the wine and olive oil. You are in for a big treat Homer and Ricky. I just totally love that olive oil bottle and label too! Didn't my friends do a great job on that? But, what is inside Homer is even more beautiful than what is on the outside! Just like you and Mson.

The wine you will love. I belong to two wine clubs but their wine cannot come close to my wine because it was planted with love, prayed for, sang to and has won the top awards in the State of California. Just a proud mommy here.

My 2004 Cabernet won 94 points. Screaming Eagle of Napa 2004 Cabernet won 94 points. It sells for $500.00 a bottle. Just little Bobbie, a woman winemaker playing with the big boys. Even I have to smile at that one. Out of 94 Cabernet Sauvignon wines entered in the California State Fair in 2007, I came in top Gold. Only a Double Gold above me. Look how God has blessed me, my vineyards, my life and most of all friends that I have met who care for me. My children, my grandchildren and all is good.

Things are looking good and bright here my friends. Talked with Lee and he seems to be holding his own. He is after all a true friend and he has advised me to be smart on the house and not let the 10 year expiration on my contractor's liability or the window people's liability run out. Please pray for me as this is just so hard to have to decide what to do. Lee says protect my home and my children's right to their inheritance to a home free from major problems down the road.

Did you both do your exercises today? I am starting to do mine just walking up and down these hills turning on the water stations. What is a water station? It is when you have blocks of grape vines which are planted and each one is set on a certain watering schedule which is manually turned on. There is a valve that turns it on and then off. You must turn on one to keep up the water pressure, then go onto the next station and turn it on. Then you go back and turn off the last one.

Love to you both and thank you for praying for me.

I will be pouring three of our wines and the olive oil at a fund raiser for our church in two weeks. Pretty excited about that one as this is a farming/grape growing region with over 200 wineries and the highest earning crop is wine grapes.

Bobbie

Hehehe you are forgiven my King. I go through lazy days as well.

I am making a new timetable. I will be more honest with myself.

You can have a great day and it only takes one person to lay you low.

Even when you think you are strong, someone you care about can bring you down, way down.

This former BF today told me I never had HPV, he never gave it to me, him and his GF don't have it, must have always been me even though my last two tests came back negative. Honestly. Some people simply do not listen. I never told him the last two tests came back negative. I tried to explain to him the last test said no abnormalities and my doctor said if I can have three more tests come back in the next 18 months, I will have the HPV in a dormancy state.

That doesn't mean I don't have HPV. I do. Just like HIV/AIDS, once you have the virus, you have the virus. Guess that is why people who go around spreading HPV and other virus causing diseases don't have the slightest clue of even what it is.

Bobbie

Yeah I was watching vision TV all day yesterday and they were saying how the devil goes around looking for something to devour. We have to be careful because the devil does not want us happy. We have to surround ourselves with the blood of Jesus.

Sorry to hear that the former BF is being so ignorant. Oh Bobbie.

I finished my new timetable. I am busiest in the morning. Devotion, breakfast, skip rope, smudge, light candle and check out the computer. Then I have to walk every morning. Take a short break then read for 45 minutes. Collage and colouring follow. An hour's rest and then marathon TV for three hours. Dinner, dishes, shower then crochet. Wind up the day with music, video games and computer.

I hope you are feeling better soon. Glad to hear the HPV is becoming dormant. God is good and He works in mysterious ways.

Love you
Mson.

Bobbie, you say Lee is a beautiful man...well, Satin was damn good looking too from what the bible says...be wary of him please...I feel bad mojo just typing in his name...

Mson,that timetable sounds like a good idea...maybe I will try that. I used to keep to one right after I had the stroke or I lost track of the days and hours...

And, I hear you on the power of The Blood of Jesus. I always used to cover myself in his Precious Blood before I would do healing work. Got to remember what is coming down on me is not from God.

I too can see Lee for what he is but then he is such a charmer. Always likes to come over here and tell me about his life Sometimes for hours at a time. But, you know, he seldom asked about me or talks about anybody else. Sometimes I wish that I had never met him but as my son Mark said, "mom, that is all water under the bridge." You have to go forward.

