Hey It sounds like you have anxiety and tmj. the anxiety will not help the tmj at all. Like mominashoe said it can effect your ears. Try to relax and to limit your stress as much as you can.
to help with the ears you may want to apply heat to your ears. Massage the muscles around the joint. I dont know your financial state but you may want to attempt to treat the jaw and the anxiety at the same time. I think that the anxiety is making your symptoms worse though--so my line of attack would be to treat the anxiety and get a mouth guard to protect your teeth.
another thing that helps is if you feel that you are tensing up contract your stomach muscles. also keep your teeth slightly apart with your tongue to the top of your mouth. if you make this a habit during the day it will"bleed" over into the night and you will do it while you sleep as well.
also keep your diet as soft as possible for the jaw.
Id be interested to hear of your other symptoms. I may have a suggestion that will help wtih your jaw.
we also have a tmj forum. feel free to come over and join us:)