If I were you, I would seek someone who could help you get to the bottom of your problems. Maybe, just depression but you symtoms due mimic Bipolar Disorder. Only a doctor can diagnose that. At least get some help.
I personally had three marriages and the last one I knew hime for 12 years before we got married. I left him at least 5 times on a whim before we devorced. I just up and got in my car and left. Relationships are hard for us with BPD.

Carrie

Thank you for your advice,i also have a lot of the other symptons i have racing thoughts sometimes i think i am losing my mind when i cant get to sleep because i am just thinking all the time.I dont kno if ocd is related to bipolar but i have an obsession with hoovering and things being straight it drives me mad but if theres one bit of fluff or anything on the carpet i have to hoover the full room.

That is one other major symptom of any depression much less BPD. You may just need a medicataion to help you out as most of us do. When the right med is found for you it will help those hills and vallies and your impulsiveness. As far as you sex drive and being touched. I hated it when I was touch. I just wanted to be left alone. My last husband was the lovey touchy type. And I would also put him in the catagorie of a nimpho. But, believe it or not, after all is said and done, I really do still love him very much and probably would try and work things out if he were not so far away.

Carrie

I am definatley going to make an appointment to see my doctor i have been keeping this to myself for so long i just cant hide it no more.I loved my last partner so much and i just ended it he thought there was somethng wrong with me and i just ignored it.He was totally devasted and it as like i didnt really care what he thought,althought the week before he as my whole world.ARRRGGGG feel like i am going mad xx

Sit back and take a deep breath. Unlike other mental disorders, BPD is actually a blood disorder. See, you body is natualy supposed to produce Lithium crystals.
When is is lacking that in your systom and not producing it, that is what cause BPD. I is a blood disorder and not a mental disorder dana. It can be treated. It won't make things perfect but it should make you feel alot better.

Carrie

So can biploar be detected through a blood test?

Dana

Yes it sure can Dana. Doctors are smarter now days and pick up on the patterns you have. But in my day (when I was in my early 20s) it was not that easy. Here is how it is done.

Your body is supposed to naturally put out a certain amount of Lithium. Bad part is it does not show up on a blood test. So, if it is thought you may be BP the doctor then draws a random base line to see if any shows up. If it does not, he the gives you a 100mg does. You then wait a week and go back and have another blood draw. The Lithium then should show up meaning you had no Lithium output at all in your body. From there he will gradually up you at 100mg does with another blood draw each week untill you feel better and are at a stable and effective yet a non overdosing dose of what ever med he chooses to start you off on. You have to follow up with the blood level before you can maintain a level of improvement.

Hope that was not to comfusing Dana. So see, that is why BPD is not a "mental" disorder. I is the lack of Lithium in your blood.
I don't even know if they do that anymore and just go by your symtoms. See, I finally came out of the closet this last week and my doctor asked if I was ever diagnosed BP. UGH! I could not lie. I said yes, through blood work back in the mid 80s. She knows me sooooo wel. Love her to death. Can put anything by this doctor.

Carrie

I differ with Carrie in her statement that BPD is not listed as a mental disease. I'd like you to go to the Mayoclinicdotcom and read everything they have regarding this condition. You'll be much better informed as to how and why you should seek treatment if you truly are Bipolar. Wishing you the best.
Annie

Sorry, I meant to say Mental Disorder. I really don't know which is correct but I feel sure that it's not just a lack of Lithium crystals in the blood. I see now that Georgia has a "sticky" showing another great web-site, Nat'l Health board, I believe. Take care.
Annie

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. The constant dread that something is going to happen to your children or you sounds like anxiety. The racing thoughts and OCD behavior can be attributed to many conditions along with BP.

You should see a psychiatrist soon. If you can't, let your family doctor know you need to be seen right away. You deserve relief from these troubling symptoms. Once you start a treatment plan you'll feel better soon.

thank you for your advice.I made an appointment today but i cant get seen until next thursday.
I also feel like my body is slowng down cant seem to concentrate when i am reading it takes me a while and i keep forgetting things can this be related to bipolar?

Perhaps you're entering a depressive stage.

I also sleep ALOT i could sleep all day and still sleep all night then feel tired the next day..

This is absolutely the first sign I get when I'm becoming depressed. I drop off fast at night then usually wake up off and on during the night. Then it's drag myself out of bed and try to make it through the day. But I'd always end up sleeping whenever I could during the day.

Please take care of yourself! Do you have support to help with the family?

I can definably relate. I take Xanax for anxiety and to help me sleep and stay asleep. It has really made a difference. Take bakin_aprils advise, she seems to know first hand and she makes a lot of since. I also take deep breaths and walk a lot, it helps to get me out of my head and when I do my deep breathing I say "calm blue ocean" over and over again to myself. I know it sounds silly but it seems to work for me. Good Luck 2 U.

I do have a partner who supports me a lot,i have only been with him a year and at first couldnt understand hy i slept alot and neither did i.I have suffered with depression in the past my mother died hen i was 12 and things were pretty rocky after then.
I have also got a daughter who has septo optic dysplasia and epilepsy so that can be very stressfull.
I hate it when i am down and i shout at everyone for no reason i just cant take the thoughts of death no more and i no that something has to be done about it.

It sounds too easy to be true, but try to distract yourself with something else: music, a task. I've been able to say to myself: "Stop! You don't have the energy for this kind of thinking. Let's go do . . . " This makes me aware of the thoughts and I feel like I'm more in control. This sometimes help switch the bad thinking to another channel. If this doesn't work, talking to someone who understands, which it sounds like you have, is a great help.

Something I've done a lot when I've been stressed it to take a tennis raquet or my walking stick and whomp the mattress with it a few times. Very therapeutic.

There has been many times when i have thought i was just going to die and have jumped up and made a cup of tea or started doing housework anything to stop me having a panic attack.
Any advice on how to stop the racing thoughts especially on a night when i try to sleep the thoughts go round and round so fast my head hurts.
I go through phases of going straight to sleep on a night then never been able to sleep because of the thoughts.

The thoughts are hell. It's been a while, but I clearly remember. Do whatever (healthy thing) it takes to bump your brain off them. Sometimes I literally focus on the here and now: You're walking down the hall, when you get to the end of the hall you'll go into the room, when you're in the room ... it seems to occupy the brain enough to silence the thoughts, maybe because when you're using your brain this way it's busy thinking of the next step you need to take.

In bed I play a sound machine and run a fan. To occupy my brain I plan an event. I've planned elaborate tea parties, birthday parties, dinner parties, Christmases, etc. I've imagined what I'd buy if I had endless money. Something neutral and pleasant. If you become aware of the racing thoughts returning, gently guide yourself back. Sometimes I go to sleep in the middle of it, so I guess it works.

There are books, workbooks and cd's with better techniques at libraries, bookstores and probably online.