Mson, you would be so proud of me. I cleaned all the bathrooms yesterday, will start on my closet today and even have started cleaning up the garage. You are such a good influence on me.

Homer too. You tell it like it is. Sometimes, we can get caught up in our own doubts and can't see people for who they truly are.

Homer, you are right. Lee has an excuse for everything. Even now says he doesn't believe the baby could be his. What a little coward he is. He just won't accept any responsibility for anything. Says sure they had sex but used pull out method so how could she have gotten pregnant. We all know the answer to that one. It is the poor little baby that was abandoned by his father even before he was born. Was born weighing 4 pounds and had to be airlifted to a Pediatric Hospital specializing in heart surgery. He had to have heart surgery just a few days old.

It is a sad situation when people are just throw away like that. I don't live my life like that and try to love.

Thanks for praying for me. I really need it right now.

Bobbie

That is just what I live with and it is hard.

We live in a world that is less than perfect. We are imperfect human beings. It would be great if it were different, but it is not. Guess we need to give ourselves a time out.

BW

It is sad when a man says he is not the father of unborn child. Very sad. Three of my brothers have children with women they did not stay with a long time. Rose, Nyamu and Nessy. I always pray for them and count them as part of our family.

I had a good today. Devotion, did laundry, breakfast, skip rope, smudge, light candle.

We did our taxes. Nice to have that out of the way. Went to the labyrinth. Prayed for family and friends. Came home and had lunch. Did some collage and coloring. Rested for twenty minutes and then went to work. Went mbae the market to mbae juice. Came home and watched Forrest Gump. Had dinner, did dishes, had a shower and now I am heading to bed.

Be blessed.

Light and Love
Mson

You light up our lives with your courage and stick-to-it attitude.

Last few days have been a little hard. Have to have dinner early and tomorrow will be a new day.

Take care.

Bobbie

I am very sorry to hear that the last few days were tough. It is in toughness that we grow if we choose to. Going what you are going through will leave you a different person. I believe everything happens for a reason. May the Lord make it easier for you Bobbie. Keep praying especially for yourself. It is very important.

Thanks for your kind words. You are very strong yourself. After Walter and all, you too have a stick-to-it attitude. You manage the babies and all mbae yourself. That is something.

I hope Homerx posts here soon. I miss my friend.

Today I woke up around 10:00am. We did not get into bed until after 11:30pm last night. I also took my medication late and the mental health ones interfere with my sleep. I had 45 minutes to get to work and do all the things the timetable told me to do. I did devotion, breakfast, skip rope, smudge, light candle. I carried my tea with me to work.

Enjoyed being at work. Everyday I am working I ask the Creator to make it run swiftly and that I may be fresh and willing to work. So far it has worked soo well. I have been there seven years and it is only now that I have started to pray. It can be dangerous working in a pot shop. In 2006, thugs came when I was working. Baseball bats, metal pipe and they had bandanas on their mouth. I got ill and had to be admitted to the mental hospital a few days after the ordeal. It's no joke being at the front desk. I need protection and I am asking for it from Jah.

From work I went to the labyrinth. Two native people said hey to me and I sat with them for a while. They are my friends from the club. They were at the park having a beer. I drank my water. Then at the labyrinth Sean who is also native came to say hey. He is a custodian to the Anglican church. The grounds on which the labyrinth is in. I was telling him how I was amazed mbae the snow of 1996 and how I never noticed the seasons change my mind was so cluttered. My people in the olden days used to worship facing mount Kenya because there is snow at the peak. They said that was evidence that there was a God. So seeing all that snow in 1996 got me in awe. I was like, OMG! Then on the way back from the labyrinth I met with Dennis and her son Richard. They leave out town now. I know them from the AIDS office.

I met and chatted with five native people today. I am blessed.

The phone rang. It was the AIDS office. They want me at the office at 7:50am to go Up Island do two presentations. When I get paid, I can send my brother that cash he needs. We are not being paid mbae the AIDS office and so it might take a while. He will have to wait. Maybe I will get my tax returns soon. God will make a way. I am not worried.

