Thank you for your uplifting words of encouragement. Believe me, I need them today. I awoke this morning thinking of little else but Lee. I guess letting go of love, even bad love takes time. He can be so abusive in what he does and says to me. I believe that he somehow had it in his head this was his place. He said these are his babies, don't seperate him from his babies. No. They are not. He only was the vineyard manager and was way over paid and in fact cheated me out of a lot of money. That right there is reason enough for termination.

The dye has been cast. The new manager and my original manager are coming on Tuesday to plan the future of my vineyards. No turning back now.

I would so love to come see you Mson, but gas is so expensive and until I can get these vineyard blocks on a timing watering system, I can't go anywhere. Lee calmly tried to tell me not to worry about climbing up and down and falling, just turn them on once a week for six hours. I did the math that still comes to 4 1/2 days a week then another 1 1/2 days for the other vineyards. It still works out the same. One day off. I honestly don't mind but I am getting old and can't keep this up forever.

Please pray for me Mson. I know God holds us in the palm of his hand. Bless you, Jessy and BH and all of your family, from the beginning of time until the end of time.

Love,

Bobbie

Bobbie, I pray for you daily but Sunday but it is good to know what to pray for.

You say he was abusive? He should be long gone. Verbal abuse is really bad. It leaves a mark. He has lost all his points as far as I am concerned. He left more than a mark, he left HPV. In fact I am impressed at how you have handled him. It would have been uglier if it was me.

You are like me Bobbie. When you love, you love deeply. Sorry that he did not love as deeply.

Tuesday will be here soon. You better write and post that termination letter. Don't hesitate Bobbie. I am glad you say no turning back. I will be very happy to hear that you have mailed the letter.

Don't worry, if it is God's will that we all meet, we shall.

Yes the timed watering system will be good for you. I hate to hear that you fell while alone in those hills.

That last sentence got me.

I prayed and will continue to pray for you. And may God bless your people as well.

I know a chorus.

We are one in the spirit, we are one in the Lord, we are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord. And they will know we are Christians mbae our love, mbae our love and they'll know we are Christians mbae our love.

May God bless you

With love
Mson

God bless you in all good ways Mson. Thank you for your kindness and support. It just means so much.

I love that song and found myself remembering it and singing it as I read it. Thank you my dear.

My guests are here and are so nice to know them.

Go have dinner and then tomorrow is another day.

Love to you and BH.

Bobbie

U 2 have really been busy,huh? Working out life and all its problems...friendship rules!!! You 2 have that special something that you can only have with someone of the same gender I guess...I am jealous. But happy you have each other...where do I fit in???? Just kidding...I know I fit in there somewhere...
Anyway, let me tell you what has been going on with me for the past 2 days. Ricky and I got tickets for the puppies to fly to California...We drove to Dallas/Ft.Worth International Airport ..we left home at 2:30PM and arrived in DFW Airport at 5PM. The puppies were to fly out at 9:15 PM but we wanted to be there with lots of time to spare, they say be there 2 hours early when shipping cargo. So we sat with the puppies in the lobby, built a little pin so they could get out of there crates and play and stretch, poop,pee and play and eat and have some water.We had P.P. pads and they are good at using them, had everything, tickets, LIVE ANIMAL stickers for there crates and we were ready to let them fly...they said it was still too hot to let the puppies fly!!!! We had been there for almost 5 hours and had driven for 2.5hours to get there. We couldn't believe what we were hearing. I told the lady"we called and they said it would be cool enough". She actually laughed at me!! Ricky said"Do not laugh at us". She said I didn't. A man behind us said "Yes you did and I saw you". She said she was sorry but she was trying to lighten the situation. The situation was that if it is over 81 degrees then the animals can not fly. It was 83 degrees...2 degrees difference!!! I said why didn't she tell us earlier as she was there the whole time. She said she thought it would be cooler... she just didn't care...she was a bit*h...ugly attitude that showed on her face and in her spirit. I told Ricky when we got there that she looked mean...and she was. Anyway, to make a long story short, we drove all the way back home with those 5 puppies and now we have to drive back to DFW Airport at 3AM to get them on a flight at 5:30AM...that is if it is cool enough...I am keeping an eye on the weather channel, its supposed to be 73 tonight so here we go again Lord! I pray that they take them, let them fly and we and they all make it home alright. We are going to be exhausted so pray for us that we have a safe trip. It also cost us 100 dollars in gas and food yesterday and all for nothing... I am so tired and yet I have to go 250 miles to DFW at 3AM... calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean....
So thats my drama...
Anyway, Mson, I loved that song by Love Inc....I am going to download it for my mp3 player...I LOVE it!!! Thats my kind of music...
OK, guess I better get back to work...got to clean the cages and bath the puppies and get everything ready then maybe nap for a hour or 2...if I can sleep... have you ever been so tired you couldn't sleep??
Love you galls....Ricky is off tomorrow so I will talk to yal Tuesday probably. have a good night...be safe... Homer

