I found it. I defeated it.
It was a horrible way of dealing with depression, but I must admit, it worked for me. However, I don't recommend you use my same methods. I had been cutting myself since I was 11/12. I was diagnosed with depression at 13. I was on prozac and I felt worse after about 4 months on it. I tried to kill myself. They switched me onto another pill which I cannot remember the name. I hated taking them and i never felt better so I eventually just stopped taking it. Within a month, I started smoking pot. I was about 14 at the time. Within 2 years I was smoking everyday, using cocaine, acid, x, and shrooms every once in awhile (once a month maybe). That was the happiest time of my life. It taught me new ideas on life. My mindset had been expanded. I ended up gettin criminally charged at 16 with a misdemeanor and felony for possesion at school (dealing and stuff). I was sentanced 6 months probation which i am finishing that up in the next week or two. I haven't taken anti-depressents in about 2 years, I stopped smoking weed, I'm on honor roll again (haven't been there since middle school), I do use psychedelic drugs often, but not a lot. No more than once a week. My life is great and I should be gettin my record sealed soon. I really do love life and I love waking up everyday. I never thought I'd be able to do it. At 13, I was thinking about suicide every second of the day. I slit my wrist numerous times and whenever I went to the hospital for that, they were amazing that I was still alive because I had always cut so deep.

If I can beat depression, anyone can.

Have you ever discussed Bipolar disorder with you doctor? I surely would. It's amazing how some doctors just don't pick up on it. I was diagnosed back in the mid 80s and stayed in the closet since. No one knew, not even my family much less my GP who has been talking care of my depression for four years now. Only last week when I wanted my depression meds changed, she zero'd in on the fact that the Lexepo was not working as well and if I ever was told I was BP. Well, I had to tell her. I am not on 100mg at bedtime of Lemictal and I see her in a month to let her know how I feel and if she has to up it, she will at that time.
This could be your problem.

You can fight depression on your own, but it's so much easier with the help of others. You feel much less alone, and its great with a psychiatrist knowing that you have someone to go and talk to who will not judge you, tell all your friends, and is confidential. I would strongly recommend trying therapy. I usually would recommend waiting to try antidepressants as a last method if therapy doesn't work, but that's only a personal preference since I think you'd feel a lot stronger if you know you worked towards feeling better on your own (or with the help of a great support team). However, antidepressants do help a lot of people when they are feeling down.

Anyways, if you'd like to try it on your own feel free but if it starts to get overwhelming you should really go out and try to get some additional help. It does not make you a weak person; everyone needs help from time to time.

PenguinsRus, you make a very good point. I did very well managing it myself and with a psychiatrist for a long time but eventually I started on Lexapro. That didn't work so great and I quit that and went back to therapy and that seems to be all I need at this time. Talking it out makes a world of difference...its cathartic for me. I still take anti anxiety drugs but that is a different subject I think.