I woke up at 9:38am. It was my husband saying how nice the love seat was. I told him how much I paid for it and he said I did well. He also stated that I know how much he likes his comfort.

He handed me a beer and after he had done checking in with his computer, we sat down and watched Penn and Teller bulls**!t. I had some cereal as beer is not really a breakfast thing. But I like when my beloved treats me like an equal.

Then my beloved had a bath. They called me to go to work for 2:30pm. I was changing my clothes when my beloved stripped naked. I was naked too and he asked if I wanted to do it. I hesitated for a moment then I said

We feel good.

I have lit the candle and prayed for all those who have gone before us, prayed for the grandfathers and grandmothers, prayed for Homerx, Bobbie, all those have died through violence. All those who have died through drunken driving. Prayed for mothers in law everywhere. Prayed for the world, etc. Prayed for Andrew, David and Richard. Prayed for my mother and Jessy.

I did a smudge and now I will get ready for work. But first we are going to have lunch in the mall. We are leaving in twenty minutes. I better get ready.

Thanks very much for your prayers for they have allowed us to have God's favour. Like being called for two extra shifts one after the other. That's God's favour.

Always
Mson.

Hi. Well, its been another one of those days. Rick just called. he locked the keys in the car. He has done that 3 times this year and AAA has run out for him so he is using my card. He just called. What a scatter brain!! So he is in a bad mood and i have a headache and really don't feel like dealing with any drama or yelling or anything like that so I hope he comes home and doesn't decide to go off on me because i will get in his face. I am not in a very good mood so I have stayed off here today and not talked to any one. When I get this way it is best if I stay to myself and now this. Give me patience,Lord. Give me patience,Lord And a deep breath and I feel better...a little.
OK, just had to get that out...talk later,hope yall are doing better than I am...

I think I figured out why I am in such a sour mood. Its Melba's birthday and i used to send her flowers and a card and now we don't speak and it sucks...I wish I could erase her from my mind forever..

I am sorry you have having such a rough day. I almost feel guilty for having a really happy day.

Sorry to hear about the car keys. These things happen. Do you really think Ricky is a scatter brain

Last week Rosemary and my father phoned me on speaker phone. Daddy started mbae saying that it is a long time since he had written or spoken to me. I was so surprised that I did not know what to talk about. I just told them that we are all fine and asked what time it was there. It was about 5:00am there. My mother said that when she wakes up at 3:00am to pray , she does not go back to bed.

That really touched me.

She was telling me that it is really cold where they live. She asked if it was summer here and I was explaining that the sun has not hit us yet even though it is summer. She also said that there is no food in the country.

There was war in the country last winter and it seems the country has not recovered. So I prayed to God that next time I have $76, I will send it to Rosemary. So $60 and the rest is the charge to send the money. I can do this.

I am glad that she is making effort to be friend's with me. That is all that I asked in the poem. That it was her turn to make friends with me.

POEM - Posted: 05-13-08 21:38pm

I appreciate that when I was born
You did not throw me out
You wiped my bum and gave me a breast.

Then depression crawled in and you
were a monster
One I fear to upset up to this date.

Mama I pray for you daily
That your soul may heal
That you may enjoy your olden days.

I have forgiven you Mama
For the physical and verbal abuse
I understand you were ill.

I am crying mama
Because I wish you were a normal Mama
But you are who God gave me

My path is different from yours
You cannot beat me now
You are NOT the boss of me.

Please understand Mama
I did the best to bring us together
The rest is up to you.

If we don't connect again
That is fine too
Even Homerx survives alone

Anyway, just wanted to say
Happy Mothers Day
To you Rosemary.

It is me
Muthoni.


I forgive easily.

I will be praying for you Homerx and I doubt you will ever forget Melba.

Love
Mson

Thanks,Mson. I cant forget although I wish I could I know I never will..its a scar on my soul. The wound may heal but the scar will always be there to remind me of the mother I lost. I dont think she ever really liked me anyway,much less loved me. I am gay,she says she doesnt care but she does. She treats my other 2 brothers with respect and patience...I get the cold shoulder. But whatever...Oh, by the way, yeah Ricky is a scatter brain. he has locked the keys in the car several times and lost them once...but I love him. Very very much. He is my world and I thank god for him and his unconditional love.
I remember your poem to your mother...very sweet...you are rebuilding your relationship and that makes me happy. You are a better and more forgiving person than I.

I go through all this great fear on my property and letting Lee con me into putting a loan on my house. Now, went into the bank and the interest rate has gone up a full 1% which means my payments will be $180.00 more per month. Very scary. I kept telling him I didn't want to do this. But, here I am.

Like you said Homer, Lee slides right on by using other's people good faith, love and money.

