Mson...sorry but I have been burned by a couple of people and after they took from me they disappeared...and they were supposedly my friends and family. I know it sounds mean but I am very careful who I accept into my home...and my heart. I know it is sad and confusing but you should not have to hide your cereal or anything else in your own home.

I remember just too well when I was a thief. I did not respect others and their things. I can understand where she is coming from. I also remember the first time I stood on the streets of Nairobi as a prostitute. I had asked two men for bus fare so that I could go breastfeed my daughter but they had no money. I remember that.

I know I cannot trust the girl and so I make sure she is not left in house alone. Maybe this is where she will learn to be trustworthy. If that means hiding my cereal, so be it.

Beloved husband talked to her this morning. He explained that I went to have lunch and there was no bun. She apologized for that. I told her we can feed her dinner but not breakfast and lunch. I told her times are tough.

Anyway, I am just glad to have somewhere that I can write my thoughts to you.

Love
Always
Mson

You can always be a loving and giving person. But, remember Jesus said the poor will be with you always.

My own brother used to totally torment my parents, always a hand out. They are long gone, he still goes on taking. Not from me because I will not allow it. That doesn't matter, he has other people he can hit.

My favorite brother Bobby was always so good to him. I found a beautiful picture of Bobby and me when we were small children. I could have kept it for myself, but instead wanted Bobby to have it.

Next thing you know, my other brother was parked on their property, living in his car with his dog and went into their home and removed the picture from the wall and took it for himself.

I am sharing this with you Mson, because there are people who feel it is right to walk right into your house and take. No. It is not right.

Bobbie

Last night, we had our grape grower's dinner and I sat beside a Pathologist and I brought up the subject of HPV and your questions. I told her that you had the loop procedure and that the doctor said to return in one year. I also explained about the HIV/AIDS. She said your immune system is compromised.

Unfortunately, so is mine from steroid use I believe when I was misdiagnosed with asthma and they put me on that for a year. Then Prednisone.

We are living proof we can live, be healthy and survive here Mson. Homer too. I am so proud of that man. He can talk to you equally well, honestly, whether you are a man or a woman. That is something I love so much about Homer.

Today at mass, the priest talked about things which sent arrows through my heart. We know the commandments God gave to us. We don't willingly go in and say in the beginning, I am going to love you and then throw you aside for sin leaving pain and sorrow. I certainly didn't. He said God knows that we are frail and we will fall. A lot to think about. Like you said Mson, it was a real step forward for me to talk to him.

Lee is now calling me crazy for talking to the priest and all the other issues of the vineyard numbers not adding up. I am not the one here who has gone through three psychiatrists and they keep referring him to somebody else. Guess they don't buy into his lack of wanting to be well.

Well, my friends, Mson, Homer, Ma, we do want to be well.

Love,

Bobbie

Good morning, my ladies...Monday again!! Where did the week end go???
It is in the 60s here at the moment and that is refreshing and unusual. Usually it is much hotter. I am enjoying the coolness.
Today I am going to clean out the guest bedroom, it is full of stuff...boxes and what not...I need to be able to get to my weight machine, I have been walking on the treadmill but I haven't lifted waits in a long time. I have been blaming it on the puppies but it is time to clear that room out and get back with the program of daily exercise, and not just walking on the treadmill. I need to lift weights as well.
I hope you had a good week end? What did yall do? I cleaned house yesterday and watched TV for hours and my Dad and Step mom came over and had dinner and birthday cake, it was her birthday and we played board games and had fun. I am a lucky man.
I have to get a few things done today and then I can get into that bed room and get it all put back together.
Bobbie, sounds like you and I both fallow the side of caution when it comes to trusting just any one. Family or not, you have to be smart and worldly, unfortunately. I wish we did live in a word where you could trust with out thought but alas, that isn't a smart way to live I don't thing. God looks out for those who look out for themselves sometimes. Foolish is as foolish does.. Oh well, today is a new day and everything is going to be alright.
Love,Homer

We had a lovely weekend. Had dinner with family on Saturday and dinner with friends on Sunday.