What an ordeal. So sorry.

I wondered where you were yesterday and I had no idea you were going through so much. Very well written my friend. I feel you. I will be praying for you as usual but now I know what to pray for. I thought maybe you were takin Saturday off. I don't know.

That's too bad that the woman found the situation humorous while you didn't think so. She is not the one who had driven for hours or had to build a pen or it pin? She didn't have to mind the puppies. She was definitely not the one who had to drive back with puppies and spend a hundred dollars. Some people's children!

Glad you loved the song. I like it too.

Right now I am listening to the one you shared. Am alive - Celine Dion.

Where is your jealous growing from? Seriously. Is it insecurity, fear, deception, or covetousness. I have felt left out like that time I didn't know you had purchased the oil and the wine from Bobbie. I was deceiving myself. I guess we are still human beings with feelings.

Hope you feel better soon.

Why do you say we'll talk on Tuesday and then you add the word probably? You must be really tired and I am glad you are resting up.

Know that I am praying.

After searching for a church on TV, I can now tape Creflo Dollar everyday of the weekdays and Joel Osteen and T D Jakes, once a week on Sundays. Those are prayers and thanks to you and Bobbie and others for the prayers. I needed to feast spiritually. I like being preached at.

I really needed some spiritual input but I did not want to tie myself with a church. God finally answered my prayers as I ask him daily to let my feet follow the right path.

Be safe as well. See you Tuesday if you feel up to it. Hope you are up to it because I miss you and I love working side mbae side with you.

Lovingly
Mson

I am tired...I said I was jealous but I was joking....I am very happy you and me and Bobbie have each other. I am glad you watch Church TV but don't be sending them money...OK? If you want to give for God then you know what to do...give to the homeless or the shelters or food pantries but don't send your money to televangelists please... They are rich already...OK, I have to run, talk to you soon...xoxo,Homer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lyZd0JZCK0 &feature=related

Mavis Staples is SO good...they all are but her voice is amazing.I hope you enjoy it..love ya...

It takes me a while to figure out Scorpio jokes. Hahaha.

When I was going through the TV programes to see which ones I liked, I saw how they ask for money. I was even convinced to mbae a book which I am now reading. Yes I have to be very care. Absolutely no financial support for them.

There is a guy who preaches and gives out green prayer cloths. I asked for one soon after we got cable. Then my beloved husband was asking me if I had given out our number to some church people. Their recording machine called him. He was not amused. To date, I have not got my prayer green cloth. But do I really need it?

Remember how you always say to talk to the doctor before doing supplementary or is it complimentary therapy. Anyway, I have to go to the walk in clinic tomorrow because my feet have been swelling during the day. I started a new AIDS medication on January 10 and I have been making tea with goji berries for two weeks now and I have also been putting hemp hearts in my cereal for two weeks. I hear too much protein can make the feet swell. I really noticed it when we were out camping. I have read that it could be something to do with the kidneys. Geez.