The thing about how we are treated is truly a scar on our souls and in our hearts. You can remove the person from your immediate presence, but the scar remains. Let us be kind to our children, for children are forever. They truly are a gift from God.

One day, we will all get old. Let us hope to have somebody with us who loves us.

Mson, lucky girl! I loved your romantic interlude with BH. If I could be so lucky!

Love,

Bobbie

I will miss you when you are gone but I will continue to pray for you my dear.

Sorry you are having such a rough day. I bet it is one of those days where you feel like you have been hit mbae a truck or hit mbae a ton of bricks. A nice bath should do the trick. I don't know.

Homerx it is not that I am a better and more forgiving that you. No way my friend. It is that my mother had to discover that her grand daughter was dead. I have seen her face very sad during my daughter's funeral. I have a video of the funeral. I am rebuilding the relationship for my late daughter's sake. They were such good friends you would never have thought I had problems with mother for having Jessy.

I remember talking to my mother on the phone days after Jessy had died in 1997 and she was saying she wished it was one of her children who had died in place of Jessy. And a man (late Magu) asked her "Which one of your children." And she had no answer. She did the dirty work for me concerning Jessy. I feel that I owe her friendship if nothing else.

I thought you were being rude about Ricky being a scatter brain but I guess it is like my beloved husband being untidy. He has gotten better over the years. I understand.

Hope your day brightens.

Love
Mson

I am very sorry to hear about the mess at the bank and all that stuff with Lee. I will continue praying for you. About the romance, I got goose bumps. I love you Bobbie.

Mson

Get goose bumps means you are touched by the Holy Spirit and truth. It is called an affirmation.

Love,

Bobbie

Good Morning.my friends. Thank you both for your kind words. It means so much to me. You don't know. Yes, scatter brain isn't an insult...it just means forgetful. But I still could smack him in the head some times
It is HOT HOT HOT out side! I dont like it. My brother in Atlanta has a pool. He asked what did I want to do when I got there. I said go to the concert and sit by the pool and in the hot tub and . I dont care about running all over Atlanta going her and there. I just want to chill and relax.
OK, I have a bit of running around to do...post office, the store. Rickys birthday is Thursday. I got him a couple of cards. I dont know what to get him. He said he wants tile for the bedroom. The carpet has already been removed. I guess I will tell him to puck out the tile and that will be a good gift.
I Love You both,
Homie
[quote="Roberta777"]Get goose bumps means you are touched by the Holy Spirit and truth. It is called an affirmation. interesting...I didnt know that!

Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When your heart’s heavy, I
I will lift it for you
Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you, I
I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt
That you hide
When you’re lost inside, I
I’ll be there to find you

Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you I
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

You are loved



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls7ila3srzI

Homerx,

Beautiful song. Never heard it before. I am downloading it for my collection. JOSH GROBAN - DON'T GIVE UP (YOU ARE LOVED). I liked it my dear. You have great taste of music. And scarfs. And coloring books. I have started coloring mbae numbers.

I woke up at 9:00am. No alarm clock. Yeah! I did what I had never done ever. I put a bowl of cereal and sat on the new love seat and watched Creflo preach. That is a much better way of having breakfast as compared to eating and trying to do something on the computer. messing up the keyboard. :confused:You see how one change in the home can bring much more? I mean like getting a nice leather couch.

Then I went to the cartoon section and I thought to myself, the child within me is fine and well. Beloved husband said that when I know which ones I like, he will tape them for me. He is very encouraging that way.

I skipped rope, more than 150. I am not sure mbae how much. This morning I was with needle and thread mending my tights. I am really getting in touch with whom I am. Time to change the timetable again.

I had a crocheted blanket that I used to put under the old rugged love seat. I used it as a rug for the dining area. Nice place for the Gandalf the cat. I changed a few things around. I am feeling good praise be to God Almighty Creator of heaven and earth. Amen!

Homerx and Bobbie.

Guess what happened? Every British Columbian was give a $100 mbae the government. Money from God I tell ya. It is God's favour. It is your prayers being answered.

Isn't that something?

I lit the candle and prayed all that I mentioned plus praying for people who die in violence. Praying for those living with HIV/AIDS, praying for Andereza, James, Reyona, Flora, Gabriel. And as I finished, the door bell rang. It was Chris.

We were supposed to be going for Pascale's stagette (sp) out of town. I canceled when I realised we were going for two nights instead of one. I did not want to miss two days of work. I really didn't want to go. I felt intimidated mbae women with well paid jobs. What would I wear instance. One of the women is in fashion. Too much headache for me.. I really did not have the budget for it. I hear two more people canceled after me and I hear Pascale is not very happy. But I am not thinking about that.

I made tea and then I got ready. I am going to have something to eat. Infact, it is rice from yesterday's Chinese food. For a moment I thought I had to go out for food but food is in the fridge. Thanks Jesus.

