|Of course your childhood has an effect on your adult life, as it does for us all.
I was raped at 13 and aborted the subsequent pregnancy. It was the best decision of my life. I went on to fall in love with my ex-fiance, and we now have a beautiful 2 month old daughter. If you ever feel like you want to have a child, your past doesn't necessarily mean you won't love him or her.
If you don't feel like you want kids, that's fine to. If you do think you want them and are just scared about how you'd connect, seek help. Trust me, letting out the poison helps LOADS. It doesn't have to even be a doctor, just talking to someone you trust is enough.
I think you should stay away from your rapist. I can't even imagine what kind of psychological damage that's wreaking on you.
I hope you aren't still harming yourself? You are incredibly strong to have made it this far. I tried to kill myself -and almost succeeded- after the rape. The fact that we are both still here makes us survivors.