Jules
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Is it ever right to 'accidentally' get pregnant?
Posted: 02-14-08 11:06am
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It's not unheard of for a woman to get
pregnant by not taking her birth control
and not telling her partner. I wondered
what your opinions on this are?
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
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Posted: 02-14-08 12:39pm
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I think that is a really bad idea in
general. I guess there are some couples
with whom it wouldn't exactly be a
disaster. Like if I just got pregnant, my
husband would be thrilled, but it still
wouldn't be right that I did that. Then
there are couples where that is just
really low!
Having a baby is a big deal and it
shouldn't be a decision you make in that
manner.
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meblonde01
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Posted: 02-14-08 12:49pm
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I Think if you felt the need to do that
behind someones back that you have not got
a very good relationship.. No I don't
think that is a good idea. Relationship
need to be open and honest that isn't
being very honest.
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 02-14-08 13:13pm
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Nope! It's just like lying, only with
grander repercussions!
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homerx
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Mommy35
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AyaMiyaki
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Posted: 02-14-08 17:36pm
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I don't think it's ever okay to get
"accidentally-on-purpose" pregnant.
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Birch
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Posted: 02-14-08 19:55pm
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I've scratched at my meager brain and came
up come up with a situation where it might
be considered a little wee bit "right":
Husband has terminal cancer...you see
where I'm going...
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Roberta777
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When You Have A Wife
Posted: 02-14-08 20:59pm
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who totally loves you, knows that you are
unfaithful but still wants to make it work
out with you, you ask him to come back and
he does. He gets you pregnant. Who here
is the person who made this pregnancy
happen? Is it the wife who thought maybe
if she could give him a son which he said
he wanted more than anything? Or, the
wife who thought this was her last chance
for him to stay?
The man said it was just sex. Do men
really think like that when they have a
wife who loves them? Tried to tell him
about the 27% failure rate of pull out.
Says he can't believe it is his child.
Honestly. We are talking about an
amazing, faithful woman here.
Either way, it didn't work out for them.
They are divorced. The man still feels he
deserves to be happy. She says, you are
not coming close to our daughter and our
son to be born.
I have asked him how this could happen (as
if he doesn't know). He says he never was
happy, was indebted to her family for his
education, but that doesn't explain that
he did go back and had relations which
created a child. This is a sad story.
Just won't take responsibility.
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Darkmoon
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Posted: 02-14-08 22:16pm
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It's wrong and selfish, and I don't
believe any man used that way should ever
be legally compelled to give the woman a
single penny for child support. It's
equally abhorrent for men to purposely
sabotage birth control in an effort to get
a woman pregnant against her
will...perhaps even more so because he's
knowingly putting her health at risk
through pregnancy.
That being said, fortunately a new male
birth control is in the works and I hope
that men take advantage of it. I think
that if both partners are taking what
preventative measures they can it not only
lessens the chance of accidental pregnancy
but also pregnancy through subterfuge.
If both parties are on bc and using
condoms but she still gets pregnant, then
the man should demand a paternity test to
be sure it's really his accident. That
might sound hateful and accusatory towards
women but considering that there's no
doubt who the mother is when a woman gets
pregnant, it's not unreasonable for a man
to want to know that the child that was
conceived under such odd circumstances is
actually his child before the government
can garnish his wages to support it for
eighteen years.
It isn't uncommon for men to discover that
they aren't the real fathers of children
they've been raising or paying child
support for. You'd think all legal
requirements to support these children
would be nullified but I've read a
surprising number of reports and articles
about men who were forced to continue
supporting offspring that wasn't theirs.
I don't think it's any more acceptable to
use men for their wallets than it is to
use women for sex, and nobody regardless
of gender has the right to use another
person as a stud or brood mare.
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homerx
Moderator
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Jincks013
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Posted: 02-15-08 07:40am
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It is never 'right' to lie. Deliberately
leaving off birth control to trap the
other person is not going to work to make
the relationship stable; if anything it
will destablize the relationship.