I hope to be able to cash the check today so that I can send Mami the $60. Bless her soul.

I am on to warming the rice. Heading to work after that.

Let's keep praying for one another.

xoxo
Mson

And say what you feel. If you don't want to go to a social function, don't. Be always true to yourselves. I like my life and don't feel the need to go to places I am not comfortable with.

Homer you are going to have a great time in Atlanta. The pool and spa sound great and you deserve a good vacation. The concert sounds fantastic. Enjoy yourself and I can tell you are like a little boy, full of excitement and expectation. Hope you have a good airline and a good seat. Mson and I will be praying you have a great time and will meet some good people on the plane to talk to. I somehow see this grandmotherly type, a bit like Bobbie, talking your ear off.

Then I got the picture of Wesley Snipes in Passenger 93. Remember when the Stu decided to get even with him and brought this lady up to sit beside him. He clearly wanted to put his pillow over her mouth to shut her up, but that wouldn't have worked. Now see, it is your fault for sending me that joke. I can't stop laughing.

Some people have thanked me for forwarding it on to them and that maybe that will stop some of that c**p.

Love,

Bobbie

Oh Bobbie, i love you. I hope I sit by some one just like you and she and i yak it up aall the way to Atlanta!
You and Mson...what did I do before I had you in my life I dont know and don't want to think about it!Mson,I agree with Bobbie...dont ever do anything or go anywhere you dont want to. Life is 2 short to wast time with pretentious people and doing things you hate..of course we all have to do things we don't like, such as clean house, go to the bathroom, take pills,and stuff like that BUT praise God we have the house to clean, the pills to take and the bowls to poop!!! ( I cant believe I said that!!!)
Thanks guys...really. I love you.
xoxo,Homer/Steve

Honestly, you made my day today. Woke up worried about this debt but my heart is lighter now Homer. Thanks for being exactly YOU. You are exactly what God had in mind when he made you at the beginning of the world. You have love, compassion, honest caring, the ability to stop to listen to another, love in your heart and soul. I think that is the prototype God had in mind when he created us.

Honestly, the same goes for Muthoni. She has a heart as wide as the ocean and she is loved.

Bingo! With you, he is happy indeed for finally one of his children loves and is loved. That is all he wants for us. The opposite is well you know and I won't spoil this message by using the word. Let us avoid people who live by that rule.

Love,

Bobbie

Bobbie...I had to laugh when you wouldn't say his name Thats my girl! I am so proud of you for dealing with that mess as long as you did. I know it hasn't been EZ 4 U...and you are a stronger woman for having to deal with the BS. It may not seem worth it now but one day you will look back and say "wow...am I glad he is out of me life forever" . Its weird,if he hadnt given you HPV then we would have never met...the Lord works in mysterious ways,MDSL.
have a great nite
Love,Homer

Thanks for being such wonderful friends. This is the coolest forum ever and I have been to many.

Do you remember the story of the guy who told me that he wanted to kill himself. Well, today he brought me a hand made peace sign to put on my neck. Wooden and painted green, blue, yellow and red. Same design like your avatar Homerx...I thought that was really neat. The things I love are coming to me. It is good medicine.

I have been on my break and used the time to go to the labyrinth and pray for all of us.

Work is over in about 45 minutes and then we have a monthly staff meeting. From there I will go to send money to Mami and mbae a calling card. Thanks Jesus. Then I will call home at about 10:00am.

Thanks for understanding about the not going to places I don't want to. The organizer was trying to get me to go and I told her I couldn't. I explained to Pascale that I could not afford to miss two days of work. She seemed to understand then but she is upset because other ladies refused to go as well. I am the maid of honour but that does not mean that I get subjected to things we cannot afford.

You both ROCK!! Love, Mson.

And why prayer works in my life. I honestly wake up and pray for you and this morning had so many overwhelming worries about things until I realized that it was a spiritual attack and said no. Get behind me. Like Homer says, Satan knows how to hit you and hit you hardest in your doubts and fears. My priest says it is true too. That keeps us from focusing on God and the happiness we have in our lives.

Mson, I am proud of you for not going. Never go to a place that you do not wish to go to. You are your own woman and a proud and good woman. Look at the happiness you have found in your beautiful new country and how they truly appreciate you.

Like Homer said, if that guy hadn't given me HPV, I would never have been blessed to have met you. Isn't that quite amazing? I know Homer is right. God DOES work in mysterious ways, but they are not mysterious to Him. He knows good and well what He is doing today, tomorrow and please God always.

Love you dear friends,

Bobbie

After the meeting at work I went to send the money to Mami and then I called her over the computer (my beloved husband did the connections) and I was able to talk to Mami and Ndandi first the phone disconnected after 10 minutes. We did not know why but it was the setting on the computer. I talked with them for about 25 minutes in total.

