I am taking my treat early today. Finally
finished up my taxes, the county
assessor's information on taxation on the
new vineyards, got the B&B cleaned up
and ready for two nice couples coming to
stay for two nights for the Zinfandel
Festival. They sound so nice and I am
really looking forward to sharing my home
with them.
One of the strongest connections that I
feel from being on eHealth Forum, is being
able to share what is in our hearts,
especially with kind and good people.
Life is a blessing and I know it. Mson,
you and Homer are true blessings to me.
Now, Mson, you are healthy and strong with
some good flesh on your bones girl. That
is just tremendous and good to know that
you are taking good care of yourself.
Homer, how do they drain that injury?
With a needle? I would probably faint
from just having to see it. Actually, at
times like that, I close my eyes. Out of
sight out of mind with me. Just a baby
chicken here.
How are the new arrivals? They must be
cute as little buttons. I was in Farm
Supply the other day to get something for
the vineyard, and they had these precious
baby chicks. Cute as the dickens. You
couldn't help but just lean over the box
they were in and fall in love.
Ma, it will be good to share with you and
anyone who can use uplifting of the heart,
mind and spirit. I can tell you honestly
Mson and Homer are blessed. They have
true and compassionate hearts.
Sometimes, it is easy to just show how
fiesty and smart you can be but really
living in the real world, who wants to
spend time responding to that?
Too many other things of real importance
in my life right now. And, there is only
so much time and energy a person has.
Loyalty is one of the most important
values I possess. My friend is my friend.
My mother said even when I was a little
girl, my friends were everything to me and
I would do anything for them. Still will
and they are friends for life, and, I love
them.
Mson, it has been cold down here. Can't
bring myself to get up either. Mark
called and wanted to attend a time trial
in Fresno but he believes that the
Grapevine Highway 5 coming up from L.A.
may be closed from snow. So may not be
able to get through tomorrow. Be here for
Easter for sure.
Mson, I don't know what happened with your
mother, but honestly it is true sometimes
mother's resent their daughter's and their
father's love for them. Sometimes it is
hard to work out things even with our own
families. I know for sure I loved my
father more. It was just the way it was.
I loved my mother too, but she seemed to
favor my two brothers. I don't completely
understand how that all works, but I love
my son more. Maybe it is because he is so
easy to love, doesn't make waves, and my
daughter was the type of child who would
go down a slide head first, all speed
ahead, where Mark would carefully get onto
the slide and hold on and go down slowly.
Honestly, as my husband and I got older,
the more and more alike we became in our
values and belief systems with his mom and
dad who really loved us. Now, as my
children are getting older, we often think
and are on the same page on things that
really count.
Mark and I were flying home from Italy
three years ago and I saw the way he was
sleeping. Just like I do. His hands and
feet are exactly like mine, his hair, too.
And, best of all, he is a man of great
goodness and faith. Both my children are
good, have faith and love. How lucky and
blessed can anybody on this earth be to
have that and know you have instilled
lasting values in your children?
Must have lunch.
Love to all of you.
Bobbie
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3547 Location: Earth..usually, USA
Thanks: 438
Thanked:1285
Posted: 03-14-08 17:21pm
Mson, yes, Bobbie is very loving and
maternal. Nobody messes with her
chicks!!!! That is one of the
many things I love about Bobbie, she tells
it like it is! I L O V E you Bobbie! and
mr.tibbs can bite me!!!! you know I have
mr.tibbs and a couple of other people
blocked so that I don't even see what they
say but I can imagine!!! If you don't want
to see mean peoples ranting and raving
then go to there profile and click "IGNORE
THIS USER" and you wont even see what they
write...i love that !
And Mson, you always make me cry...in a
good way. I was really beginning to think
my time on this earth was not going to
impact any one in a positive way. And now,
it has I feel and that makes me proud and
joyful and H A
P P Y!!!
