Thanks, my heroes and friends....you raise me up...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm9JSBZlVQQ &feature=related

you R A strong lady!!!

Now it was my turn to cry. Thanks Homerx. Beautiful song. I'll add it to my collection. Your avatar is touching. We love you. - Mson

I love you 2....very very much.
that song has always reminded me of my Mson,Bobbie and MA...where is MA??? R U out there MA?????? If so say hi some time, we love you...

Thank you, my love....I feel better now a little.
R U having more guests at your B&B? Sun sheets...I LOVE that...they smell and feel so comfy.I bet you R a great hostess to your guests... makes me want a nap...

I had a dream last night and in the dream I was telling my dear friend and former neighbor of 39 years about my situation with letting go of the love I feel/felt for my former BF. I told him that it is a lot harder for me to let go because I truly loved him where with him it was not that hard. It was more about other things. Money, ego, letting the others know he was intimate with me in my house.

Then, talking to him today. I want to say get lost but I just don't have it in my heart yet. I can get super upset, yell and scream but it only makes me feel sick inside that I ever let him into my life in the first place.

Homer/Steve tells me to get rid of him. I really want to. I guess I am just too weak. Somehow, I just don't have the strength to do it. I want to cry for my own weakness and inability to tell him to get out of my life forever. I know I am strong. When it comes to him, I just am weak.

Bobbie

Today I asked God to be your husband. That your feet may walk the right path. I don't know the full story of you and your BF to say anything but I will continue to pray for you. It's call I can do.

This afternoon I went to see my friend Earl and when I got there, our friend Cody was there. I was there for a while. Came home and made dinner. My husband is coming home tomorrow. I miss him. He is a great companion among other things.

We each have something to handle that is for sure.

Let us continue to pray for each other.

Lovingly
Mson.

I appreciate that when I was born
You did not throw me out
You wiped my bum and gave me a breast.

Then depression crawled in and you
were a monster
One I fear to upset up to this date.

Mama I pray for you daily
That your soul may heal
That you may enjoy your olden days.

I have forgiven you Mama
For the physical and verbal abuse
I understand you were ill.

I am crying mama
Because I wish you were a normal Mama
But you are who God gave me

My path is different from yours
You cannot beat me now
You are NOT the boss of me.

Please understand Mama
I did the best to bring us together
The rest is up to you.

If we don't connect again
That is fine too
Even Homerx survives alone

Anyway, just wanted to say
Happy Mothers Day
To you Rosemary.

It is me
Muthoni.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY BOBBIE...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO MY LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy mothers day to you Homerx. (You know what I mean .)

Love you peoplez.

My husband is back home. I missed him but I was not lonely and needy.

I called his mother and left a message "Happy Mother's day and thanks for giving me a wonderful husband." May be she never checked the message but she called my cell coz my husband's had no battery. I say happy mothers day and she said the same then she asked if my husband was here. I gave him the phone. Then sha called again and I was like "Hold on a minute..." The third time my husband answered. He fixed her lap top but it is not working. I think she was frustrated. I wanted no part of it.

Brushing shoulders with you Homex and Bobbie have matured me up. Thanks. It will only get better.

My husband was saying that she indeed saw my husband. She was on the road with a man hitch hiking. She hitch hikes a lot. That is what she meant that she saw him. He was in a vehicle going to his mum's. Hoi.

Anyway,

This is for us. From the Puppy, Walter and Jessy. I fancy them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldZFGrBOCyM

My sweet husband suggests that we do the do. I am up for it 5:55pm

Health and Wellness
Mson.

and it is almost dark now turning off the water pump.

Lots to tell you about Mson. Not all childhoods and parents have a match made in Heaven. Today, my daughter called and said I have to step up to the plate. Her daugher is getting married after only running away for two weeks. Now, the guy wants to marry her. I have to question this, but it is not my call. And, now she wants me to help pay for it. I can barely pay these expenses as it is. See, what I am telling you is true.

I asked when is the wedding, and she said November. I have to question why I have to be paying for it when Jessica, her daughter, has a mother, father and step father who all have jobs. It is not like I am being hateful or mean about it. I have been down this path forever with my daughter. She thinks money grows on trees. Not here. Not anymore. It never did.

Please pray for me Mson.

I love you.

Bobbie

It seems like you are being tested on your strength. I'll pray for you my dear. Don't cave in, be strong.

Lord have mercy.

I was engaged on 10th October 2003. I wanted to be married on 17 of July 2004. Mother in law delayed the wedding until May 21, 05. I think she wanted to see if we were serious. I'd tell your daughter to do the same thing. Won't please your granddaughter but it (the relationship) will be tested mbae time. Tried, tested and true.

One wonders what is the rush.

Love you
Mson.

