have boiled the herbs. Drinking some lemon zinger tea because I feel like a cold is coming in.

We had onion, mushroom, jalapeño, cheese, bacon, buns and Italian sausages.

Tonight I get my weekly massage because we missed it last night. I gave BH his on Friday. I have made a commitment that if it is my day to give him a massage, I will find the time and energy to do so. We started the massage thing in 2007. It was my New year's resolution. To give my BH a massage every Friday. It did not take long when he started massaging me. Without my asking. See?

It is 10:26pm. Bedtime for Bonzo.

I missed doing the candle prayers but tomorrow is another day.

Always with love
Mson

Oh! Young Love!!!! You are a lucky woman to have BH there by your side loving you. You are blessed.

Working every day doing the tying down of the vineyard new baby plants. It is rewarding and I can see progress.

Love and Later,

Bobbie

That was my beloved husband on the phone. The batteries died before we had finished. I hate when that happens. The phone is on the charger.

Boobie for writing something. One can all over sudden feel very lonely without Homerx or you my dear. You always have encouraging words. I am very blessed to have my man. He called me to say there were sausages in the fridge and vodka in the freezer. I don't want to drink with those herbs you know.

Glad to hear you are out working. Don't over do it and have fun.

This morning I up at 5;30am to take the herbs. Then I woke up for real at 9:54am. Had devotion, checked the computer, made the bed. Wrote my sister in law a birthday message.

10:36am breakfast and watching the preacher man.

11:17am. First of the day.

Finished skipping rope 11:35am.

Took a few minutes to plan the day.

I probably don't need a timetable but I will make one last one. I haven't read for days. See? I need a timetable.

11:42am, BH left for his sister's birthday.

Watched Bill Cosby or is it Crosby?

Geez, I should be doing laundry. I better get ready...

12:04pm laundry room busy. It was all my fault. I should have remembered it is laundry day. I need a timetable no doubt. Anyway, tomorrow is another day. I need not to sleep so much in the morning. As kids we were always forced out of bed early. Sometimes I fill it is pay back time. Other times I tell myself that my body needs to heal. And other times I think I ma taking too much olanzopine.

We haven't washed our comforter since it was bought for us as a wedding present. We have been using it since 2005. *shame*. So I want to wash it and put it away for the summer while we cover ourselves with a lighter one given mbae this lady who I cleaned houses for. Mrs Hazel Francis - may she and Pete rest in peace. They hailed from Britain accent and all.

12:06pm. Went to tackle the dishes. Put on some music, turned off the TV. If I did not do that simple thing of turning the TV off, I might not have got on my feet.

1:05pm, sat down to have lunch. Cups, glasses, plates, cutlery - all clean.

1:16pm started candle prayers. Took 8 minutes. I had never timed myself for the candle prayer. I have lit candles for a long time but never thought to say a prayer.

1:28pm, I decided to do the rest of the dishes. The grill, pots and pans, and cutting boards.

2:13pm, dishes finished, enough time to do my hair. Music off, left for work at 2:24 and ran there for 2:30pm I made it on time. It is a 10 minute walk.

I worked till 7:15pm. Had break in which I did the labyrinth. My Friday shift has been moved to Saturday. Now I work Tues, Thurs, and Sat. I will take any shift I get. Thank you Jesus.

After work I was talking to another lady who works there and I was telling her she is human. She asked that I get given her for the day. We get something to smoke during the break and she gave me hers. Isn't that something? I was quivering as I was talking to her. She is and she carries herself with confidence and she told me I am a strong woman and and I can do it too.

The birds are singing outside. I will warm up a sausages and all the goodies and eat while I sit on the balcony and listen to the birds. Guess, what, and just like that, the birds are gone. I sure enjoyed their music though. Food is warming.

Better eat. 8:50pm.

Love you Bobbie. Thanks for reading.

Always
Mson

Is you leave a map of who you are and where you have been and where you are going. Not a lot of people on this planet have the slightest clue of any of those very important facts.

I love you Mson. To read of your journey is a priviledge that you share. You are in so many ways an innocent soul and I treasure you for that. Do you realize how many people are out there reading your words of truth and encouragement and feeling hope, real hope? Many Muthoni. May God bless you in all good ways.

Bobbie

for the kind words. Those words really touched me. I really appreciate that you take the time to write.

It is 10:16pm and I don't feel like writing but writing I must.

Woke up at 9:41am. It was the phone. On the phone was Mbuthia living with AIDS that my mother gave my phone number to in Kenya. I crawled back into bed to say devotion and it was 10:24am when I finally woke up.

10:37am, I better see if I can do laundry.

10:51am the bedcovers are on the wash. Time for breakfast and the preacher man.

11:36am, I am doing laundry. It is in the dryer. Time to skip rope. Must drink water.

It ended up it was the wife of the preacher preaching. She was preaching about how God is our protector. He fights the battles for us. I am waiting for laundry to dry. Time to have a 11:46am.

12:12pm, A staff member called and asked if I wanted to work this afternoon in exchange for another day. She wanted next Friday afternoon. I had to say no because she will never do an exchange for somebody else's benefit but she will gladly take someone's shift. She said I am usually awesome.

12:23pm. Timer goes off, laundry is done. The bedding was not completely dry so I spread the light one on the bed - sky blue with flowers - very nice. The leopard one I hang mbae the tub. It will dry. Did not feel like spending another $1:50 on the dryer with the sun out

12:32pm light the candle and pray. First I finish . Few tokes left.

12:54pm prayers ended. It is a form of meditation that I am discovering.

Music on. "My father's eyes" - Eric Clapton.

It is time to have lunch - the last of the sausages. Thank you Lord for food. I went to check what the timetable said to do and it indicated lunch break of 30 minutes was ending.

1:49pm, Beloved husband comes home with Chris. I have done collage and now I am coloring with numbers. Thanks Homerx. Back to coloring.

I need a longer cord for my headphones so that I can listen to my music as I do arts and craft. These guy's don't like my style of music. When they came in, I was listening to "I will survive"

2:07pm. I spent time collaging and coloring for about 45 minutes. Time to get ready for the labyrinth walk.

While coloring, I noted that I was using the wrong color. So I had to re-color pink for green.

2:30pm off to the labyrinth,

It is 4:09pm now and I have been home for a while.

Time passed mbae and soon we were going to the club games. My beloved husband's team won. Later we went out for dinner and just got back. Took my medication and boiled the herbs for tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow is another day. It is 10:47pm, bed time for Bonzo. God bless us all.

Love always
Mson