I do feel guilty because I have not been
exorcising since I got back from San
Fransisco but I am still so sore from the
accident. I could walk on my treadmill but
my knee is still sore and I still cant use
my right arm so I will have to just take
it easy for a bit. I have been sleeping a
lot also, maybe its the Vicodine and not
working out. Although working out by
skipping rope and walking the treadmill
and a little weight lifting is hard
sometimes, it does, in the end, GIVE you
energy. Getting
started is the hard part but once I am
healed from my accident then I think I
will be able to get back to my regular
schedule. Until then, I will continue to
sleep and eat!!!!
Peace and Love,homer
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3547 Location: Earth..usually, USA
Thanks: 438
Thanked:1285
BOBBIE! Posted: 03-14-08 17:31pm
You must have been writing at the same
time as me! The puppies are doing great, I
was wrong though, it is 3 girls and 3
boys. As for the draining of the elbow,
yes they used a needle. I do like you,
close my eyes or look the other way and
usually talk to the nurse about something
else. But it actually felt good to get
that fluid out of there!!!! Thanks for
asking and for your concern! Love,homer
|
Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 755 Location: ,
Thanks: 109
Thanked:241
Dear Homer Posted: 03-14-08 19:41pm
With all the good you do, then sometimes,
God takes back a little bit just to show
us who is in charge. Bless your heart.
Take the time to heal. If you sleep and
eat, eat and sleep, it is o.k. Your body
is needing it's own time to recover from
this injury.
Then you have the big responsibility of
those new lives brought into yours and
Ricky's.
I can tell you honestly, even though I am
not naive, that post by Mr. Got Out Of The
Wrong Side Of The Bed, did upset me. I
felt it was hateful and mean what he said.
Almost like he resented that there are
others out there who can honestly connect
and care for one another. Like Mson, I
had a hard time getting up the next day.
It is amazing how mean words can affect us
in a negative and hurtful way.
If he was on the HIV and AIDS forum, there
are lots of posts he could respond to. He
didn't have to get upset with our caring
and messages to each other. Our messages
have never been hurtful to anyone. I
sometimes read what other posters put on
and it can give me encouragement.
I am so glad you have told me of your
background. Being a bartender certainly
is the next best thing to being a licensed
psychologist. My granddaughter Nicole is
putting herself through nursing school as
a bartender. Just imagine, "Nurse,
please, help me out here! Bring me a
drink!" I know I am bad but the picture
is just too precious to contemplate. I
take her to events when she visits me,
this beautiful 6'2" blond beauty and I
tell friends and business associates
that. They love it.
And, Homer, as we have been in
communication now this past month, I am
going to say what I see when I look at
you. Tall, 6'1", sandy hair, probably
40-43 years old, strong and very caring.
And, green/hazel eyes. Nice hair. You
have good hair, fair skin and one of your
best features is your long arms.
My impression for the day.
Love and take care of those babies and I
am so proud of you ingnoring people with
the way that is now available to us. Be
mean, it is a big goodbye time. Be nice,
and you are welcome.
Love,
Bobbie
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Bobbie Posted: 03-14-08 21:44pm
My mother called me names, she beat me
like nobody's business. Her brother had
sexual relations with me before I was
eight years old. I remember it like
yesterday. Her sister abused us as well.
Those three ganged on us like there was no
tomorrow. But Jesus knew there was a
tomorrow. A brighter tomorrow.
When late Jessy was three years old, she
asked me why I was shouting at her. I
felt like beating her and throwing her off
the balcony. Seriously. Then is must
have been God who stopped and made me
kneel and explain to my daughter that I
had a disease that would kill me. I told
her I was worried about her and about me.
I told her not to tell anybody. I trusted
her. I did not know she would die before
me.
Years later I would look at how she
exhibited signs of self worth while very
young. I never asked my abusers why they
were doing these things to me. Certainly
not at three years old. Not at 12 or so
when I was raped again. No wonder I have
Bi Polar. My self worth was down and I
did not respect my body. I was ignorant
about many things. I was promiscuous, I
was a single mother prostituting while
attending college. We had to eat. I got
raped again and again.
