After the terrible dread of those water tests on my beautiful home's windows and doors, I am glad it is over with.

It was something worse than drinking five gallons of castor oil, hot peppers, or petrolium.

All I could do was await their coming with dread. Sure enough, they got here came into my home tore out one of the windows and set up a very sophisticated test which took them hours to put together. By then, my somach was totally torn up. I tried to sit there and take notes, take pictures as they were doing plenty of it.

On top of everything else, the vacuum kept failing and the computer program couldn't work. Then, the representative told me that if it was their problem, they would stand behind it. (Not from the research I had done). Anyway, finally to make a long story short, they said the water was coming in from outside the structure, not their windows themselves. Lots more pictures. They advised me to get my building contractor out here. I called him and thank God he was here before they arrived back from lunch.

They then proclaimed to him their opinion of the window problem. Bad installation and not following the instructions. But, for all of you out there, do your homework. I did. This same company is under seige from countless class action lawsuits. They always give the same patent answer: The contractor didn't install the windows correctly. WRONG. Met the wrong lady.

So, they announced they were not going to do the other bad window which was the one that had terrible problems because they didn't need to. I asked them, why did you chose the window with the least damage?

Then, they said they would test the window itself. They have a strong stream of water hitting the windows and it all correlates into the computer.

Then we went around to all the french doors and finally upstairs. At that point I was so exhausted, I felt like John Coffey in The Green Mile, "I's tired boss, bone tired." I listened to their explanation of how to make the doors in the library water proof. Then they decided to water test it anyway just to be on the safe side as I had sent them pictures of my ceiling below having to be torn out.

So, Lee was out here getting his guys to do the replants in the new vineyards and I had to go out to turn on the water stations. I was gone for awhile when the main tester is at my front door calling me to come back. I come into the house. There again in the same place is water running down my light fixture from upstairs from the french doors which they had hit with the high power water testing. I couldn't believe it.

BTW, it was a real blessing that my builder was here because he questioned them back, in the 35 years he has been building homes, why are these windows and doors the first to ever fail in his homes? I also told them I knew about all the windows and doors that failed in homes in Florida, Atlanta, Chicago, in fact all over the country and their cop out is always "It is bad installation."

They had a little meeting and came back to my builder and me and said they would give me four new double hung windows. Of course, we will have to pay for installation, the destruction of the stucco on the exterior and removal of the drywall and remediation of the damage. SCREAM.

At the beginning, they seemed they wouldn't help me at all and just dump this on my head. But, I kept praying that God and all of you would help me get through this nightmare.

Then, of all people, after that water came in through the library and the french doors even with the patch they put on the doors to keep water out, the storm doors and all, the main tester told me that he believes it is a more serious problem with the stone work and tile on the patio up there. Pray for me you guys. He told me to contact my insurance people. I told him I did and they said they wouldn't pay for it. He said, but we did water testing and there is something really wrong.

Love,

Sorry to rag on.

Bobbie

Got that off my chest at least for the moment.

Homer, are you still having the fluid drained from your arm? Is it your left arm? Now, this is very important for you to tell me. The left side is your emotional side, the right side is your intellectual side. Just to know where things come from.

I really liked the picture of you and Ricky. Whenever I would correspond with you I would always see Lonestarguy's avatar of the young blond guy with the blond hair. And, lots of it. You look exactly as I thought that you would. Didn't see the hair on the face though. Ricky certainly looks like a lot of loving.

I hear you on how can 14 years go by so fast. And, it is love and a precious gift it is too to find it. It seems so many people are just spending time walking a treadmill of life, get up, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed, same o same o.

I am so happy that I have met you Homer. Give my best to Ricky and the babies and their little mommy too as well as your bird family.

Mson, hope all is well with you. You have everything under control and your mother-in-law loves you otherwise she would be on your tail all the time. Probably has met her match in you Mson which is a good thing. What mother wants her son to wind up with a wife who is less than a champion? A giver. A lover. A person with real humanity. And, that is you Mson.

I love your ideas on the condoms education. Brilliant and so right on. Keep going and doing good.

MA. Hope you are feeling better now. Feeling ill is not a day at the beach. We all know that. Try to keep stress out of your life if you can (I am certainly a good one to talk about that, right!) Probably got the HPV back again over this whole thing.

