It's a good thing you don't have the guts. Killing yourself is not the answer, so you need to get that out of your head right away. You are only 15 and there is a lot of life...what could be a wonderful life....ahead of you.

What you need to do is get out of yourself. What about your parents? Are they still around? IF they are, they must be taking care of you? They are there for you every day and maybe you've overlooked that....assuming that you live with your parents.

Don't worry about the girl you love. It's too early in your life to be worried about a relationship. You need to concentrate on the people around you and getting yourself better: start doing things for other people. Be there for other people....you will find it very fulfilling to do things for others in need without need of anything in return. Sign up for volunteer work. Help out the your parents or the people you live with. Staying active is the best way to quiet your mind so that you will not think depressing thoughts.

You will also find that this will help wear you out more physically so that you will sleep better. I am not sure if you are Narcoleptic. Have you been diagnosed by a doctor for your ailments? ...you may only have this because you are not sleeping well at night and not willing to do much during the day. You could even join a sports program....or just take a daily run. Exercise is a great stress and depression reliever.

Apart from that have you seen a doctor or psychiatrist, or are you taking medication, for your condition?