My country Kenya does not have social
services like they have in British
columbia. It is like night and day. I do
imagine Jessy in Canada. She would raise
to be a great woman. I'll be that woman.
Bobbie, that is what happened with my Mami
and thanks for asking.
Who is Mark? Granddaughter? Wow.
Congratulations. And one that is into
nursing? And paying her way? Nice!
Jessy would be getting to 18 years old and
maybe she would have given me a
granddaughter or grandson. Maybe twins,
maybe triples. A girl can dream...
The Everly Brothers
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
When I want you in my arms
When I want you and all your charms
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
When I feel blue in the night
And I need you to hold me tight
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam
I can make you mine, taste your lips of
wine
Anytime night or day
Only trouble is, gee whiz
I'm dreamin' my life away
I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam
I can make you mine, taste your lips of
wine
Anytime night or day
Only trouble is, gee whiz
I'm dreamin' my life away
I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
FADE
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Homerx Posted: 03-14-08 22:03pm
homerx
wrote:
Mson, yes, Bobbie is very
loving and maternal. Nobody messes with
her chicks!!!! That is one of the
many things I love about Bobbie, she tells
it like it is! I L O V E you Bobbie! and
mr.tibbs can bite me!!!! you know I have
mr.tibbs and a couple of other people
blocked so that I don't even see what they
say but I can imagine!!! If you don't want
to see mean peoples ranting and raving
then go to there profile and click "IGNORE
THIS USER" and you wont even see what they
write...i love that !
And Mson, you always make me cry...in a
good way. I was really beginning to think
my time on this earth was not going to
impact any one in a positive way. And now,
it has I feel and that makes me proud and
joyful and H A
P P Y!!!
I do feel guilty because I have not been
exorcising since I got back from San
Fransisco but I am still so sore from the
accident. I could walk on my treadmill but
my knee is still sore and I still cant use
my right arm so I will have to just take
it easy for a bit. I have been sleeping a
lot also, maybe its the Vicodine and not
working out. Although working out by
skipping rope and walking the treadmill
and a little weight lifting is hard
sometimes, it does, in the end, GIVE you
energy. Getting
started is the hard part but once I am
healed from my accident then I think I
will be able to get back to my regular
schedule. Until then, I will continue to
sleep and eat!!!!
Peace and Love,homer
I knew this song which I sang to Dear
Husband (DH) while we were dating. "I
love you darling and that is no lie, stick
mbae me and I will stick mbae you. When
you cry , I
cry too, stick mbae me and I will stick
mbae you.
Homerx, when you cry, I cry too.
I got a call to go for training for a
cleaning job on Monday. I guess I am
working cleaning again. It is our pocket
money. Helps me send some $$ to Kenya and
also helps support our habits. Booze and
I told the
Creator that I have given everything into
His hands. He knows why I had to leave
the other place. Mostly it is because I
had to literally chase every pay cheque.
But there was a problem. I used to damp
the garbage in an alley. I have been
raped before and I could just see it
happening again. I would have butterflies
in my stomach every time I took garbage
out and sometimes I had to go there twice.
That is is not good for my health and I
even developed eczema on my arm. I think
the would not allow
this sort of torture to happen to me
again. So I was removed from there and
into a better place. The pay is less but
I am safe. Safety is number one. And I
had told the people whose office I cleaned
right after I started that I had had a bad
experience before and I don't know about
that alley in the winter and they said,
"Let's wait for winter. I was outta there
like there was no tomorrow..
I must eat dinner. We are going out.
Thought of you today, hope the arm is
better soon. Sometimes the Universe does
find ways to help us just sit. Do
nothing.