Please pray for me. I just want more fighter cells. Last test I took I had 260 CD4 count per cubic milliliter. I would like to get to three hundred and later aiming at 400. The goji berries are supposed to help the immune system. I hope it is not the goji berries. I can do without the hemp hearts. Today I skipped them and I still saw my feet swell. Oh well. I should have listened to you.

I loved Mavis Staples, her personality, her confidence and she can really do the neck thing. Shaking her head. She has control of the mike. Thanks for sharing.

You are in my prayers.

Love
Mson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFHbwikzNds &feature=related

Mson, what new drug are you on? I am on Atripla now. It is 3 meds in one..I had 25 T cells at one time, now I have 458...I started on Trizavear and had a bad allergic reaction to it..then I was on Combavear and Sustive and then my doctor told me to not take herbal meds or vitamins because they can interact with your HIV meds...tell your doc everything that you take or drink. Be careful with herbals...they can have adverse reactions to those of us with HIV/AIDS...it would suck to be hurting yourself when you are trying to make yourself better so please,my love,be very careful with over the counter herbs...
I am going to try to nap before the journey to Dallas... if I cant sleep then i will just drink coffee....
I pray for a safe trip
Talk to you soon, I hope your leg gets better...try a hot salt soak and keep it elevated when you can...I pray for you,sweet love. always...

I really LOVE ABBA! That was great, I had not heard that one before, I thought I new all of ABBAs songs...thank you so much, I will add that to my collection...
P.S. I will send you a prayer cloth, I will sanctify it with my own prayers and send it to you next week, that will be better than there phony ballony green cloth!!!!!!! I believe in that but not when it comes from a greedy place and now they are calling for $$$...I am not surprised. That is trully sinful in my eyes...I will be more than happy to pray for you and send you a prayer cloth for free! Out of LOVE for you, not your $$..
xoxo,Homer

Homer for you and Ricky to drive your precious puppies all that way, stand in line to check them in and have that woman give you attitude!!!!!!!!!! Did you call for her supervisor? Sometimes, people are just downright rude and hateful, let alone ugly, both inside and out.

Like you needed to go through that ordeal. You and Ricky and the puppies too. No. You did not.

The world has become an uglier place Homer with the oil crisis, the housing market, our economy. No getting around it. People are losing their jobs. Gas hit $4.39 here where I live. I try not to drive into town unless I have to and limit $30.00 when I put gas into my cars. Even then, it doesn't come up to 1/2 way full.

Sorry MDSO that you and those you love had to be subjected to that abuse. And, it is abuse. Plain and simple. No getting around it.

You know you are loved, unconditionally by Mson and me and everybody else pretty much on this planet. To meet you, to read your words, to hear your voice, is to love you.

Bobbie

John last night for a long time. He lives in Texas now. He is pretty much going through the same senario I was in with my former BF. A younger guy. Now this guy wants him to put him on his will and onto the deed of his property. I said NO WAY.

We talked about if only the man he loved with all his heart had only been able to make it another four or five years living with AIDS, he would be alive today.

That is such an amazing breakthrough for all of you living with HIV/AIDS. Now you can live. Don wasn't able to make it and he was loved and is so greatly missed. So many good and wonderful people have been lost to this epidemic.

Thank God for all the good you and Mson do to help people living in the fear and sometimes the reality of AIDS. There has to be a reason for everything. Just think of the people who suffer each and every day and do so without hate. Then think of those who blame everybody because their life is not perfect.

Not one single time have I ever seen you or Mson do anything but be more than grateful to get through another day, a day filled with a lot of joy in living, in having a home, someone to love you, food to nourish your bodies, puppies and cats to love you. I know there are a lot of people who would trade places to be in your shoes.

Love MDSO's.

Bobbie

Where are the puppies now? I've been praying.