Get this, when Mami picked up the phone she hesitated. She thought it was the girl from Austria. I hear she is a con woman. So Mami was excited to hear it was me. She was like "Praise God!" She talked about the con woman, she told of how she wakes up other people to pray at 3:00am. She talked and talked and I laughed and laughed.

Then I asked her if she had a pen. I told that I had sent her $60. She started to tell me how yesterday my dad was saying that they should sell the chicken. They even had a buyer but my mother said no. The chicken start laying next month. So she was very excited about the $60 and told me that she felt like crying. I told her it was money from the government for free. She was very happy. She said she will mbae two sacks of chicken feed. Hallelujah.

Thanks very much for holding me in your prayers. I cut my mother off for less than a month and now we are back like never before. Thanks very much Homerx and Bobbie. May God truly bless you. Your health, mind and spirit. May He provide for you financially just like He has for me. In Jesus name. Amen.

I want to take her easy. I am protecting myself this time.

The day is done. It is 11:23pm. I must head to bed.

Geez I forgot to mbae laundry soap. Oh well if that is the worst thing that happened to me today, I am having a fabulous day/night.

With love and light
Mson

Good Morning. Mson, I am happy you talked to your Mami and were able to help her out. That is very kind of you.
Tomorrow is Rickys birthday! I got him a couple of cards and am going to get some steaks and bake potatoes and vegies... what else do I need to get him He doesn't care for cake but i got strawberry short cake,he likes that. I cant believe I leave on Saturday for a week You know I want you to keep an eye on the forum and help me out cuz I wont be on line except maybe to check in...thanks in advance, I know you will keep an eye on the posts and answer what you can as you always do any way.
OK, I am having coffee and oat mill, put some whites in the washer and then to the post office and store. Talk to you later.Hope you had a great sleep last night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga0JE5Y-8I8
Singing to the world
Its time we let the spirit come in
Let it come on in
I'm singing to the world
Everybody's caught in the spin
Look at where we've been
We've been running around
Year after year
Blinded it with pride
Blinded it with fear

But its daybreak
If you wanna' to beleave
It can be daybreak
Ain't no time to grieve
Say its daybreak
If you 'll only beleave
And let it shine,shine,shine all around the world

Singing to the world
What's the point of puttin' it down
There's so much love to share
I'm singing to the world
Don't you see it all comes around
The feeling's every where
Where we've been closing our eyes
Day after day
Cover in clouds losin' our way

Hey but its daybreak
If you wanna' to beleave
It can be daybreak
Ain't know time to grieve
And its daybreak
And if you only beleave
And then let it shine,shine,shine all around the world

And its daybreak
If you wanna' to believe
It can be daybreak
Ain't no time to grieve
And its daybreak
And if you only believe
Then let it shine,shine,shine all around the world
Come on and let it
Shine,shine,shine all around the world

Hey and its daybreak
Can you feel it
And its daybreak
Can't you sing it
That its daybreak
Sunshine

I love that song. I tried to download the John Groban one to no success. I can book mark and listen to it from Utube.

I don't know what time I woke up today but I did wake up and did devotion and made the bed as usual. I came to look at the computer and then I decided to have cereal.

Last night as I was looking for a calling card, I decided to mbae a small milk for my cereal this morning. Anyway, the milk seemed thicker than normal. The expiry date was June 30. I wasted a bowl of cereal and I hate wasting food.

I called beloved husband and he brought home some milk. I watched the preacher man and some cartoons.

Then I was inspired to go for a walk to the labyrinth. I went via the bank to start paying off the love seat. I was in a grateful mood and just thanked God and did not do my usual prayers but I hope to find time to do the usual. I am not worried anymore that is for sure and there is some change happening inside. My mind is not racing and my heart is not in pain. Now if only the body can relax...

Watch me, it is 3:55pm and I am going on the balcony to jump rope...3:59pm I am back after doing more than 150 skips. You see how you motivate me my dear. I didn't think I was going to skip today and now I feel so wonderful.

It is 4:00pm. I will go and light the candle and say the candle prayers...4:07pm and I have finished the prayers. The things that I sometimes delay doing take at most ten minutes. I must press on. It is 4:08pm and I am going to do the smudge...4:11pm, I am done. I did my thing from 3:55pm - 4:11pm. Very few minutes. I am poor in math. My BH says it adds up to 16 minutes. I must be disciplined.

Now I am going to see if I can do laundry. I bought some laundry soap while I was out. I hate when they change anything about my soap. This time they changed the container. It looks like a different soap. I better check the laundry room. brb...

The laundry room is busy. I'll tidy the kitchen instead.

Nice chatting. I am gonna miss you while you are gone.

Seriously, you found your suitcase yet?

Love
Mson