I got home from work a few hours ago -
today was only a 4 and a half hour shift,
yay!! Homerx, to answer your question, I
work retail. I'm a cashier. Not the
greatest job but I don't have very many
options, being an 18-yr-old only in her
second semester of college.. Even though
the shift was short, it was not without
its stresses..but some funny stuff
happened too. Some crazy lady came in and
was screaming - SCREAMING! -about how she
needed to return these shoes she bought,
even though they were filthy. gave me a
good laugh.
wow Homerx, you were a bartender for 20
yrs?! That mustve been hard! I mean they
have schools for that...Would you ever
consider doing it again?
And yes, I LOVE "The Origin Of Love"!! If
I absolutely had to pick a favorite song
from Hedwig (I can't because I love them
all!), I'd say "The Origin of Love". It's
so beautiful. I got to see a live
production of Hedwig when I was helping
out at a production (First I was a
stagehand, then I was the merch girl for
the bands that were playing in the show).
The music is even better live. It was so
much fun. It may be happening again this
year and I may get to be the merch girl
again! Yay!
Muthoni, thank you so much for your kind
words. And yes, that is the correct
birthdate on my profile. Out of
curiosity-why do you ask?
I woke up this morning feeling TERRIBLE -
not rested at all. I did not want to get
up. My bf (from now on i will refer to my
boyfriend as my bf) was up early of
course. I had told him to get me up when
he woke up, but of course I fell back
asleep. I
really want to start waking up early! I
thought I had got enough sleep.
Also starting the morning crying and
stressed. Read about lipodystrophy, which
can be caused by and found this about
symptoms of lipodystrophy:
"Fat gain (in the stomach, breasts in both
women and men, shoulders, neck and
sometimes lipoma - small lumps of fat
under the skin)."
There are small lumps of fat on my
legs.. the ones i mention
in my very first post....and the doctor
said something about it being
lymphoma...Although im fairly sure i
havent gained weight because of
lipodystrophy (IF I do indeed have it) -
that weight gain is just bad diet..
Reading that really depressed me and I had
a horrible morning because of it. My body
felt weak. I almost called in sick. But
went I got up and started moving I started
feeling a little more energized, and
managed to make it thru my day. my bf
picked me up and we had a joyful ride
home. We didn't have anything to cook so I
just popped a pizza into the oven and we
ate that. He usually cooks really yummy,
healthy food, but we don't have anything
right now.
Bobbie, thank you for welcoming me into
this forum. I have read some of your
previous posts and I can tell that you are
a beautiful woman with a heart of gold.
I think I'm going to watch a movie now-one
of my favorite movies ever, Ed Wood. It's
directed by Tim Burton, starring Johnny
Depp and Martin Landau (absolutely
hysterical and perfect as Bela Lugosi!)
Love,
MA
|
Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 755 Location: ,
Thanks: 109
Thanked:241
With Respect Posted: 03-14-08 23:29pm
To the tradedy that has happened to you
Mson in your young life, It is beyond me
to understand. Your mother and others in
your family doing that to you?! For you
now to be able to forgive is an amazing
choice, beyond my comprehension to
understand. I am only speaking if it were
me. I don't know if I could forgive or if
I would want to get back at what they did
to me. You have made that decision.
Mson, you choose love. You are the chosen
one that we can look to for
understanding.
I honestly love you Mson. I also know
that God doesn't make mistakes. He brings
us together for a reason, even if it is in
front of this computer screen. Be well
dear.
Bobbie
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Miss Anonymous Posted: 03-14-08 23:55pm
missanonymous
wrote:
Muthoni, thank you so much for your kind
words. And yes, that is the correct
birthdate on my profile. Out of
curiosity-why do you ask?
Love,
MA
Miss Anonymous,
My late daughter was born on the 31st of
August 1990. Just the closeness to her
age made me have goose bumps. You know
what I mean? I was asking so that if it
was really true, I could embrace like a
daughter. If you let me. Maybe I am just
crazy.
