The only divorce I have experience with is my parents. It was a horrible situation that they both walked away equally from.

I believe that in most cases women get a better deal because they are seen as weaker and in need of more *help*. On another note, if children are involved they tend to get the worse end. Their family is falling apart and in most cases their parents are pressuring them to chose sides, whether they realize it or not.

I think the men get the worse end..

Men are made to pay child support, alimony, get partial custody (if any) and usually don't get the house if there are kids involved.

Women seem to come out ahead.

I would also like to point out that it depends on the situation and if their is fault in the divorce. If one of the spouses cheated it should reflect in the divorce proceedings.

You break it, you buy it

lol

Sad when you read, men are made to pay child support. It is their child, they should want to be part of lives, paying for their well being etc. If not he gets what he deserves.

So if a woman has to take a man to court for child support, the woman and child gets the dirty end.

I personally thing alimony is the most stupid thing in the world. Out off all the divorces in my family (there's quite a few) the men always got the shorter end of the stick. The only situation where the man came out on top was the custody battle for my husbands child. And the only reason he won was because she had a stack of violations against her (parking tickets, stealing, etc.) while he's completely clean. He has full custody and is SUPPOSED to be getting child support, but because she doesn't work, he doesn't get crap.

ALL other situations, the man has to pay alimony, pay child support, and as mentioned, usually doesn't get the house. So the woman still lives there while he struggles to pay for an apartment AND give her half his paycheck. I just angers me.

And the celebrities that split and she takes half the money because 'she deserves it' doesn't make sence. You marry someone with $5 in your pocket, that's what you leave with. Unless you did something TOGETHER to make that money, you don't 'deserve' anything from him...

Can you tell the court system gets me fired up?!?

Alimony is not as common as it used to be. In most cases the man pays child support because they are HIS children and he is responsible for helping to take care of them. When going into a marriage you are agreeing to support each other through thick and thin. You are joining everything you have together and if you don't want to split it down the middle later then get a darn pre-nup. It is NOT that hard.

Sexism isn't really attractive. You really need to do some research before lighting this fire because the rules are different for each state right down to figuring out child support or the need for alimony.
Also you are neglecting entirely that the majority of divorces in the U.S. are no fault divorces, in fact 49 states have no fault divorce laws. Both sides must agree to the divorce and all the provisions in it for it to be legal.

Divorce has to be one of the most painful things anybody can go through. As Jincks mentioned, most states say that they abide by no fault divorce.

Aside from that, what really happens? The wife, the mother of the children is the one sitting in the cat bird's seat. She has the kids, she has the house, she gets the money to provide for herself and the children.

What does the husband get? Pretty much nothing. He can be denied his children, moved into an apartment (and I don't care how much money he makes) and, yet. by getting a divorce, he will pay for the rest of his life.

It must really boil down to being pretty unhappy, let's face it, horribly, unhappy for years and years to break up a marriage and just walk away.

Sometimes, counseling is not the only answer. Many anger management is a first step. And, then too, if there isn't love, how can you honestly make it happen for you.

We go around one time. Some people want more than a 25% marriage. Some want love and maybe they will find it.

We all know about the process of divorce and how it some states/countries laws might be different.
It is just a personal opinion question.. What you have seen or felt throughout your life.

When my parents got divorced my mom got everything and my dad left with a trash bag full of clothes.

Good point....you break it, you buy it!!! classic!!

I' have to agree that from what I've seen, the woman normally seems to come out on top and dragging the children with her whether that's the best decision or not.

The only divorce I know a lot about is that of my ex-fiancee's parents. His mother lives in a modest house (which some people may call small) with good furnishings. It's just her and two cats these days. His father has a very large stone house which I think he's renting, on a large plot of land with a big pond in the backyard. The father remarried and has two daughters.

Overall, it LOOKS like right now, his father ended up on top but I have no idea what it was like right after the divorce. I don't know who got the kids. I do know that apparently my ex-fiancee was an extremely happy and talkative child before the divorce, and afterwards became the almost sullen, quiet person he is now.

When I was in sixth grade, my parents got a divorce. My mom cheated on my father and she left him a few days before Christmas for the man she cheated with. She ended up getting child support, and half custody of us.

I haven't had much personal experience with divorce, but it does seem like the wife generally gets the kids, even though the father may be just as good a parent. I have no quarrel with child support from whichever spouse doesn't have custody because, in marrying, they promised to pool their resources for life.

Most of my grownup friends whose parents divorced have horror stories about life after the split. So, the kids generally seem to get the worst of a divorce because, in many cases, their entire lives are disrupted.

And, the parent with the children has the control. They really need to be treated with civility, kindness and the person who decided they just had to have that divorce should realize they are not just getting rid of a wife they no longer want, but they are making a huge error in judgement when it comes down to their children.

Now, the wife who has been literally thrown away can decide it is big pay back time.

The thing that is the most tragic to me is why parents can't honestly say that their children deserve both a mother and a father. Why does the individual needs and desires of a parent outweigh the needs of a child once it is born to these parents?

Once you have a child, that child deserves protection and love. Not to be torn in two by the parents. It may not be literally torn in two physically, but for sure it is going to be destroyed and torn in two by the parent's hate for each other.

For anyone to actually believe that they can just divorce a wife of 13 years who is pregnant and believe they will have a relationship with their children makes me realize they really need to stay in counseling. Just someone that I know. There must be countless other stories out there.

Trust me. You can be married to somebody that you totally love. Life can have it's good times and it's hard times. Nobody promised us a sailing ship with the wind in our faces and nothing but honey, music and good wine.

I was blessed with a man I loved. Sure we had good times and some times we didn't like each other as much. But, it all came down in the end, that we loved each other. We gave each other space, I could travel to England when I wanted, to anywhere. So could he but in the end we were just happy with what we had together and with our children and grandchildren too.

In the past I would agree with you but today it is becoming an equal playground for both. Today a man has a much ability to get custody as a woman does. Going on old outdated status quos don't work.

I have been divorced.

Financialy it was devastating for me and my kids. We had to start out from the ground up. I did eventually get some of my household goods about two years latter. At first I had to move back in with my parents with two small kids in tow then to a tiny apartment with no yard. We had to use the bus system to get around which really limited our activities.

The court awarded me two hundred and fifty dollars a month for two children in child support of which I recieved two payment and then nothing. (I've known more women who never were able to collect on their child support than those who did). For several years (2) my kids were on families with dependent children so that they could recieve medical care. I worked at two jobs to get us off of that and went back to court to get the ex to provide ID cards (military) so his kids could get medical care.

That was the down side. The up side was no more beatings. No more forced sex. I could have friends. I could have my family. My kids could be kids and make noise nad play in the living room and make messes and talk at the table. My kids did not have to see me abused anymore. My son grew up without having abusive male role model. My daughter did not grow up learning that women are there for male convienience and that it is OK for a male to punch a woman or for the husband to copulate with anyfemale he chooses when he chooses.

Finances can improve and the damage that can be done i a bad marriage to both the adults and the kids is irreversable.

I think that the party that has been injured by the marriage is the one that gets the raw deal. It is not just about tings and custody of the kids it is about trust and expectations. Those things are always damaged and never quite the same for all in the divorce.

I forgot one thing that came out of my divorce. I did not get killed. We were headed in that direction and the last beating was really close. I guess my divorce gave my kids a live mother. I think my ex probably would see that as a raw deal for him.