Came home and had lunch. Then I went to watch Oprah and the news. We had left overs for dinner. Last night beloved husband made a ham and cheese pasta. Yummy. It had onions, garlic (four bulbs) and chalets.

I have done the dishes, I have showered, put in some time doing crochet and now, I will be going to bed. As you said Bobbie, tomorrow is another day. "Yesterday is gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine, help me today, show me the way, one day at a time..."

My desire is to be at the present as much as possible. Not being in the past or the future but being present.

Peace, love and light
Mson.

Sorry I have not been on here but I have all these puppies and I cant have any time to myself to do anything....like now, for instance, I just took my eyes off them and 2 have gotten out and 1 was caught between the table and the little pin....
I am SO tired!!!! Lord help me, these puppies are running me ragged...but I will get back on and be able to post soon.
Just want to say HI and hope yall are well..talk to you soon...maybe tomorrow when Ricky is home and can watch all these puppies . I really need to go to the doc and the store and drug store and post office...I need to be 2 people right now!!!

Hi you guys...where is every one? Hope you are all out having a great day...I am in Puppy Land and its fun but tiering....I was going to go to town and do all my running around but I cant leave these pups alone so I will have to go in the morning...I will get up at 9 am and go do my blood work and go to the drug store, they close at noon so I will have to go early.. Mson, its so cool that you run into people at the labyrinth and get to visit with them and make friends...thats great. I had Chinese food again last night and thought of you,Mson...
I guess Bobbie has gone to a funeral for a friend...I hope she is safe and I hope she can get what she needs out of this strange relationship she has with Lee...he is a bad seed, I wish she would stay away from him... but it is her life and she is an adult...I just want what is best for her because she deserves it..I don't want her to get any more hurt than she already has...
OK, I have to walk on the treadmill while the babies are asleep and then shower...I just wanted to say HI...

OK! I worked out and took my shower and had lunch and was wondering where yall R...? I guess I will go watch OPRAH...its about gay people around the world...should be interesting...bye... Love you, Homer

Oprah was good...kind of sad that so many people are estranged from there families because they are gay...it isn't fare So sad that mothers reject there sons and brothers reject there brothers just because we love who we love...it sucks!

I am here. Was away all morning doing two presentations Up Island. I was up at 7:00am turned off the alarm and was in bed for another seventeen minutes. I had devotion, no time to skip, I lit the candle, put myself together. That is why I like showering at night. I walked to the AIDS office for about fifteen minutes. Kecia and I drove to Up Island. We did two presentations and had a quick lunch. We had to head back to town as I am working at the club today. First we went and got my medications. I have them here so I can tell you what the labels say. Kivexa a month's supply cost $1303.56. I got two months supply and Nevirapine for a month cost $592.60. For that I was also given a two months supply. Then there was a month's supply of Bi Polar for which I don't know the cost.

When I think about how easy I got it, I get up and do something for the community. That is why I was away this morning. Building the nation. That is why I give thanks to God because I have never had to pay a penny for my lab work or medication for both my ailments. I am a miserable sinner who deserves none of it but the Creator is merciful. He has allowed me to have this fortune mainly to make me better so that I can do His work. I am not getting better to be a specimen in God's showroom. I am getting better to do His work.

That is the way I see it.

Homerx, I wish the puppies a quick growth. You sound like a mother with many children. Showering while the kids are sleeping. I know it is not funny but it makes me They will soon be grown enough to leave and then you will miss them. Until then, good luck my friend and lots of patience and lack of sleep...

I just asked Beloved Husband (BH) to record for me Oprah. I love anything gay. I am nuts. When I was in real need of help in my life, it was the gay men that helped me. They arranged my place. I was living in a rooming house. They painted it purple and green like I had asked and then they arranged the room. For the first time in my life, I felt that I had a home. It is from there that I moved in with my BH. They gave me a place to spread my roots, they gave me a home. The gay men really helped me. So I am glad you mentioned what Oprah was all about coz I don't want to miss that. I bet you all the men will be handsome and gorgeous. I love gay people. I thought if they could come out about their sexuality, I should be able to come out about my AIDS. I had kept it hidden for five years. What a pity.