Love
Mson
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3547 Location: Earth..usually, USA
Thanks: 438
Thanked:1285
Posted: 03-14-08 23:59pm
missanonymous
wrote:
I got home from work a few
hours ago - today was only a 4 and a half
hour shift, yay!! Homerx, to answer your
question, I work retail. I'm a cashier.
Not the greatest job but I don't have very
many options, being an 18-yr-old only in
her second semester of college.. Even
though the shift was short, it was not
without its stresses..but some funny stuff
happened too. Some crazy lady came in and
was screaming - SCREAMING! -about how she
needed to return these shoes she bought,
even though they were filthy. gave me a
good laugh.
wow Homerx, you were a bartender for 20
yrs?! That mustve been hard! I mean they
have schools for that...Would you ever
consider doing it again?
And yes, I LOVE "The Origin Of Love"!! If
I absolutely had to pick a favorite song
from Hedwig (I can't because I love them
all!), I'd say "The Origin of Love". It's
so beautiful. I got to see a live
production of Hedwig when I was helping
out at a production (First I was a
stagehand, then I was the merch girl for
the bands that were playing in the show).
The music is even better live. It was so
much fun. It may be happening again this
year and I may get to be the merch girl
again! Yay!
Muthoni, thank you so much for your kind
words. And yes, that is the correct
birthdate on my profile. Out of
curiosity-why do you ask?
I woke up this morning feeling TERRIBLE -
not rested at all. I did not want to get
up. My bf (from now on i will refer to my
boyfriend as my bf) was up early of
course. I had told him to get me up when
he woke up, but of course I fell back
asleep. I
really want to start waking up early! I
thought I had got enough sleep.
Also starting the morning crying and
stressed. Read about lipodystrophy, which
can be caused by and found this about
symptoms of lipodystrophy:
"Fat gain (in the stomach, breasts in both
women and men, shoulders, neck and
sometimes lipoma - small lumps of fat
under the skin)."
There are small lumps of fat on my
legs.. the ones i mention
in my very first post....and the doctor
said something about it being
lymphoma...Although im fairly sure i
havent gained weight because of
lipodystrophy (IF I do indeed have it) -
that weight gain is just bad diet..
Reading that really depressed me and I had
a horrible morning because of it. My body
felt weak. I almost called in sick. But
went I got up and started moving I started
feeling a little more energized, and
managed to make it thru my day. my bf
picked me up and we had a joyful ride
home. We didn't have anything to cook so I
just popped a pizza into the oven and we
ate that. He usually cooks really yummy,
healthy food, but we don't have anything
right now.
Bobbie, thank you for welcoming me into
this forum. I have read some of your
previous posts and I can tell that you are
a beautiful woman with a heart of gold.
I think I'm going to watch a movie now-one
of my favorite movies ever, Ed Wood. It's
directed by Tim Burton, starring Johnny
Depp and Martin Landau (absolutely
hysterical and perfect as Bela Lugosi!)
Love,
MA
ED WOOD is a classic....I LOVE that
movie..and Johnny Depp is such a great
actor...sounds like we like a lot of the
same movies...Here is THE ORAGINE OF LOVE
for Mson and Bobbie, I think you will like
it..
http://www.youtube.co
m/watch?v=5hBWa3n0_-Q
I also love WICKED LITTLE TOWN, its my
town...yeah, cant pick a fave, I love them
all. Anyway, it is late and I must hit the
sack...Nite Sweet ladies, I know so many
men ( and women) would be SO jealous of
all the love you give me...thank you...and
Bobbie, you kind of got it right...all
except the hair and that might be true
except I shave my head...I have sinse I
was in my 30s because my hair was so wavy
and curly that I couldnt handle it and I
never let it grow back, this shaved head
is just 2 EZ to manage and a lot of people
say I have a really nice shaped skull!!!
One Love,
homer
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Bobbie my dear! Posted: 03-15-08 00:08am
You must forgive others who have wronged
you before you can be forgiven (by God)
for your wrongdoing (sins).
Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive men their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 18:21
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord,
how many times shall I forgive my
brother when he sins against me? Up to
seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven
times, but seventy times seven.
Love Mson
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3547 Location: Earth..usually, USA
Thanks: 438
Thanked:1285
Posted: 03-15-08 00:50am
If only I could be that forgiving...but
alas, Jesus is a better man than I...I
haven't talked to my Mother in almost 2
years and I pray to forgive her but deep
inside I don't.... To
be perfectly honest, I hope I never see or
hear from her again....I know that is an
awful thing to say but I don't and cant
have that kind of racist homophobic drama
in my life...she makes me ill...physically
ill just to think of her so I try not
to...but I ask God for the ability to
forgive her... ...it
has not come to me.
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Posted: 03-15-08 00:59am
At around 12:30pm I started cleaning the
house. Friday is house keeping day. I
scrubbed the tub, cleaned the toilet and
the sink. Put the clean dishes away and
washed the few that were there. I wiped
the stove top and the counters. Swept the
kitchen floor and washed it. Washed the
bathroom floor. Then I was debating if I
wanted to vacuum today or tomorrow. I
decided to vacuum today and was smoking a
J at the same
time. I dressed as quickly as I could,
washed my face and brushed my teeth. I
started jogging lightly to work so that I
was not late. Then I was like caca, I
forgot to eat lunch.
I see Boobie saying she is going to eat
lunch. Very important. I had to send a
friend to get me a sausage roll, a pop and
three wontons. Lunch for the champions.
At least I ate. I have to be more
careful. Be in the moment. I have to
wake up earlier. But tomorrow is a
weekend. I can sleep in.
A guy I work with and his wife came from a
meeting and they were saying that the
needle exchange has been evicted. It is
all about harm reduction but no one wants
junkies in their backyard.
Shortly after Jessy died, I did a needle
of some substance. I was looking for
happiness but I found livid hell. Once
bitten, twice shy. It is unreal but it
happened. I found this guy in the laundry
room. I was 29 years old. I had been in
Canada for over a year. He asked my if I
had drinks in my room and I said yes. On
and on it went and one time, he was in my
room in the bathroom giving me a needle.
I had told him we cannot share because I
have HIV. I became psychotic. Had to
test for Hep C thank God I don't have it.
Thank God.
So, somehow I understand the need for a
needle exchange. But nobody wants the
site in their neighbourhood.
From work I went to the labyrinth. Did my
prayers. And came home. While I was at
worked I peeked into this topic and I saw
so many replies that I could not wait to
come home and read them without
distraction at work. I chew every word.
We went out for dinner (that is another
reason I need work). I had chicken wings
with Ceaser salad. For dessert I had a
hot chocolate with rum. Why not? It was
yummy.
I was wearing my heavy Native sweater at
the table and Dear husband is like "I know
it is awkward to remove your sweater but
it is hot in here." I asked him if he is
ashamed of me and my sweater. I was
kidding. Then a few minutes
later I removed because I remembered that
I removed it at home when I eat.
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Posted: 03-15-08 01:16am
homerx
wrote:
If only I could be that
forgiving...but alas, Jesus is a better
man than I...I haven't talked to my Mother
in almost 2 years and I pray to forgive
her but deep inside I don't.... To
be perfectly honest, I hope I never see or
hear from her again....I know that is an
awful thing to say but I don't and cant
have that kind of racist homophobic drama
in my life...she makes me ill...physically
ill just to think of her so I try not
to...but I ask God for the ability to
forgive her... ...it
has not come to me.
Sorry to hear.
First I wrote my mother, then I met her
after a nine year separation, then I
prayed for her and my other abusers for 2
weeks each. Then I forgave them. Some I
wish never to see again in my life. I
forgave them but that doesn't mean I have
to see them again.
She showed me that she has changed that is
why I am building a relationship with her
again. She's my Mami you know. I had a
child and not any more. I know she loved
me. They were very backward people her
and her bro and sis.