Take care your guys, got to go change the water stations.

Love to all of you,

Your friend,

Bobbie

Its my right side......Bobbie, I feel for you, having to deal with all that mess. I hope it all ends very soon and you can get everything back to normal. I also hope your HPV doesn't flare up over all this mess. Its always something, it seems...
I go back to the doc tomorrow, they only drained it 2 times and it feels like it is getting hard and lumpy there...I hope I didn't damage myself permanently.Just what i need, another health issue. But I will be OK...we all will.
I will continue to pray for you like I do every night...and MA and Mson...my on line family.
I'm done for today, talk to you all tomorrow...
good night and sweet dreams.
Peace and Love and good health,
homer

Maybe your body is turning that all around from infection to tissue which can be taken care of by your own immune system.

Right side? Your intellect, things that you really know. That is what I have been told anyway.

Thanks for your support Homer. I love you and do so appreciate your support. And, you know, even though I once loved this young guy, I still do but I don't love him in the way that would last forever. I always felt I was to love him and help him for now. He is still someone I really care for but he is just so capable of letting go of everyone who truly loves him and making excuses. Is that the way of the world Homer?

Love,

Bobbie

The visit with mother in law went well. We went to have something to eat and at 11:24am, my phone rang. It was the boss at the club asking where I was. I thought I was supposed to work in the afternoon. So I hurried to work and all is well.

After my shift I went to the labyrinth and then said prayers for family and friends. I came home and had a nap. Dinner was chicken with bacon, cheese and onion and Uncle Ben's rice.

Bobbie,

I am glad they are doing something about the house. Sorry to hear that the insurance is not covering the repair. May the Universe give you the resources you need. My prayers are with you.

Homerx,

Have you named the puppies or do they all look the same? They must be so cute. Praying for you.

MA,

I am praying for you too and I know what it means to wait for a care card. Every time my work visa expires, my care card expires as well. Then I have to wait first for the work visa and then send the work visa to the health insurance in order to get coverage. It is a nightmare. Hope yours arrives soon.

Love ya
Mson.

So my bf checked the mail today and the card STILL hasn't come in..I called my healthcare provider and, as it turns out, they SENT IT TO THE WRONG ADDRESS!! So I had to get that squared away..and now I SHOULD be getting the card in the mail NEXT week.

But, I WAS able to get to the doctor today. Had to go to the ER, which I hate doing, but I needed to get to the doctor. I told him about my symptoms, and how I may have contracted HIV. I also told him that I got a HIV test a little after 3 months of possible infection. He said the probability of me having it is next to zero, but he may have been saying that just to shut me up...He had no explanation for the lumps on my legs (I mentioned lymphoma and lipodystrophy, he said they were neither partly because they were so symmetrical - what I mean is, the lumps are on both of my legs, on my shins, in the exact same spots).
Does anyone here have any idea of what they could be..?

I mean the first doctor I went to said lymphoma, but this doctor said it wasn't that...He said something about some thyroid thing tho...I forgot exactly. Something that starts with an M. Anyway I made a regular appointment for next week. Hopefully I can get my boss to let me go...Normally we have to post our day off request two weeks ahead of time.

I feel a little better. i was feeling pretty tired earlier, but I had just eaten the biggest burrito ever.

Ok, that's all for now...

<3
MA

there are so many people with real value and worth needed in their adopted countries. Who is to say who has the rights to medical coverage? I thought Canada has a national medical coverage plan for people. Or, is it like here in the US, a pecking order?

Bobbie,

Because I don't have my permanent residence yet, I have a care card that expires with my work visa. Every Canadian is born with a care card. I have to renew mine but once I get my permanent residence, I will be able to get a care card that does not expire. I really appreciate that I can get any type for coverage as I am an illegal alien. The HIV medication and the mental health medication are very expensive and I thank God the Creator that I am able to access medication in a foreign land. I am grateful for that I get and will be much happier when I get a permanent care card.

For about seven years when I did not have a care card, immigration Canada paid for my medical care but since then I have been able to get a work visa that give me a care card. This helps with my visit to the doctors and lab work and medication. I am glad that things are working out and when the time is right, I will have a permanent care card.