Bobbie, just flat out say NO. Sorry but you are having a rough time of it at this point and if they are going to insist you pay... ...then they will have to wait. Tell them if they are still engaged a year from now and they want to have it at the B&B then you will be happy to help...in a year. If they insist on getting married so quick then sorry, you will be happy to attend and get them a gift but you will not be shelling out $$$ that you don't have. harsh? No. real?yes.

yeah...like Mson said, what is the rush and since when does the grandmother pay for the wedding??? I haven't heard of that one...

I know. I haven't even been in a Ross for like months now and I used to love to shop for the bargains. I decided to make this work out with this huge loan, I would have to give up all those things. As it is, I am still going through more and more debt.

So, honestly, you are right. There is no rush. Jessica already has two small children. My own daughter said that guy had choked her Jessica. Why can't somebody step in here and do something? Someone asked me if I could talk to Jessica about it. We do not have a close relationship as my daughter always said she only wanted us to love her, her alone above her children. Long story. However, my oldest granddaughter, beautiful Nicole Marie is coming from Alaska to be with me in August for the harvest.

Homer, you are right. It is true. Slowly but surely that feeling of power over me is fading away. Thank you for that. Have you thought of going back to get your doctorate in relationship counseling? You would make a great doctor Homer/Steve. You know how to reach the heart of another person and can relate in a human way that we all need when we are hurting. Same goes for Mson. She is my hero too.

Mson, I love you and also hold you up in prayer and light. Not many people have gone through what you have and have still come back with love for others. I love you for that.

Also talked to my priest and am glad that I did. A big burden lifted off my soul. Reveal the secret and it has less hold over you.

With love,

Bobbie

thats my girl! I know you will do what is right for you. Thanks for the compliment. I wish I could go back to school but with the stroke I cant read well or write well or remember much...who are you again?? kidding...but really, thank you for the kind words of support. I'm just trying to lead my friend on the right path so she doesn't get scammed or heart broken worse than she already has!

Yesterday, you would have been so proud of me. Actually, I can see what you are saying because he came to my kitchen door and called out for me. I went to the door and said, let's go out to see the work that has been done. He has this sweet little dog Emma and she loves me. She is almost like a circus dog, she will stand up on her legs and beg me to pick her up. Basically, she wants healing and I love her. So we rode out there and looked at the progress.

Then, Homer, we come back toward the house and it is like he believes he is going to come into my house and settle in and have a big talk/to. No. I thanked him at the garage and pretty much felt like he is now in the place where he should have always been. Not priviledged like my Godson's mother said. He is never to have any more priviledges. She is right. You are right. Mson is right. Thank God I am starting to feel some bit of strength.

There is also another great person on this forum who tells me to get rid of him because being around him only brings back all those feelings. And, she is right. Sitting beside him and holding his little dog just makes me beyond happy and that is a false happiness.

My former vineyard manager was over here and he said he would be more than happy to come back as my consultant with the new legitimate vineyard manager as he feels that I have been treated badly. God knows what he would think if he knew the whole terrible picture.

I am moving forward Homer. I promise you and Mson that.

Thank you for praying for me. I love you beyond worlds.

Bobbie

Bobbie, that is great news... Time is the great healer and with time he will fade away.
You said one other person here is telling you to get rid of him. let me guess...is it Beline?? I LOVE Beline...whether it is Beline or not,Beline is a wonderful person and a dear heart!! That is my guess...

If we keep pressing on, everything is going to be ok. We are to understand that we are not alone. We are praying for each other and God has a plan for us. A plan for good and not for evil.

Yesterday I went looking for a job at a venue called "Our Place" it is for the homeless. They advised me that I start off as a volunteer. I am going for the interview tomorrow. I have volunteered as an HIV/AIDS outreach worker for five years with them in the past. I am just looking for something to do with my Mondays and Wednesdays.

They want me to start as a volunteer so that they see how I interact with the clients. Fair enough.

I am proud to say that I am accustomed to waking up at 8:45am each morning on weekdays. It has taken real effort to achieve this. I used to wake up closer to noon and then I would feel bad for sleeping in and the whole day would be ruined.

This morning I have done laundry, folded and put away. I have read my book. Before then I had cereal with hemp hearts and Goji berries. I skipped rope and dressed. I will light a candle for all the people and animals that I can recall and then I am going for my labyrinth prayer walk and will go mbae the market to get stuff for lunch. I'll pray for you as usual.

Wi chat later.

For some reason, I am not getting a notification every time there is a reply on here.

Love you
Mson :

HomerX, I could only make it half way thru Josh's YOU LIFT ME UP....but I promise to go back and watch the entire thing. Mson, your poem touched my heart as well. Guess I"m emotional basket case today.............but you both hold a special place in my heart today! Crying tears of happiness, sadness, joyfulness and thankfulness.................Hugs!