It is Friday. DH gets a massage. I get
mine on Sunday. We started doing this in
2007. It was my New year's resolution.
For this year is to do dishes at night and
shower at night. Tonight I am not
showering as I will shower in the morning
when I treat my hair. I only go to the
salon for a relaxer. I have kinky hair.
You look gorgeous with your shaven head.
I can see you in my imagination. I can
see you as a bartender as well. Turning
heads.
Love
Mson
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missanonymous
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-15-08 14:41pm
"My late daughter was born on the 31st of
August 1990. Just the closeness to her age
made me have goose bumps. You know what I
mean? I was asking so that if it was
really true, I could embrace like a
daughter. If you let me. Maybe I am just
crazy."
Muthoni, this is NOT crazy, at all!!
Reading this made me pause, because I have
been estranged from my mother ever since I
was 13...you are a beautiful person and a
beautiful woman, I would love to have you
as a mother figure ..
last nite I watched Ed Wood w/ my bf. This
was my second time watching it, and it
made me so happy! I had forgotten how
funny Bill Murray was, as Bunny
Breckinridge.
id write more but i must do my history
homework ...sooo boring..but
it must be done! talk to you all later!
<3<3<3
Much Love,
MA
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Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Posted: 03-15-08 15:24pm
Oh my God! I haven't finished reading and
I am wailing.
|
Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 755 Location: ,
Thanks: 109
Thanked:241
Dear Sweet Friends Posted: 03-15-08 16:39pm
Mson, your dearest daughter was blessed to
be born to you. You had her for those
first few years. Only the saintly come
into this world to finish up some lesson
to be learned and then return to Heaven.
It is to complete the perfection of their
souls. You will most definitely see Jessy
again. Bless you and her!. My
granddaughter is Jessy too. For Jessica.
She has two beautiful and precious little
girls. Also studying to be a nurse.
I am glad that you listen to that inner
knowing about that job when you had to
chase down your paycheck. That isn't
right. Just seems some people want to
have you work and try to worm out when it
comes to letting go of the money they owe
you. Honestly, it is pretty common with
some people.
Also, I want you to look at how your life
is good now and the good you are doing
about AIDS awareness. I love the spots
you will be doing, "I have AIDS, AIDS
doesn't have me!" That is so true, no
matter what we have, be it HPV, AIDS, any
physical malady is kind of like a tick on
your leg. You kick the tick off, put on
an antibiotic and go on with living. L I
V I N G!
MA, only God could bring you into contact
with Homer and Mson. Look at the
possibilities of opening your hearts to
one another. Just amazing and makes you
see how we are never forgotten.
That may be one of the reasons I feel in
love with my former BF. He was exactly
the kind of man I needed to be with. Lots
of things have happened in the two years
that I have known him. And, I would never
trade a single moment of it. Love is love
and that is what I still have in my heart
for him. He is precious and dear to me
and he trusts me like nobody else. I can
tell because we have many talks about his
early childhood up until now. Lots of
pain in his life. Only he can work it
out. There is such abandonement in his
life. That is the the thing I see the
strongest about his soul. I pray for him
as for all of you.
Homer, how is that arm doing today?
Please, don't fall again ever. And, never
fall and hit your head. Promise that if
you ever take a tumble again, you will put
your arms around your head and roll. You
have too much to give to those who love
you to let something bad happen to you.
Forgiveness is something that has to be
born from the inner heart. I honestly
don't believe every child is born to a
mother who can love unconditionally. Love
your child, you love their life choices
and the person they fall in love with.
Would you want you child to be married and
in a traditional relationship for outward
appearances sake and then turn your back
and look away even though every time you
see the unhappiness in their faces, it
would be o.k? As long as it looks good to
your friends and family. I say NO IT IS
NOT O.K. Let your children find somebody
who will love and treasure them.
|
Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 755 Location: ,
Thanks: 109
Thanked:241
Mson Posted: 03-15-08 21:28pm
We are all so truly connected. My former
BF's birthday is Jessy's birthday, August
31st. Look at how we all line up in the
way only God can know.