It is 9:03am. I woke up at 8:45am. I am getting back to normal after the time change. Took a while to adjust.

Love you - Mson

MA,

Most doctors say to people especially women that they are not at risk for HIV. But I think they should rule HIV out first and not assume that you don't fit in the category that gets HIV. My hope is that you don't have the deadly virus and that you get your care card and get some medical help. I wish you all the best. Keep eating and taking good care of yourself.

Now I am going to put the kettle on, skip rope, make tea and have cereal and then I can start to clean this place up. It is Friday, housekeeping day. I'll also smoke a J

Luv - Mson.

I had cornflakes and made a cup of tea. Then I skipped rope and soon it was time to clean. Housekeeping our home on Fridays. I scrubbed the tub, cleaned the toilet and the sink. I did the dishes, swept the kitchen floor. Washed the kitchen floor and then the bathroom floor. I did the kitty litter. Then it was time to vacuum. I was listening to Praise 106.5 fm.

When I finished that I got ready for work, had lunch and could hardly smoke a joint and I had to go to work. Work was great. From there I went to the drug store and picked up some condoms, (he uses large so the free ones don't help ). I bought laundry soap, garbage bags and pads. Then I went to the labyrinth and said prayers for my family and my friends. The list is getting longer but I love praying. It removes worries from my heart.

My Ndandi still sings to me this chorus:-

Why worry when you can pray?
Trust in Jesus, He knows the way
Don't be a doubting Thomas
Believe upon His promise (promise)
Why worry, worry, worry when you can pray?

I came home and I heard Pascale was making us dinner. Give us this day our daily bread. She made sausages and kale. We a movie called Persepolis.

Friday night Dear Husband (DH) gets a massage from me. It was my New Year's resolution in January 2007 I told DH I would be giving him massages every week. Love is sweet because he offered to give me massages on Sundays. We are still going strong. There was a couple of weeks there we did not follow through but now we are back. Even when I don't feel like it, I do it because it not only makes DH feel better and guess what, I am left feeling better as well. It just takes the first couple of minutes to warm to it. When he is massaging me he doesn't need to warm up. I want to be like that.

Tonight I am not doing the dishes. It is 10:30pm.

Love ya
Mson

Happy Easter to all my friends here...I hope you have a blessed day in every way and that love surrounds you...I am thinking of you all and wishing you good will and love and health...

Dear Friends,

My heart just gets bigger when I read your words of encouragement. You are so beloved to me. It makes me truly realize this world is full of good people who honestly are connected. God doesn't make mistakes. He may put some stumbling blocks in front of us but he also gives us the means of looking at problems and having the will to figure out how to overcome them.

Homer, did you go back to the doctor on your arm? Are you on an antibiotic for infection? How does that work with all your other medication? I hear you on driving 50 miles and not being able to see your doctor. Gas is so expensive here, I try to just go into town twice a week and then combine as many stops as possible. And, I only live a mile from town. Last year, my gasoline bills came to over $1,700.00. Awful! But, I did drive to Lodi twice to submit my wines for the San Joaquin County Fair and the California State Fair competitions. When we won, we were invited to pour our wines at Sacramento for the awards ceremony.

We are not the first country to go into Iraq for the oil. England went there before WW2.

Mson,

I love your sweet and open honesty. And, your love for your beloved husband. See how you are blessed. I can see you have always been a special child and very trusting on what is giving you today and tomorrow.

Our priest's twin brother (also a priest) is visiting from South Africa and yesterday was such a blessing, Good Friday at St. Rose. We have a very strong parish family. People here love each other. We had a special Jewish Seder meal on Wednesday night, celebrated in our Christian tradition, which, after all is rich from our blessings coming down to us from Abraham and the Jewish people.

MA

Just hang in there and your card will come. If you have to go to the ER, for goodness sakes, GO. And, it is not something your boss would be wise in doing to deny you to go to the doctor when you are sick. When you are sick, it is not like you can put in two week's notice to get time off. Sick, you are sick and you have to take care of it. Period. Take care of yourself.