When they started treating me in 1998 after five years of knowing and no medication, I was put on crixivan, d4t and 3tc. I was taking those three times a day. I used to forget the mid day one and so I was changed to combivir and neverapine. That was two times a day. Then recently I was put on Kivexa and neverapine. Once a day. Three pills once a day. Since the kivexa, I have felt my energy back. I am not dragging myself around. God is good. My usual doctor is in Africa and they sent a specialist from the mainland and that is who changed my medication. God works in mysterious ways. The specialist said that combivir causes fatigue. I was fatigued for the longest time. My psychiatrist and my doctor thought it was the anti psychotic pill that caused fatigue. But no, it was combivir.

I still want to see a Chinese medicine man. I am nuts. I won't say you didn't tell me.

Hope you are having a fun.

xoxo
Mson

Hi guys well, we made it back and the puppies made it to California...thank you God. I have so much cleaning to do but wanted to say hi and let you know we made it OK and to make sure you are OK. Sounds like we are all still here so praise God...
Bobbie, I know what you mean, I have lost all of my friends, I was counting a few days ago how many people I have known that have died from AIDS...I finally guit counting at 152...I couldn't remember any more names, I could still remember faces but there names were gone... ...so many people...makes me wonder why I am still here...everyone, absolutely everyone is gone but me from my old days..
Mson, I took Combivir also...yes, the fatigue was horrible..I took it for a few years and it also raises your cholesterol I think its always something...so how is your leg today,dear? Any better??? I am praying you feel better and can walk and run and skip robe again soon...
Ok, friends, I have to get this house back in order now that the babies are gone...
Talk to you later
Peace and Love and good health,
Homer

Homerx, you are a wonderful writer and you said to Ricky what every Cancer and every person wants to hear. You have thrown the readers insecurity away. You have assurance that you will save their lives. I love you - Mson.

Thanks for asking about my feet. They are not swollen since I stopped taking the goji berries and hemp hearts. I never even went to the clinic. Thanks be to God I am doing well. The swelling did not stop me from doing anything simply because there was no pain.

I slept in a little bit today. I am now having breakfast and then I have to attend to the dishes. I will go for a walk and say my daily prayers and then in the afternoon I am going to work at the club Somewhere in between I will watch a preacher man.

Happy cleaning. It will be like spring cleaning I suppose. The house must feel empty. How is Chache coping?

Did you send the puppies to a pet store or to whom? I don't understand. At which point will they pay off? My tribe the Gikuyu is said to be money minded and so is everybody else to some degree. One big tribe.

Just wanted to say thanks for the poem.

Always
Mson.

Hi Mson....thank you for enjoying my poem...
We sent the puppies to Ricks mom 2 sell 4 us...I hope she does it soon, we are hurting for $$$
like a lot of people I guess. I thought my house was paid up but I called today and we are 1 month behind. I thought we were 2 months ahead...dont know what i did but I messed up. I went to the post office real quick and mailed a check...plus they want 110.00 extra for being late!!! Lord...it never ends. But thats OK, i am not going to get stressed about it...it doesn't do any good. Chache is doing fine...no worries. Anyway, I have to go get the phone...someone calling, Ricks mom...ug!

I skipped rope and smudged and lit a candle and now I am ready for my walk. The kitchen looks wonderful. Beloved husband got a massage last night. Was supposed to do that on Friday and blah blah blah didn't get to it until last night. He didn't mind. Very patient.

Now the house is yours in full? Awesome. That is quite the achievement. You are living the American dream. You are showing me that it is doable. Hope time flies by and I get my permanent resident papers and then I am off to school and it won't be long before I get a job. Eventually I want to do a degree but I have to go to college first.

You are inspiring me. Even people with AIDS outside of hollywood can own houses? Terrific. I was at the corner feeling sorry for myself for many years. Not any more. I am seeing possibilities.

Savages! $110.00 for late fee? Unreal.

