I was hoping someone has been in a similar
situation and could give me advice... he
seems very upset about this (and he is
usually the happiest person I know).
My boyfriend has always been able to come
when we have sex and during everything
else. Once a few weeks ago, when we were
having sex, he didn't think he could but
eventually he did. Then last week, we were
having sex and stopped since he felt weird
and sick. The next day, we tried having
sex again but he felt like he couldn't
come and couldn't do it (despite being
hard and turned on when we started). I
think he was just worrying that he
wouldn't be able to come. He says there
isn't anything else going on except that
now he is worried that it has happened a
few times and he kept thinking about it.
Is there anything I can do to help? I'll
try not to act like it is a big deal or
anything if it happens again, etc. But is
this just a "him thinking about it too
much" thing and psyching himself out? Has
this ever happened to anyone with a
partner and how long did it take for him
to get over it? He says he wants to wait a
little while now before trying again...
but I'm just worried that when we do, this
will just be hanging over us and it might
happen again. I just don't know how to
approach it.
If it matters, we're in our early twenties
and we've been together for almost two
years.
|
MyLove4U
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2008 Posts: 47 Location: Rimini, Italy
Posted: 02-16-08 19:32pm
well i'm not sure. but a little over a
year ago my husband was doing about the
same thing. he didn't stay hard though.
but we figured out it was stress. i mean
being in a house full of my mom, sister,
and older brother trying to have sex with
a room with out a door that locks. but it
took us a year to get over it. it wasn't
really that long though. i mean this was
before we got married and we were 5,000
miles apart for most of the year. you
should try to get it off his mind.
reassure him that it's a we'll safe and
great place and time to have sex. or do
something a little more kinky then you
normally do. or best thing to try!! give
him a back massage and then move out to
the rest of the body. that should relax
him enough.
but if it goes on try having him go to the
doctor. men should come every so often or
their sperm will get really nasty. i saw
it on a show once. yuck!
|
antigone
Supporter
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 918 Location: IL
Thanks: 45
Thanked:16
Posted: 02-16-08 22:14pm
He should talk to a doctor about this. It
can definitely be made worse with worry.
Tell him not to dwell on it. Seeing a
doctor may alleviate any fears.
|
Thus Spoke Mia
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 30
Posted: 02-17-08 20:32pm
Chances are, there's nothing wrong but a
little performance anxiety. He thinks that
since he couldn't do it once, every time
has a chance of having that same outcome.
I think every guy hits that roadblock at
least once in his sex life.
Try to take his mind off it, and when it
happens - keep doing what you're doing,
and don't treat it like it's a big deal.
Tell him it still felt amazing, and you'll
try for it next time. Once he relaxes and
realizes you don't think it's something to
worry about, he might catch on and follow
your cue.
Or, he might be the kind to be reassured
by a visit to the doctor (like mentioned
above.) For me, I know if someone
recommended going to a doctor, I'd feel a
lot worse about the situation. But, it's
different for everyone, obviously.