Love to you all,

Bobbie

Yeah, Bobbie, I took antibiotics for a week...its much better now...still sore but better, thanks.
And Mson, you will be fine and I think you will be able to stay in Canada..that is my prediction...xoxo

How is your leg doing? Did they recommend any kind of physical therapy?
Hope you are feeling better each and every day. Knowing you, you probably are getting antsy being tied down with one hard behind your back when you have all these other things you want to be doing.

Love,

Bobbie

Yeah, actually my knee healed rather quickly, it was just badly scrapped, had on good thick jeans...thank goodness I wasn't wearing shorts. It was San Fran so it was chilly and I had on a thick pare of pants and a T shirt with a thick sweater over it, hiking boots and a helmet so I am really lucky...still P.O.ed at the damn driver of that SUV that just kind of blue me off as I lay bleeding on the street...people!! Go figure. But thanks for asking, sweet lady and I hope you have a wonderful day...how is the house coming along? Still one headache after another? Seems like when it rains it pores..

I don't have a cold anymore! Thank God the sore throat is gone...I hated that!! Well, I still cough every now and then (same as before, since December) and -gross out alert! - I seem to have a neverending supply of mucus...yuuuuck. But other than that I'm good.


I actually got my temporary card, and my regular card should be coming in the mail soon.

You know, I haven't gotten checked for any STDS other than HIV. I just realized that. I probably should go get checked soon...

my right arm, near my wrist, is kind of swollen... a teensy bit bigger than my left arm. it was swollen last night. no idea what that's about.
I freaked out for a minute tho..

Homerx, how is your arm doing? I miss you!!

MA,

I am very glad that you got your card and that you don't have a cold anymore. Please continue to take care of yourself and your body will get healthier and healthier. I thank the Creator for giving you a card. You should still see your doctor and take it easy with yourself. Remember to make a list of everything you are going through.

Today I woke up at 9:00am. I went back to bed up to 9:10am and then Dear Husband (DH) told me that Pascale was making oatmeal for breakfast. We had breakfast and then went to Star Bucks where I had a caramel apple cider and a croissant . I am not really a fan of oatmeal. From there I went to the labyrinth and said prayers for my family and friends. Then I did the dishes that I neglected last night.

Soon we got picked up mbae sister in law and her fiance and driven to father in law's house. I visited for a while and then had a nap for an hour until 4:15pm so that I could be ready for a 420 joint.

We had a great dinner. Pork, potatoes and vegetables. I am now going to take my medication. It is 9:06pm and then DH and I are going to go to the hot tub. A little rest and relaxation.

All the best peoplez.
Love
Mson

Homerx,

Thanks for the encouragement. I was refused status once because I have AIDS, Then I was given a temporary resident permit. I was supposed to be on this status for three years and then apply again. I applied and was given a year. In that year, I am supposed to apply for permanent resident under the temporary resident permit holder class. My permit expires in October this year. I can apply for another one.

I am waiting to get legal aid so that my lawyer can help me with my permanent residence application. I have been having issues with immigration since 1998. This lawyer has been with me every step of the way and I am glad he will be able to assist.

One thing though, the legal aid thinks I am making over what they look as the limit. So I will not be looking for a job just to get into legal aid. It is madness.

I am come to the conclusion that even if I don't remain in Canada, I have had a good time and I did not waste my time. My DH says that he will come with me to Africa if I get kicked out. That uplifts me. Whether I come or go, it is all in the Creator's hands.

Love you
Mson

Homer, that somebody could just fly right on by when you laying there in the street hurting. I would have been the first one to hit the breaks and be out of my car to see if I could help you. Maybe it was one of those financial guys worried half out of their minds. Just have to forgive them. Like Jesus said, "they don't know what they do." Sometimes that pretty much can describe most of us.

You continue to get better. Please post a picture of the new family. What kind of puppies are they? Is Ricky good with them? He looks like a really nice guy.

