I just had my baby 11 days ago and I think she is the most beautiful and special thing EVER! The problem is I think I am getting postpartem depression. It doesn't happen all the time. Mainly at night. I think about cutting myself, hanging myself, but mostly hitting my head against things. I haven't done it, it just crosses my mind alot. The worst part is, as much as I love my little girl, when I am freaking out I think I am going to drop her. I picture myself just letting go and crying. I haven't done it and I don't think I will but sometimes it really scares me. I feel more anger towards my husband because I feel he doesn't help me when I really need it. Anyhow, I want to tell my doctor but I am terrified about going on pills. I never do good on those. Also my main concern is that if I am going through depression, will they take her away? Like I said, I don't go through it often. Just when I have only had 2 hours of sleep and I can't seem to do things right. I don't want to tell the doctor "yes I think I am going through postpartum depression." and then having them take her away. What do they do when and if you are going through it?