My memory goes back to when I was training as a volunteer for AIDS office. It was 1998 and the topic was homosexuality. I was amazed at all I learned and later I asked how two men would become intimate and the instructor told me that there were many ways of being intimate. That really got my mind off the gutter.

Homerx, I was telling Kecia about you. She was talking about how she does not interact with other HIV people in our area. I told her I don't either and I continued to tell her how I was looking for HIV/AIDS forums that would not judge me and I was telling her about this place (eHealth) and how I met you and how happy you have made my life. Just that knowledge that Homerx is out there doing something about his health. That gives me motivation and inspiration. The HIV folks around here are still into old habits and don't seem to change. You on the other hand are doing lots to keep well. Way to go Homerx.

Love you
Mson.

Mson, I didn't realize how much I count on your smile and loving words and tales of your day until you were gone... I guess I really needed you in my life and I just want to say THANK YOU! YOU ROCK! YOU ARE ME FRIEND & SISTER IN LIFE! THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!!! There, I shout it to the mountain tops that Mson is loved and needed and wanted and beautiful!
I want you to send me a PM with your address because I want to send you some Texas treats and a few small things to show you I care...nothing much, just a little something to hopefully brighten your day...so if you don't mind, PM me your address,OK? OK! I guess I better go, Rick will be home soon..Oh, I also wanted to say that I am proud of my people, they are caring loving giving people who are unfairly judged and misunderstood by a lot of straight people. I am glad you love us gay people because we deserve love just like every body else does so THANK YOU for loving me and my gay brothers and sisters...xoxoLove,Homer I better role a J now
to assure that I eat and sleep well...

Black and Yellow, Red and White, We All Deserve The Right To Respect for our choices, those we love.

There are so many people out there unable to find someone to love. It is kind of a scary place really. To find love is one of the amazing things in the world.

What is different being gay or straight? Nothing. You go to work, you come home to somebody who loves you. You share joy, love and sometimes sorrow. You are a family. There certainly are a lot of people out there with nobody. Have to feel sorry for them. Maybe they would like somebody to love. Sometimes, they are just too afraid to put themselves out there. I am proud of you Homer and Ricky. Nobody is standing in the way of your happiness!!!!!

I actually had an amazingly beautiful 27 year old blond beauty here at my home with her family to begin the celebrations of her wedding tomorrow in a vineyard. To look at her, you would have to say what a beautiful, intelligent and loving person. Love just doesn't come knocking on your door every day. Try one time, true love in your lifetime. Unusual as most young people aren't out there looking for a long time committment.

Homer, you should be proud of who you are. You are special, loved, and can honestly open up to others. I totally love you for that.

I am trying hard to feel better. The last few days were tough and you know why. I cannot make somebody love me in return. But, I made a commitment two years ago to love and try to help Lee. No matter what, I gave my heart to try to help him. Maybe it will help. Maybe it won't. All I can do is my best. I don't make a commitment lightly. If I say I will try to help, I will. Who knows what we can do to help a person? Maybe some things get through.

Love you all.

Bobbie

Thanks for praying for me Mson and Homer.

I woke up around 10:00am it is a weekend after all. There were times I used to sleep all day and watch TV all night. Then I got better but I would sleep to past 2:00pm. Then I got better and would wake up before noon. Now on weekdays I wake up at 8:45am. I am well now and will continue to take my medication, eat, exercise and rest. I was trying hard Homerx without you but you made it easier just mbae being you.

When the Prince on Oprah spoke about no attachment between him and his mother, I started to understand your story and your mother Homerx. My mother was always fierce to me. There was no mother child relationship. Very abusive. I am learning from these experience`of knowing you that I might never be able to attach to my mother again. That is a piece that I was missing. I had forgiven her but still things were not right. That is because I was trying to attach. The cord was cut back in 1968. Lord have mercy.

Homerx, I have read that you have never been with a woman ever. You have known who you are for a long time but never messed yourself up like with women. I admire you for that my KING! The Prince went ahead and married a Princess in the hope that his homosexuality would go away. When they were separating, the Princess told the Prince never to do that to another woman. That got him coming out.