I told you how much Walter and I both loved Don and John. They were the sweetest guys. It is amazing. I met them on a trip we went to in England and Scotland. Don had AIDS and by then was pretty sick. We were in this hotel in Edinborough, Scotland and Don and John and I were in the pool and spa. John and I were playing with Don in the water. Really it was healing work. Then we went up into the spa and this woman came in with her son and saw the three of us together and it was unbelieveable her reaction. Like :shock . She grabbed her kid and left the pool area. I had never been exposed to that kind of blatant homophobic fear. It actually was shocking. We were together as friends. I don't know what could possibly have triggered her off into thinking by getting into the pool with a couple of men and me a married woman who was their friend could trip her out to the point we could together somehow mess up her and her child. Oh well. Go try to figure. Homer, sometimes, it is not worth the effort. We can try to do our best. That is all.

Glad you knee is better. Know that all of us also pray for you dear one.

Mson,

It is good to hear how well you are taking care of yourself, eating well, loving well (sounds like you have a honey there girl). I always enjoy your writing. Hope you are keeping a journal. Somehow, I feel you will truly have another child of your own to love and to cherish. All that you have gone through is a saga worth remembering. Your ability to forgive is one of your greatest achievements Mson. To honestly and truly forgive is something pretty rare in our times. But, you have gone to the pits and have come right back up. You will stay there too dear lady.

I am not going to worry about the house right now. It almost made me sick for three days. They have agreed to replace four of the double hung windows (must be because we were right all along, otherwise, why would they take that responsibility?) I am going to wait until they get that all done, then I will write and send them the almost $4,000.00 it took me to get the repairs done. Will have to pray they pay me back. It is a big hit.

MA, see you got your card back. Even temporary is still a card. Canada is a good country. Please try not to stress over HIV. I don't know much about lumps on your legs. If you feel you are not getting the proper information, Mson had a really good idea. Write it down. When you go in, even if the doctor gives you 5 minutes say, I have these questions. It is your nickle. Remember that. Don't be intimidated by the time you are left waiting in the doctor's office examination room for him/her to come in.


Take care all of you.

Also good to hear from Tini, Supporter from Singapore.

Love,

Bobbie

The babies are yourkies...I will post a pick when they get bigger, right now they look like tiny rats, eyes closed and just 2 small and new to the world still...but soon. Thanks for asking...I LOVE you, Bobbie...do you realize how wonderful and loving and giving you are? I wish every one was like you. When you talk about Don I can feel the love and when you talked about the lady and her child leaving the pool I could picture it. People are so paranoid and so uninformed after all these years that it amazes me...maybe they just cant see beyond there own lives and cant put there selves in other peoples shows, which is a shame...its called empathy and its a beautiful thing...oh well...I guess you cant change the world and all we can do is all we can do.
Until tomorrow, hope you all had a joyous Easter on this Holly day and remember that today isn't about eggs and rabbits, its about Jesus and the miracle that was his life...
Peace and Love and good health, HomerX

I woke at around 10:00am and got dressed. Dear Husband (DH) and I went to the Star Bucks and walked mbae the ocean on our way home. I listened to music on my mp3 player and let my mind wander. Then I was on the computer chatting and emailing. I went for my nap at 3:15pm for an hour. I made 4:00pm tea and about 5:10pm we went and caught the bus.

My desire was to have Kentucky fried chicken (KFC) so we alighted that bus and waited for the bus that went mbae KFC. We got there and they had just closed. We decided to have Chinese food. From there I went and had a long bath and now I am heading to bed.

Thanks for all the kind words Bobbie. May it all come to pass. I will be praying for you concerning the payments of the repairs that you have done. You deserve every penny back mi lady.

Homerx, I did not think the puppies would still be looking like rats too funny. That story Bobbie told about the pool is real sad. People fear what they do not understand. I have been to the Inter cultural center to do a presentation on HIV/AIDS and before I left, I saw the cup I was using in the garbage bin. I mean, I had just taught the women what was risky and what was not. It saddened me up to this day.

MA, glad you are feeling better. Keep taking care of yourself and you will get better . Try to see the doctor even though you are feeling better. Don't let the doctor tell you that you are not in a high risk behaviour. You know yourself and you know you need this final test for your peace of mind. Many doctors think women are not at risk of getting HIV. Yet the highest growing numbers for HIV folks is women between the ages of 15 to 24. I am only telling you this so that you may have knowledge as knowledge is power.

It is 10:00pm, DH will give my weekly massage and I will fall asleep. I better drink another cup of water. Good stuff.

Tomorrow is another day.

Love
Mson.