This morning I woke up at 8:45am and got ready right away so that I can mbae a calling card to call my brother who is turning 38 years old. The shop with the cards I like was closed so I decided to go to the labyrinth. On the way there, I met with Mitch my friend. He was leaning mbae the wall breathing hard. He has gained a lot of weight. He offered me a coffee but I declined. It was nice to see him. I don't know how much longer he will last but may the Lord have mercy.

I continued walking then I heard my name. I looked and it was ex from a long time ago Micheal. He had sun glasses on and a hat and he said he was going for a beer. He was honest. Such an early morning. I thank God that I am not with him. He invited me for a beer and I said no. I wondered which bar would be open at that hour. I usually see him at the MJ club but it has been a long time since I seen him so down. I prayed for him. It is all I could do.

From there I go to the labyrinth and do my thing. Then I am walking down the road and someone in a blue van waves at me. I wave back and walk away wondering who that was. Then the same vehicle stops beside me. He went and turned around. He opened the knob on the passenger seat but I am smart, I did not get in. He rolled the window down and I asked him how he was and he asked me what I was up to. I told him I was out for a morning walk and asked if I wanted to go for a hike. I told him I didn't have the shoes for it and walked away. Gone are the days when I jumped into any vehicle. Gone are the days...

I should be at work the whole morning till 2:30pm when I will come home and clean up the kitchen before watching Oprah. Before I go to work I will skip rope, smudge and light the candle. I have a few minutes to do that. I better get on with it.

Homerx, I went mbae the post office - nothing yet. I think goods get held up in customs. The gift package should be here soon. Thanks for thinking about me

Always with love
Mson

Mson, yes, it will probably take 10 to 14 days is what the post office lady told me. I did not send it fast mail, just regular mail. I guess I mailed it 4 days ago maybe I hope it gets there in one piece It was one box with several things in it. Let me know when you get it.
That is scary, that man wanting you to get in his van. NEVER ever ever do that. Never. No matter what some one says to you or offers you, do not get into a strangers vehicle...that is very dangerous.
OK, I haven't cleaned the guest room yet...I better get with it so I can watch TV this after noon...I must work out as well...walk and weights... I am SO lazy but once I get up off my butt and get going it isn't bad at all and after words I feel so much better!
OK...talk to you later.
Love and peace,Homer

I think I will be walking right after all the morning routine. I really enjoyed walking this morning other than people I met. I am planning on waking up, doing breakfast, skipping rope, smudge, lighting the candle and going for my walk and prayers. When I get back, I can proceed with my time table.

Tuesdays will be different because I do laundry and Fridays too because I clean the house. the timetable is flexible. Otherwise I should keep this morning routine going and work on the afternoon activities. Must press on. I have to read, collage and colour and nap. Very important the nap. After that I can watch TV all I want.

Later I have dinner, clean up, shower, crochet and use the computer. I pray to God that He may help me with my routine. I am very good with the morning routine. I get out of bed knowing I have things to do. I am glad I have the morning routine figured out. Homerx you have been very instrumental in my life and I thank you. May God bless you.

It is a great improvement because I used to sleep in to almost until noon or so. Then I would not have breakfast. I had no direction. No lunch. I would be mbae the computer for hours. Dishes would be dirty and that would bring me down. Now I do something about it and as you said Homerx, I feel better for it.

Right now I am at the club and going for a lunch break in ten minutes. Somebody called in sick and so I am at the front desk all day. Extra cash doesn't hurt. Thanks Jesus.

When I get home during my lunch break, I will do the dishes, make sure my sweetheart is recording my shows and I will have some soup. Then I will be back to work until 6:15pm. I love this job and thank God for it.

How is the guest room coming along? Good on you Homerx. If you tidy up where you exercise, it will be that much better for you. Cheers.

Wi chat later.
Love
Mson

I got paid for half my shift and then walked home. 10 minutes walk. I noticed there was mail in the mail box. I have no key to the mail box at home. So I went upstairs and right away I was asking my husband if he smoked the rest of my joint and I was telling him that I have something in the mail box and I knew I had to eat and do the dishes. I was asking him if he is taping my shows.

My husband said that I had a lot of energy and he asked what I was excited about. I told him I wanted to know what was in the mail box. He put his hands on both my sholdiers, looked me right into the eye and gave me the keys and I went downstairs and they were my stockings.