I was very sorry about the gay lady. I am glad she had a computer to sell and get out of Jamaica. People can be cruel. She was attacked mbae a gang of several people. They raped her. The day she was attacked, she decided to move to the States. She is now in the States. The States where Homerx you live and have experienced hatred from a family member.

The basket ball player had it rough too but I am glad that all of them came out. It is better to be hated for coming out than live in the closet, not being real.

The prince was very handsome

Bobbie,

Nice to see you back. You write with a passion and I love it.

I have dated a girl in 2000 for a year. I met her at the mental hospital. We traveled to Halifax together in 2001 but we were separated. She is still my friend that phones me every now and then. She has been back to school and is working with mentally challenged folks. I loved her but then I decided I like the penis better.

Just finished eating breakfast, I will make tea and then I will clean the house. We have some friends coming out for dinner. Could have cleaned the house yesterday but I was doing the presentations. I don't know what Beloved Husband will do with the chicken but I am sure it will be nice. Our guests have invited us for dinner many times over the years and now we have a chance to get back at them. After we de-cluttered about four months ago, I have been more social in our home because I am not ashamed.

Lord I ask for a multitude of angels. Not just one or two angles Lord, a multitude.


to look over me, my family and friends. Let's keep the angels busy.

I have to pick up dessert and a bottle of white wine. I am excited.

Have a blessed day.

With love and loving the day that the Lord has made...

Mson.

I have invested so much energy, time, love, effort, strength, caring, hope, counsel in trying to help Lee overcome his emptyness, his inability to see love from those who care for him, his true abandonement of those who love him, that it has been a real saga for me.

Sometimes, it is so frustrating, that he is like a parrot, saying the same o same o. He is not happy. I always asked but what about your wife's happiness, your daughter's happiness and you could just go right on down that road with everybody else who loved him and he just brushes you aside. Like a tick on his back. Off you go.

The thing with him is when you start feeling in your heart you cannot do anything more to help him, it is like his radar kicks in and he is back on the door step,manages to get back into your house sitting in my late husband's leather chair, or on the phone giving you his story, or should I say stories. They are endless. Sometimes, I feel you could record them and play them back to him the next time he goes into one of his poor little me stories.

Homer has gotten to know me well. He has already been through this kind of a relationship. These guys are charmers, great at sex, they can make you happy for a little while but in the end they make you completely miserable.

Homer, I am working on getting rid of him.

I went into the vineyards yesterday because as I told you he came back and charged me over $15,680.00 for added vineyard. It has been really bothering me for a long time. I look at the invoice for the grape vines. It was $24,800.00 in November, 2006 and in February, 2007 he said there were more grapes and he had to charge me more. Guess what? I went into the vineyards and counted the grapes. There are less grapes than what I originally paid for, let alone more grapes for more money.

These guys are takers. I will figure out what to do. In the meantime, I was out on one of the hills and fell down yesterday. Thank God I didn't break my leg. But, I thought, who is going to help me get back up the hill? Nobody. This is ridiculous.

I talked to him today and said there is a big discrepancy in the count on the grapes. He on that one block alone overcharged me $1,760.00.

Must decide what to do.

Mson, I know why Homer calls you a sister. You are a sister to the human race. And, I can understand why you loved a woman once. I think to truly love, you can love anyone, man or woman equally well. I once loved a woman beyond all measure. We are still the very best of friends. She totally hates Lee. She says listen to Steve. He is telling me the truth.

It is only up to the person to decide who they want to spend 24/7 with. And, to remember, you know for sure you are here and alive. So spend it with somebody you love and cherish. Sure, it is not always going to be a bed of roses, but it is your bed and you can share it with whomever you choose. Nobody has the right to that decision but you and you alone.

Love,

Bobbie

Mson and Bobbie, I really love you... You both are lifting me up and helping me to make my life meaningful..that is HUGE! I will talk to you on Monday because Rick is home and we are cleaning and taking care of these 6 new lives...Dogs are so amazing and wonderful... and so cute..hope yall have a nice nite and a good Sunday...Love,Homer