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meblonde01
Supporter
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Posted: 02-15-08 08:36am
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| Birch
wrote: | I've scratched at my meager
brain and came up come up with a situation
where it might be considered a little wee
bit "right":
Husband has terminal cancer...you see
where I'm
going... |
I see your point.. He is dying and "maybe
not want" a baby to be a burden on her.
she wants one and knows one day he will be
gone. Wants the love to continue. Good
point ..
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 02-15-08 15:37pm
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| Roberta777
wrote: | When You Have A Wife who
totally loves you, knows that you are
unfaithful but still wants to make it work
out with you, you ask him to come back and
he does. He gets you pregnant. Who here
is the person who made this pregnancy
happen? Is it the wife who thought maybe
if she could give him a son which he said
he wanted more than anything? Or, the
wife who thought this was her last chance
for him to stay?
The man said it was just sex. Do men
really think like that when they have a
wife who loves them? Tried to tell him
about the 27% failure rate of pull out.
Says he can't believe it is his child.
Honestly. We are talking about an
amazing, faithful woman here.
Either way, it didn't work out for them.
They are divorced. The man still feels he
deserves to be happy. She says, you are
not coming close to our daughter and our
son to be born.
I have asked him how this could happen (as
if he doesn't know). He says he never was
happy, was indebted to her family for his
education, but that doesn't explain that
he did go back and had relations which
created a child. This is a sad story.
Just won't take
responsibility. |
Nope, still not a good reason.
| meblonde01
wrote: | | Birch
wrote: | I've scratched at my meager
brain and came up come up with a situation
where it might be considered a little wee
bit "right":
Husband has terminal cancer...you see
where I'm
going... |
I see your point.. He is dying and "maybe
not want" a baby to be a burden on her.
she wants one and knows one day he will be
gone. Wants the love to continue. Good
point .. |
Yup, excellent reason.
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Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
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To Deliberately Get Pregnant
Posted: 02-15-08 22:12pm
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as a last resort to hold onto someone just
won't work out. Pregnancy comes with risk
and a lot of emotional factors play into
it. Cementing a marriage together with a
pregnancy seems to me to be building a
bridge over very shaky water.
I am talking about a man who was born when
his mother was 16 years old. He was
raised by his grandparents until his
mother finally came back for him when he
was 9 years old. How old was his mother?
25. That is a young woman by anyone's
standards.
No matter what, our decisions and choices
affect our family, our children. This guy
has the same mantra, "I just want to be
happy." Happiness is not just for the
selfish. It is something earned and
shared with those you love and who love
you.
Women pretty know the time of the month
when they are most likely to become
pregnant. Let's face it. Maybe with
them, it was a last chance effort to hold
onto their marriage. Sadly, that wasn't
enough. I honestly don't think anything
would be enough. He kissed off his entire
investment of 14 years spent building a
business, a home, a family. It is their
lives. Only they can live it.
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homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3554 Location: Earth..usually, USA
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Posted: 02-15-08 22:35pm
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Roberta777, yeah, sad but true...  only we can live
our lives...so do the right thing cuz
karma is a b*tch! 
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Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
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Right On Right
Posted: 02-15-08 22:55pm
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Homerx. Nice to meet like minded souls on
this forum.
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homerx
Moderator
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Roberta777
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 755 Location: ,
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Honestly
Posted: 02-15-08 23:44pm
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All of you get these great emotions but
when I write in something, I don't see
them! Where are those little babies
hiding?
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Lilly Ivy
Extremely EHEALTHy
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Posted: 02-16-08 03:55am
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that's actually kinda sorta what I did. I
wasn't on any type of birth control, but
he knew I wanted kids. So when I knew it
wasn't exactly safe, I told him not to
pull out. Did that twice and I'm now 30wks
pregnant. I still ask him if he's mad at
me but he always replies that he's happy
he's getting another baby.
Now in a situation where the woman is on
birth control because he DOES NOT want
kids and she deceives him by deliberately
not taking them, then that's just not
gonna work out in the long run. Babies
don't make a relationship stronger as most
people think. It wears you both down, and
there's more of a chance of one of you
leaving (usually the guy for some reason).
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