Love and cares for you and yours,
Bobbie
|
Muthoni
Supporter
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 1016 Location: From Kenya, Now in Canada
Thanks: 404
Thanked:270
Posted: 03-16-08 00:44am
Jessy has taught me a lot. She taught me
self worth. How to speak up for myself.
Quietly, precisely and clearly. She gave
me compliments. She made me feel loved
and wanted. She came to teach me and God
knew I would listen to her in her death.
Woi.
Today I woke up after 10:00am. I came to
the computer, then I had breakfast.
Skipped rope. I mend my skirt which I was
going to wear. (My Dear Husband (DH) is
listening to dream dream dream). I did
treatment to my hair. I do it at home to
save on the $$. I got dressed, had lunch
and went for my walk. I went to the
labyrinth in James Bay. I like it better.
After I finished the labyrinth I sat atn
the picnic table and colored two pages of
my activity book.
Then I decided to come home and on the way
it looked like it was going to rain. Mbae
the time I made tea, it was pouring
outside and I stood there with cup of tea
at the back door (glass) and I watched the
rain come down and sipped my tea.
Probably the highlight of my day.
I had a nap for 45 minutes. When I woke
up, it was time for DH and I to go visit
Ted and Gayle. Ted owns the club where I
work. He has been our good friend for a
long time. He spoke at our wedding. He
said that I have invited him for dinner in
the past for many days and that he still
owes me - that was nice to hear.
I am sipping on a strawberry mudshake. It
is 10:41pm
One WORLD one HOPE. Bobbie, we are all
one. Connected. It is amazing to me.
Wi chat later
Mson
|
missanonymous
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2008 Posts: 48 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Hello everyone! Posted: 03-16-08 01:34am
I'm in a
very good mood, and I hope everyone else
is feeling good too! I just got home from
work (only a 5hr shift, and I got to get
off early!) and I am about to go out to a
concert w/ some friends. I'm so excited!!!
I haven't been out in a while-I know it's
going to be fun.
To Roberta and Muthoni, I have been
reading your posts, and both of you have
such gorgeous, giving souls. Words can't
describe the joy and hope I have reading
your posts.
When I got off work I started to think
about this forum, about Muthoni, Roberta
and Homerx...there is a beautiful song
(well, a spoken word-piece set to music)
that I really want to share with all of
you...However, I can't find the lyrics
online (the artists are pretty obscure) so
I am going to transcribe them myself. I
may do this when I get home later tonight,
or I will do it tomorrow. I am eager to
share it with all of you.
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making
That is one of the
many things I love about Bobbie, she tells
it like it is! I L O V E you Bobbie! and
mr.tibbs can bite me!!!! 
you know I have
mr.tibbs and a couple of other people
blocked so that I don't even see what they
say but I can imagine!!! If you don't want
to see mean peoples ranting and raving
then go to there profile and click "IGNORE
THIS USER" and you wont even see what they
write...i love that !
H A
P P Y!!!
, I
cry too, stick mbae me and I will stick
mbae you.
I told the
Creator that I have given everything into
His hands. He knows why I had to leave
the other place. Mostly it is because I
had to literally chase every pay cheque.
But there was a problem. I used to damp
the garbage in an alley. I have been
raped before and I could just see it
happening again. I would have butterflies
in my stomach every time I took garbage
out and sometimes I had to go there twice.
That is is not good for my health and I
even developed eczema on my arm. I think
the 
I
really want to start waking up early! I
thought I had got enough sleep.
To
be perfectly honest, I hope I never see or
hear from her again....I know that is an
awful thing to say but I don't and cant
have that kind of racist homophobic drama
in my life...she makes me ill...physically
ill just to think of her so I try not
to...but I ask God for the ability to
forgive her... 
Then a few minutes
later I removed because I remembered that
I removed it at home when I eat.