I started warming the soup. As the soup was warming, I started on the dishes. I did about 4 dishes. If I had done the dishes last night no matter what, my mind would have one less thing to think about.

Then I had to sit down and eat as I had only a few minutes left. As I was eating, my husband would pass the joint. I was starting to calm down.

Then I thought about it and asked him what he meant when he said I had energy. He said that I would ask him one thing and before he answered I would ask him another question. This man is the man for me. He notices what other people may not see. He doesn't sit on it, he lets it be known.

Just goes to show why I do not have a full time job. I asked my husband if I was going crazy and he said no I was just full of energy. What a sweet heart. I have an hour and a half to go before end of my shift.

Then it will be nice to go home. I thanked my husband for being there for me. He is a darling. As I was leaving, Chris was coming in for a visit.

We haven't seen the girl who is visiting since last night. I must say it is a relief.

Till later
Love and light
Mson.

Mson, Yes, it is nice when someone knows you so well...I am happy for you. So I am waiting for Ricky to get home. i cooked a chicken and mashed potatoes and corn and I am about to eat with out him if he doesn't hurry home because I am starved!! Hungry man...thats me! Got the munchies and I will give him 20 minutes and then I will call him and tell him I am going to eat with out him... When I get hungry look out....no food is safe!!
I haven't heard from Bobbie or MA today...hope you 2 are OK and just having a good busy day and no time for the computer.
Rick told me not to clean the guest room until he gets home so he can help..he is probably afraid I might throw something away that he wants to save. Some times I just have to get rid of stuff...too many things weigh me down so i get rid of things...give them to Salvation Army or friends who need clothes or furniture...I think less is more.
OK, I am going to call Rick and tell him to come on and eat!!!!
Talk to you soon...have a great night.
Love and Hope and respect and life and peace,
Homer

You are too funny. You just want to eat. I don't blame you. You made such an excellent dinner. I am salivating over here.

Cancer keep everything if you let them - Love Mson

But I am learning as I go along.

It is amazing the power Lee actually thinks he holds over me. He is my vineyard manager. Period. He said that he would have two guys out here Thursday, Friday then Saturday. They didn't show up. So, I am out there digging up these huge mustard plants that are so huge it broke my shovel. Didn't answer the phone all weekend. Then called me this morning at 7:00 a.m. to say two guys would be here.

Saturday, Mr. Martinez, my gardener was here with a young assistant and seeing Lee's lack of responsibility, asked him if the young man could clear up the Viognier vineyeard. He said my weed wacker was broken but took it home with him and fixed it.

Today the two guys were here giving the new man a lot of grief for being here. I heard that and told Carlos, you are here working for me.

Then Lee calls and said, you actually had another guy out there? I said yes. He said, I will not send any of my guys out to your ranch when we are fighting. I said, we were not fighting. He said he deliberately didn't send them out Thursday, Friday or Saturday even though I was expecting them to help me. Lee has to know that he works for me. My hand signs the checks and only if he is responsible.

He said, those are my babies, my plants. I am the vine whisperer. Just give them to me. Is this guy sick or what? Let him pay the mortgage that I had to take out.

I told him, there are other vineyard managers out there Lee. He tried to make it my fault that I have questioned him on the overage charges. He said this is his place. Honestly. Where does this guy get off the bus?

He has an invalid license. I had the courage to ask for a copy today. He said, WHAT! I said, by law I have the right. He said right now he doesn't have one but in a few days he will. Boy am I onto his tale of lies.

Thanks Homer for opening my eyes.

My friend Joyce fired Lee months ago. She also has a beautiful high end vineyard selling expensive grapes. She tells me not to be afraid. I can do it. This is, after all, my property, and they are my babies. Lot Lee's. Kind of scary how he believes this somehow belongs to him.


Bobbie

http://www.starlightastrology.com/can-sco. htm

http://astrology.about.com/od/cancerlovema tches/qt/CancerScorpio.htm

http://www.dressking.com/love-horoscope/Ca ncer-Scorpio.htm

I will continue to pray for you as I get the story better and better. You are getting another manager and changing the code. Right?

Always with love and light
Mson.

Yeah, Bobbie....is that right????????? Say yes!