Yesterday I got a brand new belt for $1.77. It was initially a $24 belt. So today I feel good wearing a red shirt tucked in and a belt and jeans. It is incredible how one little thing can make such a difference.

I only hate belts when I have to go pee. I often go to the wash room at the last minute. I don't know if that has a connection to the fact that I was a bed wetter until my late 20's.

Definitely I should continue to pray for the puppies to sell. May God take care of you financially. Now that the house is all paid off, that is less stress right there. Please try not to be stressed. It is bad for our immune system as you already know.

458? That is incredible. Normal is between 400-1600. You are in the normal range my friend. Hallelujah, Praise the Lord.

The doctor tells me that I was sick for a long time and that is why my cells might never go beyond 300. I was at 80 before but that is high compared to you at 25. Oh my God! I still believe my cells can go up. How? I don't know.

I better get walking and praying. Will go mbae the market and get lunch meats and buns.

Hope your day is going well.

What did Ricky's mom say about the puppies? That is awful nice of her to do that for you guys. Bless her soul.

Chache she's amazing. Animals adapt better than we do.

Congratulations on owning your house.

Always
xoxox
Mson.

Mson, I re read my last post...i goofed up big time No, my house is not paid off...not even close...we still owe about 50 thousand dollars on it. I was trying to say that my monthly house payment did not go threw... I don't know why or what happened....I am behind on my payments for 1 month but it wont be paid in full for many many years, if it ever is. i wish it was paid for. That would be amazing and wow!!! but it is not...sorry i confused you. I wish you were right.
It is raining hard out side right now. The electricity went off for a few minutes but its back on now.
I am glad your foot isn't hurting...watch those herbs. If you think you can do without them then do without them. The only thing I take that isn't proscription is fish oil pills and garlic pills and my doc said that was good. She even recommended the fish oil pills to lower cholesterol and it seems to be working.A lot of HIV meds can make your cholesterol go way up...that is what happened to me but the fish oil pills have made it go down. It was 325 now it is around 260...I think the healthy normal number is around 100 maybe I'm not sure...
OK, dear heart, I am going to watch a movie or something on TV. I am 2 tired from that crazy weekend to walk on the treadmill or lift weights...I should but Im not. I am going to do the
and chill for the rest of the day. I did dishes and laundry and fed the dogs and showered and thats about it. Now time to relax a little...lazy me.
Love always,
Homer

Chill out my dear. That is what I do every Sunday.

I am still impressed with you because you have a house. That is a big step forward I tell you. Instead of paying rent, your precious penny is going into something you own. I love it.

It is showing signs of rain here as well.

I try to keep away from pills coz right now I am taking 9 pills a day. I know some people swallow more pills than that. I will talk to my doctor about the fish oil pills and garlic pills.

The USA considers a person to have AIDS if their CD4 cells are below 200. Here we go mbae opportunistic illnesses. HIV plus an opportunistic illness =AIDS.

Off to work. I have walked and prayed. Feeling good and now I am heading to walk.

My sweetheart is walking me there.

Have a nice relaxing afternoon. Wi chat later. xoxox

Chao
Mson

Well, I put on the movie and promptly fell asleep!!!! I guess I was more tired than I thought...I still feel tired. Yeah,HIV opportunistic infection=AIDS. And even if you get your T cells way up into the 100s you are still considered AIDS. Once it falls low and is called AIDS it is always AIDS even if your T cells get high again. My doctor said it a word game and even though I am undetectable I still have and will always have AIDS. And I am OK with that. It is the hand I have been dealt and I can deal with it. It could always be worse. Some people never have a chance to live, some die young and others never know happiness. I have known much happiness and I am already too old to die young so I am blessed.
Have a great night at work, I think you are great,Mson. You're an Angel...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Om_ESyPwl4
and this one is one of my songs with Ricky...it makes me laugh and feel good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vowdmjdT2xE