I think that is a really bad idea in general. I guess there are some couples with whom it wouldn't exactly be a disaster. Like if I just got pregnant, my husband would be thrilled, but it still wouldn't be right that I did that. Then there are couples where that is just really low!

Having a baby is a big deal and it shouldn't be a decision you make in that manner.

I Think if you felt the need to do that behind someones back that you have not got a very good relationship.. No I don't think that is a good idea. Relationship need to be open and honest that isn't being very honest.

Nope! It's just like lying, only with grander repercussions!

No

No, it's lying

I don't think it's ever okay to get "accidentally-on-purpose" pregnant.

I've scratched at my meager brain and came up come up with a situation where it might be considered a little wee bit "right":

Husband has terminal cancer...you see where I'm going...

who totally loves you, knows that you are unfaithful but still wants to make it work out with you, you ask him to come back and he does. He gets you pregnant. Who here is the person who made this pregnancy happen? Is it the wife who thought maybe if she could give him a son which he said he wanted more than anything? Or, the wife who thought this was her last chance for him to stay?

The man said it was just sex. Do men really think like that when they have a wife who loves them? Tried to tell him about the 27% failure rate of pull out. Says he can't believe it is his child. Honestly. We are talking about an amazing, faithful woman here.

Either way, it didn't work out for them. They are divorced. The man still feels he deserves to be happy. She says, you are not coming close to our daughter and our son to be born.

I have asked him how this could happen (as if he doesn't know). He says he never was happy, was indebted to her family for his education, but that doesn't explain that he did go back and had relations which created a child. This is a sad story. Just won't take responsibility.

It's wrong and selfish, and I don't believe any man used that way should ever be legally compelled to give the woman a single penny for child support. It's equally abhorrent for men to purposely sabotage birth control in an effort to get a woman pregnant against her will...perhaps even more so because he's knowingly putting her health at risk through pregnancy.

That being said, fortunately a new male birth control is in the works and I hope that men take advantage of it. I think that if both partners are taking what preventative measures they can it not only lessens the chance of accidental pregnancy but also pregnancy through subterfuge.

If both parties are on bc and using condoms but she still gets pregnant, then the man should demand a paternity test to be sure it's really his accident. That might sound hateful and accusatory towards women but considering that there's no doubt who the mother is when a woman gets pregnant, it's not unreasonable for a man to want to know that the child that was conceived under such odd circumstances is actually his child before the government can garnish his wages to support it for eighteen years.

It isn't uncommon for men to discover that they aren't the real fathers of children they've been raising or paying child support for. You'd think all legal requirements to support these children would be nullified but I've read a surprising number of reports and articles about men who were forced to continue supporting offspring that wasn't theirs.

I don't think it's any more acceptable to use men for their wallets than it is to use women for sex, and nobody regardless of gender has the right to use another person as a stud or brood mare.

Yeah

It is never 'right' to lie. Deliberately leaving off birth control to trap the other person is not going to work to make the relationship stable; if anything it will destablize the relationship.

I see your point.. He is dying and "maybe not want" a baby to be a burden on her. she wants one and knows one day he will be gone. Wants the love to continue. Good point ..

Nope, still not a good reason.


Yup, excellent reason.

as a last resort to hold onto someone just won't work out. Pregnancy comes with risk and a lot of emotional factors play into it. Cementing a marriage together with a pregnancy seems to me to be building a bridge over very shaky water.

I am talking about a man who was born when his mother was 16 years old. He was raised by his grandparents until his mother finally came back for him when he was 9 years old. How old was his mother? 25. That is a young woman by anyone's standards.

No matter what, our decisions and choices affect our family, our children. This guy has the same mantra, "I just want to be happy." Happiness is not just for the selfish. It is something earned and shared with those you love and who love you.

Women pretty know the time of the month when they are most likely to become pregnant. Let's face it. Maybe with them, it was a last chance effort to hold onto their marriage. Sadly, that wasn't enough. I honestly don't think anything would be enough. He kissed off his entire investment of 14 years spent building a business, a home, a family. It is their lives. Only they can live it.

Roberta777, yeah, sad but true... only we can live our lives...so do the right thing cuz karma is a b*tch!

Homerx. Nice to meet like minded souls on this forum.

Thank you very much. And I agree, nice to need you 2.

All of you get these great emotions but when I write in something, I don't see them! Where are those little babies hiding?

that's actually kinda sorta what I did. I wasn't on any type of birth control, but he knew I wanted kids. So when I knew it wasn't exactly safe, I told him not to pull out. Did that twice and I'm now 30wks pregnant. I still ask him if he's mad at me but he always replies that he's happy he's getting another baby.

Now in a situation where the woman is on birth control because he DOES NOT want kids and she deceives him by deliberately not taking them, then that's just not gonna work out in the long run. Babies don't make a relationship stronger as most people think. It wears you both down, and there's more of a chance of one of you leaving (usually the guy for some reason).