Mson, thanks for the Cancer and Scorpio website links....very interesting.
The Chicken was very good. Ricky got home just in time. I was about to devour everything!
I got on the treadmill for 30 minutes,Mson...I was listening to this band called Green Day, they are one of my favorites and the CD is called Warning...its very good. Probably not for every one but I love it. Its kind of punk rock...they are a San Fransisco band....
Anyway, today is a new day and I am going to do my best to make it a glorious one. I cherish every day, even the bad ones. Without bad days we might not appreciate the good days right?
The puppies are so cute now. I can tell them apart and they are getting there own little personalities. SO cute!
I guess today I will go to the store down the road for some milk and to the post office. Bills bills bills... but thats life I guess...$$$ comes and then $$$ goes,right? thats the way it goes...
OK, my friends...talk to you later.Have an amazing prosperous day.
Love and wellness,
Homer

Today I woke up at 8:45am and was having trouble saying my devotion for I was soo sleepy. I pressed on and I made it. Took the laundry down and had a bowl of cereal. When I put the clothes in the drier, I decided to go for my morning walk instead of being at the computer doing really nothing much. I prayed as usual for your blessings and that our feet may follow the right path.

I got home in time to get the laundry. Then I did my skipping of the rope, did a smudge and lit the candle. I put the dishes I did last night away. What a great feeling waking up to a clean kitchen.

The next thing I had to do was read for 45 minutes. The book is mbae a preacher Joel Osteen. It is called "How to become a better you." The chapter I read today was about giving our dreams a new beginning. We should not settle for good enough. God has put in each one of us a seed. When one door closes, another opens. When all doors are closed, a window will open.

Right now I am on my lunch break. I am having a sandwich. Taking care of myself is a full time job particularly Monday to Saturday morning. I have to put time and effort. It is not enough to have a timetable but I must follow it. It is crafts time now. Collage for half hour and colouring for another half hour. If I wasn't going to work this afternoon I would have had a nap after the colouring but I am going to smoke a J instead at 2:00pm. First one for the day. And head to work at 2:20pm

Time flies when one is having fun. I better get to my activities as time is slipping.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wb9By-lODgk

Love and health
Mson.

Thanks for your prayers. I feel I can endure a lot but it is the mind trips and control that give me pause. Every time I try to get this person to leave, he won't. Somehow he has it in his head these babies belong to him.

I want the new vineyard manager. He is legitimate. He has his proper license, insurance, is a vineyard labor contractor and I know I can work with him in a good way.

But, when I try to have the other man leave, he lays a trip on me of how he planted this, and I can't make him give up his babies. Please don't make me give up my babies.

Homer said this is mind playing/tripping. It has to be because it makes me very unhappy and I don't quite know how to make it stop. Even my gate now is somehow broken down there and has to remain open. Talk about strange. My gate person is in Northern California but will be home tomorrow to check it out.

This is so very unhealthy, especially dealing with the HPV. I don't need this and wish it would just go away. It is so hard for me to be cruel and unkind. I would think saying it is not possible to work together would have worked. It hasn't. I am quite beside myself to know what to do.

Bobbie, you are going to have to be stronger and more assertive with Lee..what you are doing is not working for you. The time has come to be STRONG and to stick with your convictions and to nip this in the bud!!!!

Then I look around and not happy with the entire outcome of this whole development. He is now the one begging like a lost little puppy. He is the one who is going to look like a fool. How come I got rid of him on this beautiful vineyard? Sorry. He made his choices. He seems to deliberately set up people who care for him, only to abandone them, then say what happened? Guess he has to figure it out. I am not holding his hand here anymore. Nor listening to his feel sorry for me stories. Over. Finito.

I still believe let him work overtime to correct some of these mistakes. I know I will never get my money back on the overages but we have a lot of major things to do in the next few months on the new vineyards. We have to train the plants and get them on the cardoin.

My basic feeling is to let him work overtime on doing this right. Get through harvest. Then it is goodbye time. I don't have to do anything until next year, January or February. Why should I be paying management for anybody when they basically aren't doing anything from September until then.

At that point, it is time for a whole new beginning. I have already discussed this with the President of our grape grower's association. He feels it is a good plan. Then start fresh.

It is much more than just that personal thing between us Homer. I have buried that in my heart. My gate is fixed. I will survive. Don't you doubt that for a moment. Bobbie is a survivor.